Celebrations mark our lives, celebrations remind us of the importance of community life. Immagine a life time without celebrations? I guess without any celebrations my life will be very dull and very lonely. There will be no colour, no food, no decorations, no floral arrangements, no gathering of people (community), no music, no designer clothing, no ornaments worn by women, no watches...There will be NO SO MANY THINGS! What a life then it will be for me?
For me the major challenge during festivities such as Christmas, New Year and Chinese New Year is for family members to get together. In Asia, as well as in Australia, internal family issues seem to split family members. You will be surprise that if you look into families there are scars present; brothers and sisters not speaking to each other because of conflict of interest, parents against their children's lifestyle, family law suits. Oh the horrible list goes on!
Whether I like it or not, I must say I myself am part of the problem too. If we look into our own family, and if there is an on going problem within the family, it is not only because of the others BUT most of the time it is also my fault; each of us play a role in the cycle of problems, whether we like it or not. Sadly, being human it is always so easy for our first step to be blaming the other person. No doubt by all means the other person can be in the wrong because of his/her attitude, but let us remember sometimes that person reacts that way because of us- because of me.
So, the solution to this problem within family and friendships is that all parties must find the humility to improve on the situation; all parties must examine the way they think, react (communication- speak and listen) and solve issues. If we continue to only point our finger to the other person, then nothing gets solved. Remember if my finger remains pointing to the other person, that person will be also pointing his/her finger at me and nothing gets resolved; no person is thinking, no one is communicating and no one is reconciled.
Thus, celebrations can also mark a time when members of our family and members of the society are reminded of their biggest enemies in life; not the devil, but by our human enemies. I remembered that during major celebrations like a wedding, the couple will prepare on whom to invite to the wedding dinner. How often are our ex-partners left out? How often are those who may have harmed us not remembered in the list? During festivities like Christmas and the coming Chinese New Year, don't we also marked out those we don't seem to 'get along'?
The story here is, all of us have a role to play when things go wrong in a relationship. To be honest, I don't like this fact that I too have a role to play. Sadly, if we study on a 'scar' we may be carrying in life, most often we do see our role in creating that scar too; maybe we have not communicated well, perhaps we have been unjust, our attitudes are not correct? Sadly, like me, so many of us chose the easy way of sweeping everything under the thick carpet::((
Like you I myself hate to "BLAME MYSELF" when a relationship/situations turns sour...worst still if it turns bad. So, as New Year 2012 comes, my hope is I have the courage not only to be resolved to do better outwardly in life during 2012, but more importantly too I hope to improve my internal life.
I hope that is also your wish this coming 2012!
God Bless 2012!