The year 2011 has been one that was filled with so many occasions to be thankful and occasions whereby I had to cry (internally of cause). The year began for me on a very positive note- one that showed me that my dream was close at hand; I was on the path to enter the Friary in Perth with the Order of the Franciscans of the Immaculate. As months passed by, things were all going well and gentle; had good friends that made a point of visiting each other each weekends (Ivan, Donna and James), the youths who were fun and loving (missed going for the movies and coffee) and the ordinary challenges faced living with people not related to me (community living).
As June approached my day of departure for
Perth came closer; I was in a mixture of fear and joy. Anxiety! But, I was more towards being happy that I am finally taking the plunge into formally becoming a servant witness of Christ. Landing in
Perth at around
12pm (
midnight), Fr Sharbel was there to greet me at the airport and it was drizzling. Our drive towards the Friary was in darkness and with the rain out there it made the ride chilly and warmth because of Fr Sharbel. The Friary was one that I had always had expected as someone called to the Franciscan way of living; we lived in an old Sisters of Mercy convent, which was dilapidated but on the way for much improvements. What was important is that these men and I lived in community; prayer, work, recreation and mission. Yes, there were occasion when some brothers will get a little angry, but this was the reality of life. Overall, in community we were a group of brothers who were sincere with our vocation, deepening our love for God and others, and living our lives bearing witness to the Gospel. I totally felt at home!
I think compared with previous years, 2011 was one that started to sharpen my spirituality on the understanding of human life; namely understanding the interaction between people. I decided, after much thinking over, that being sent away on
Mission to
Italy may not be my cup of tea; considered my parents and also my Malaysian homeland. It was a very hard decision to make, to say to God and myself, “
the best I can do for now, is leave the Order and get back to Penang and be a witness for Jesus in Penang”. I was one that is never shy of my weaknesses, and my local Superior Fr Sharbel commented on my HONESTY when I spoke to him about my decision to leave Perth and return to Penang; I was very touched that he commented on my honesty, because in questioning me he saw that I had no hidden agendas.
You know, as a firm believer in the God of Jesus Christ, as the Bible mentions, ‘if we come close to God, God draws Himself close to us’. And this is so so so true! Getting back to
Penang, I just tried my luck with seeking a job in
Penang that may have some of my vision and mission in life. Since, I am a Permanent Resident of Australia, I did planed of returning to
Australia but told myself to try out
Penang; give
Malaysia a chance, since people have encouraged me to serve
Malaysia. I was so happy when I heard of Sri Pelita and started to apply; I came to know after my first interview that my dad and aunt knew Yoke Chee (the CEO/founder) from their Intel days.
I am happy here at Sri Pelita and looking forward to hopefully be a positive influence to the lives of many. No doubt this school is small and growing, but I can feel that the heart of this school has SINCERITY for the lives of the young. For me the passion of the teachers here at Sri Pelita, is what makes this school unique on its own. The Principal and CEO, seems to be dedicated too and thus I am even happier to be here.
Before leaving
Perth I made a promise to God to live for Him totally in the Private Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience in total dedication to Mary, Mother of God. With the help of Grace, I hope to remain faithful to these vows until the time comes when God should direct me other wise. Returning to
Penang, also marked the occasion where my good friends questioned the way of my life and the need of me to dress in a brown habit. Anyway, it was a reality I have considered that once I leave the safety of the Franciscan Friary I will have no safe place to practice my Franciscan way of life without being questioned and, even maybe ridiculed. It was a risk I decided to take as I remain obedient to the Vocation in this one life I am blessed with.
Also, something I kept missing to share is when I returned to Penang my dad was offered a job to go to China for some factory projects; so dad has been travelling to china for 3 weeks on each month. Thus, being home I can help mum to watch over the house and the daily chores. It is again so true that God’s ways are never our ways.
The year 2012, will be a year that requires much growth on my part as I retune my mind to the Malaysian system and working within a non-catholic environment. A few days ago, I was at Tesco and I saw a young man with a terrible face disease; he had no nose and there were strange growth across his nose area. I just told myself, why rush for ‘more money, more good things, better pay’ when there are others suffering? I looked at myself and told myself, “I have no deformities and I have a good family and a job. Let me be grateful!”
My hope for 2012 is simply to be a good Christian witness where ever I am, to respect others and to love one another. Like many, I too am not perfect. I hope I will be able to be of help to others, as they do the same to me.
May there too be peace throughout the world.
Happy 2012!