Franciscans the past, present and future

Newton, Jesus, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa, Buddha were all in town!

2012-01-28T14:56:00.001+10:00

'The people who heard him were amazed at the way he taught,

for he wasn't like the teachers of the Law;

instead, he taught with authority.

Mark 1: 22

The past week, has been one of merry making, gathering among friends and relatives...Yes, it was all around food! Have I put on many kilos? I don't think so, as these days I seem to be a moderate eater myself. Not sure why I don't find that inner strength to over indulge? Could it be my life of prayer, meditation and self-control? I wonder? But, yes my taste butts were all functioning pretty well, and love the local food. Guess what? I must admit I miss the chinese way of chinese new year gatherings, that we don't get in Australia; last night I was at a dinner and it was noisy, crazy acts and me were the last tables to leave the restaurant (almost 12am!); a very typical Malaysian chinese way.

But, it was all great!

Have you ever wondered if you were listening to Jesus in the streets, what will be your reaction? If we were alive during the time of Mother Teresa, Mahatma Ghandi, Buddha, Albert Einstein, Newton (discovered gravity)...What will be our first reaction? Today, we easily listen to those ideas given to us by people who lived in the past. Their words give us hope, knowledge, life, science...You name it.

At the same time, we need to be mindful of the many struggles that these great people of the past had to go through. Jesus, got Himself crucified! Mother Teresa opted to live a life of real poverty to help the poor! I am sure Newton and Einstein, had to face ridicule to proff their new found scientific knowledge. The man who spoke about the earth globe being round and NOT flat, was tortured by the Roman Catholic Church; Galileo.

I bet, today we too live in the same circle of history. Those who do not think alike with the great majority are often silenced and at times even toutured/killed. Look at the many up risings that took place in some parts of the world last year? Look also in our own work place and community, how do YOU treat those that, in YOUR mind, are different from you and the majority?

Like so many, I very often fall short myself. At my work place, when gossips start to spread, and those gossips reaches my ears, I too am affected in the way I treat that person who is gossiped on. When person A and B, is talked on, I start becoming very suspicious of that person A and B. It is sad, because at prayer each evening when I reflect, I ask myself the question of CHARITY.

Is it charity when I look upon others with suspicion? Is it charity when others gossip on another, even when that gossip may be 'valid'? Is it reasonable for me to pay attention to gossips?

I wonder when can I speak like Jesus and make my audience be amazed by what I have to say?

Let us work on this, may our words GIVE LIFE to people, to science, to communities, to religion, to society...Again YOU name it! May your words be life giving where ever you are!::))

Remembering Those Behind the Scene

2012-01-21T16:39:00.002+10:00

(St Joseph's Noviate before the Hunza Paragon Mall project began)

Remember Those Behind the Success of Paragon Mall

I refer to ‘Novitiate building transformed into dining and social hub’ (the Star 21^st January 2011) and express my congratulations to Hunza for the opening of St Jo’s at Paragon Mall. A magnificent piece of architecture as viewed from Gurney Drive, but I have yet to step inside Paragon Mall for a better view of the interior.

Every success that we have is always shaped by those around us. Our achievements, and our ability to face the odds, always come through the criticisms and support we get from others. I am sure, the success of Paragon Mall and the preservation of St Jo’s, came through individuals who dared to stand for what they believed to be right, holy and true

In the early stages of the Paragon Mall project, various parties voiced their dissatisfaction of the magnitude of such a project will do to the areas around Gurney Drive. There were environmental, infrastructure and heritage issues that many believed needed to be looked at before Paragon Mall can start building.

I myself, was a very strong critique to the fact that Hunza did not look into the need to preserve the St Joseph’s Novitiate as a heritage landmark. Hunza, according to the news, considered ‘relocating’ the St Joseph’s Chapel into another site (I have with me records of the letters I sent to the Star).

The Penang Heritage Trust (PHT) also stood behind the people of Penang, supporting penangites’ voices. The PHT, PHT members and I took great efforts in attending court proceedings at Komtar, Penang. I was privileged to have met the owner of Hunza at one of the court hearings.

After the many months of hard voluntary work to save St Joseph’s Novitiate as a heritage landmark, soon we got news that the building will be preserved. When Lim Guan Eng was elected as Chief Minister of Penang, again I was so delighted that the issues surrounding Hunza’s Paragon Mall project was looked into by the Chief Minister.

To the many Penangites who dared to make your views heard, I congratulate you. I thank the Chief Minister of Penang, Lim Guan Eng, who heard the voices of the people of Penang and ensured that the size of the Paragon Mall was reduced. I also wish to express my appreciation to Hunza, for the success of Paragon Mall and St Jo’s.

Today, as I pass through Gurney Drive, I am glad to see St Joseph happily sitting in the centre of the Paragon Mall project. Heritage Buildings such at St Joseph’s are never a waste, because the issues of the past remind us of what we can and should do today and in the near future. A master piece of architecture of the past, reminds us that if we persevere we can always succeed.

Bro Kenneth Mary Gan
Tanjong Bungah

My Life...My Message

2012-01-15T00:27:00.002+10:00

"Come and see," Jesus answered.

So they went with him and saw where he lived,

and spent the rest of that day with him.

John 1: 38

2nd Sunday Ordinary Time Gospel from John 1: 35-42

Like so many people, being a human, I cannot resist but try out the new food outlets bloosoming around Penang Island. You see, I too, enjoy trying out anything new and UNIQUE; I too thrist for the beautiful, the exciting, the happy, the cool...

Today, I stepped into the Macacon Cafe at Gurney Plaza to try their offerings of macarons. They have 5 types of flavour and, as expected the price was absorbitant; RM3 for 1. I bought 5 macarons for RM14! After being exposed to Australian culture, I have had many different western pastries and one of them being the macaron. One of the attractive part of macarons is that it requires a special technique to make the crusts. Also the many different bright colourings of each macaron makes a macaron pleasant to the eyes!

So we can never say "NO!" To a piece of sweet and handsome macaron!

This week's Gospel, Simon and Andrew, the first 2 disciples of Jesus, could not help it but to cling themselves to Jesus. Simon and Andrew, got their eyes caught on the person of Christ. I wonder what attracted them to Jesus? Was Jesus glittering and colourful, in those days? Was Jesus like a macaron-sweet and handsome?

These 2 poor humble men, must have found in the way Jesus lived His life, a message that speaks of ETERNITY! Because, what else could these 2 poor fishermen, decide to leave their jobs and lives, and follow the life of Jesus? I am very sure Jesus offered them no money and no luxury. But, like to us today, Jesus only promised more persecutions. To those who are willing to persevere to the end, the promise of Eternal Life.

Today, in meditation, I asked myself, "IS MY LIFE UP TO THE MARK?" When others see the way I live my life, do they see in me a solution to today's problems? When others look at the way I work, I smile, I get angry...When people see my day to day living, do they see Eternity in me?

Not many are called to such a witnessing. Mahatma Ghandi and the Saints, they have lived their lives worthy of immitation. If you are called to a higher calling, my advice is to persevere in it. The life of a Saint is not a smooth one, but one marked by great persecutions. Mahatma Ghandi, had his life taken away from him; he was murdered!

I Had an Epiphany

2012-01-07T23:56:00.002+10:00

Arise, Jerusalem, and shine like the sun; The glory of the Lord is shining on you!
~Isaiah 60:1

This weekend marks the end of the Roman Catholic Christmas Season, with the celebration of the Epiphany of the Lord. Epiphany means a 'manifestation' or a burst of knowledge in something much bigger. For many, I think we feel that epiphany was only possible to the 3 Wise Men from the east who, upon following the star, found the baby Jesus born in the stable.

It is a sad fact, I see so many do not feel that a sudden burst of knowledge, or wisdom, or a sudden burst of inner happiness is ever possible. Maybe we no longer yearn after that, which is so dear to us. Maybe we no longer dare to desire, to hope, for something that is lasting.

How sad?

For me this sudden burst of the beauty of my life, came about indirectly one weekday evening last week. One evening I decided to take a walk up Pearl Hill, I normally do this on a weekly basis, but for some months now have not made it to Pearl Hill. So, on that evening I decided to make up prayer time (my intimacy with God) by having a stroll.

I said a short prayer at my private altar, asking God to allow me to see him as I take my walk up Pearl Hill; I said that prayer to sanctify my walking-cum-prayer up Pearl Hill.

And as I walked that 1 hour journey, God was indirectly showing Himself to me. And I felt it so intensely because for the FIRST TIME in all my walks up that hill the below took place...

...A beautiful bird, with a unique tail, perched on the electric wires...

...a smile from a lady...

...sounds of monkeys in the trees...

...a squirrel running across the road...

All I could say to myself, with a simple outer and inner giggle is.
"How beautiful and great a God I have! How beautiful is the human existence!"

Happy Epiphany and never let yourself be brought down by life's trails...Believe and it shall happen!

The Best and Worst of 2011

2011-12-31T13:48:00.005+10:00

The year 2011 has been one that was filled with so many occasions to be thankful and occasions whereby I had to cry (internally of cause). The year began for me on a very positive note- one that showed me that my dream was close at hand; I was on the path to enter the Friary in Perth with the Order of the Franciscans of the Immaculate. As months passed by, things were all going well and gentle; had good friends that made a point of visiting each other each weekends (Ivan, Donna and James), the youths who were fun and loving (missed going for the movies and coffee) and the ordinary challenges faced living with people not related to me (community living).

As June approached my day of departure for Perth came closer; I was in a mixture of fear and joy. Anxiety! But, I was more towards being happy that I am finally taking the plunge into formally becoming a servant witness of Christ. Landing in Perth at around 12pm (midnight), Fr Sharbel was there to greet me at the airport and it was drizzling. Our drive towards the Friary was in darkness and with the rain out there it made the ride chilly and warmth because of Fr Sharbel. The Friary was one that I had always had expected as someone called to the Franciscan way of living; we lived in an old Sisters of Mercy convent, which was dilapidated but on the way for much improvements. What was important is that these men and I lived in community; prayer, work, recreation and mission. Yes, there were occasion when some brothers will get a little angry, but this was the reality of life. Overall, in community we were a group of brothers who were sincere with our vocation, deepening our love for God and others, and living our lives bearing witness to the Gospel. I totally felt at home!

I think compared with previous years, 2011 was one that started to sharpen my spirituality on the understanding of human life; namely understanding the interaction between people. I decided, after much thinking over, that being sent away on Mission to Italy may not be my cup of tea; considered my parents and also my Malaysian homeland. It was a very hard decision to make, to say to God and myself, “the best I can do for now, is leave the Order and get back to Penang and be a witness for Jesus in Penang”. I was one that is never shy of my weaknesses, and my local Superior Fr Sharbel commented on my HONESTY when I spoke to him about my decision to leave Perth and return to Penang; I was very touched that he commented on my honesty, because in questioning me he saw that I had no hidden agendas.

You know, as a firm believer in the God of Jesus Christ, as the Bible mentions, ‘if we come close to God, God draws Himself close to us’. And this is so so so true! Getting back to Penang, I just tried my luck with seeking a job in Penang that may have some of my vision and mission in life. Since, I am a Permanent Resident of Australia, I did planed of returning to Australia but told myself to try out Penang; give Malaysia a chance, since people have encouraged me to serve Malaysia. I was so happy when I heard of Sri Pelita and started to apply; I came to know after my first interview that my dad and aunt knew Yoke Chee (the CEO/founder) from their Intel days.

I am happy here at Sri Pelita and looking forward to hopefully be a positive influence to the lives of many. No doubt this school is small and growing, but I can feel that the heart of this school has SINCERITY for the lives of the young. For me the passion of the teachers here at Sri Pelita, is what makes this school unique on its own. The Principal and CEO, seems to be dedicated too and thus I am even happier to be here.

Before leaving Perth I made a promise to God to live for Him totally in the Private Vows of Poverty, Chastity and Obedience in total dedication to Mary, Mother of God. With the help of Grace, I hope to remain faithful to these vows until the time comes when God should direct me other wise. Returning to Penang, also marked the occasion where my good friends questioned the way of my life and the need of me to dress in a brown habit. Anyway, it was a reality I have considered that once I leave the safety of the Franciscan Friary I will have no safe place to practice my Franciscan way of life without being questioned and, even maybe ridiculed. It was a risk I decided to take as I remain obedient to the Vocation in this one life I am blessed with.

Also, something I kept missing to share is when I returned to Penang my dad was offered a job to go to China for some factory projects; so dad has been travelling to china for 3 weeks on each month. Thus, being home I can help mum to watch over the house and the daily chores. It is again so true that God’s ways are never our ways.

The year 2012, will be a year that requires much growth on my part as I retune my mind to the Malaysian system and working within a non-catholic environment. A few days ago, I was at Tesco and I saw a young man with a terrible face disease; he had no nose and there were strange growth across his nose area. I just told myself, why rush for ‘more money, more good things, better pay’ when there are others suffering? I looked at myself and told myself, “I have no deformities and I have a good family and a job. Let me be grateful!”

My hope for 2012 is simply to be a good Christian witness where ever I am, to respect others and to love one another. Like many, I too am not perfect. I hope I will be able to be of help to others, as they do the same to me.

May there too be peace throughout the world.

Happy 2012!

Next Comes New Year

2011-12-27T19:52:00.001+10:00

With the recent major Christmas celebration over, now I and I am sure many more of us too, are looking forward to the new year 2012. I must say I did had both a good and bad time; good because I managed to get presents for a few selected friends, I had Christmas food, and bad because I did have an arguement. Overall, I had a good time!

Celebrations mark our lives, celebrations remind us of the importance of community life. Immagine a life time without celebrations? I guess without any celebrations my life will be very dull and very lonely. There will be no colour, no food, no decorations, no floral arrangements, no gathering of people (community), no music, no designer clothing, no ornaments worn by women, no watches...There will be NO SO MANY THINGS! What a life then it will be for me?

For me the major challenge during festivities such as Christmas, New Year and Chinese New Year is for family members to get together. In Asia, as well as in Australia, internal family issues seem to split family members. You will be surprise that if you look into families there are scars present; brothers and sisters not speaking to each other because of conflict of interest, parents against their children's lifestyle, family law suits. Oh the horrible list goes on!

Whether I like it or not, I must say I myself am part of the problem too. If we look into our own family, and if there is an on going problem within the family, it is not only because of the others BUT most of the time it is also my fault; each of us play a role in the cycle of problems, whether we like it or not. Sadly, being human it is always so easy for our first step to be blaming the other person. No doubt by all means the other person can be in the wrong because of his/her attitude, but let us remember sometimes that person reacts that way because of us- because of me.

So, the solution to this problem within family and friendships is that all parties must find the humility to improve on the situation; all parties must examine the way they think, react (communication- speak and listen) and solve issues. If we continue to only point our finger to the other person, then nothing gets solved. Remember if my finger remains pointing to the other person, that person will be also pointing his/her finger at me and nothing gets resolved; no person is thinking, no one is communicating and no one is reconciled.

Thus, celebrations can also mark a time when members of our family and members of the society are reminded of their biggest enemies in life; not the devil, but by our human enemies. I remembered that during major celebrations like a wedding, the couple will prepare on whom to invite to the wedding dinner. How often are our ex-partners left out? How often are those who may have harmed us not remembered in the list? During festivities like Christmas and the coming Chinese New Year, don't we also marked out those we don't seem to 'get along'?

The story here is, all of us have a role to play when things go wrong in a relationship. To be honest, I don't like this fact that I too have a role to play. Sadly, if we study on a 'scar' we may be carrying in life, most often we do see our role in creating that scar too; maybe we have not communicated well, perhaps we have been unjust, our attitudes are not correct? Sadly, like me, so many of us chose the easy way of sweeping everything under the thick carpet::((

Like you I myself hate to "BLAME MYSELF" when a relationship/situations turns sour...worst still if it turns bad. So, as New Year 2012 comes, my hope is I have the courage not only to be resolved to do better outwardly in life during 2012, but more importantly too I hope to improve my internal life.

I hope that is also your wish this coming 2012!

God Bless 2012!

The Old for the Elderly? The New for the Young?

2011-12-14T18:40:00.001+10:00

"Do not worry about what is happening around you;

looking too much into matters will pull us down, away from God.

Support each other."

-Sermon of a Priest

For the past few days I struggled to rise for Morning Prayer and Meditation, the reason being I was busy for a number of evenings that led me to sleep past 10pm. Today, finally I managed to rise at 5.20am to get ready for my daily morning practices. It does make a lot of difference starting the day early facing God!

I have been seaching for a simple non-label sandals for some weeks now. Today, I had a day off and managed to make myself get into old Georgetown. I was at Cambell Street, as I knew there are a few old shoe shops around. Being Georgetown, the morning was filled with cars on that narrow street. Worst still here I was reversing to park my dad's car and here comes an idiot who zoomed into my lot! I had already went about 3 big rounds to find this one stop, and a man had to illegally take my car lot; how rude. Malaysians please be more matured in your manners- stop thinking only about yourself.

Finally giving up searching for a car park lot, I parked my car at 1st Avenue Mall and had a good walk towards old Georgetown. It is wonderful to have such occasions, where I can just take a stroll and look at the old shops of Penang.

As I head to the street where about 2 shoe shops are located, I soon came across one shop called KEAN HIN Shoe Shop. As I stepped into the shop, it was really the originally shops of our grandparents' time; wall boards with holes, shoes on display behind glass windows, shoes displayed hanging on walls, the smell of chemical from the shoes and of cause the sales person was the owner himself. The owner was a man in his late 60's to early 70's, and must say a very relaxed man; he was just sitting chatting with another friend of his when I walked into the store. But, i must say his service was TOP NOTCH! A very sincere man, who immediately said I need a monk's-type of shoe. Yes, that was what I wanted a simple and easy pair of sandals. Wow! This man immediately knew my taste without me wasting my time looking and searching, compared to all those young sales person in the malls! Maybe the way I dressed, with my brown habit and my cross, he knew what I was looking for?

The box of shoe was tied with strings- really old fashion but so meaningful! Compared to the shopping malls where sandals will cost at least RM$150, I only paid mine for RM$69; better still the man had to see my RM$50 notes in the sunlight, again reminded me of the old days where people were afraid of fake RM$50 notes!

Happy with my new pair of sandals, I walked towards 1st Avenue and on my way I made a point to enter Ng Kee Cake Shop at Cintra Street. Again it was an old simple looking shop within a shoplot in old Georgetown. This cake shop is well known for their speciality in wedding biscuits; mung bean and black bean paste filled biscuits with a red chop on the biscuit. I bought one each of the 2 flavours and 6 egg tarts. They are also good for their coconut tarts, but did not buy them this time. The wedding biscuits are sold at RM$1.50 each, while the egg tarts are RM$1.30 each.

I guess this morning's sermon by the Priest was relevant to me. I had guts to believe in myself, and I had guts to enter an old shop meant, perhaps, for adults/old people or the really old-fashioned people? I had guts to go against the majority that thinks that, 'old shops are for old people and new shops are for the new generation(young)'.

I must say the majority are wrong. Today, I managed to save time, save money and save my dignity by remaining faithful to my Franciscan Vows.

Blessed Christmas and Happy 2012!

2011-12-12T11:05:00.010+10:00

In the beginning the Word already existed; the Word was with God, and the Word was God.

The Word was in the world, and though God made the world through him, yet the world did not recognize him.

He came to his own country, but his own people did not receive him.

John 1: 1, 10-11

(From the Gospel for Christmas Mass)

Dear Rev Fathers, Franciscans of the Immaculate (WA, and especilly my dear brothers in Toodyay), Rev Brothers, Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

It used to be my tradition, a tradition since my high school days, to send out Christmas messages and cards before the 1st Sunday of Advent. Sooner or later, I got to know that it is within the Franciscan Spirit to observe Advent with added penance and prayer; so you see the connection. St Francis of Assisi was a lover of the Christmas Crib, he saw the Mystery of the Incarnation- the Love of God becoming flesh. For some years now I have not been practicing this good virtue, of giving a friendly message to people.

Through my many years of serving the people in Australia, the youths in particular, I noticed a sense of wanting to "BELONG". Being a servant to the youths, I did not take sides and my duty was to share the message of God. Very often youths tend to mix the whole idea of religion with belonging, turning it into a group of liked minded people. Sad to say, this is the wrong way. The sense of community life is the fruit of a people coming to worship; never the other way round. Coming back to Malaysia, seeing the 'vibrancy' of the community life, it is a story about 'politics'. Again this is wrong, let us remember that in a Church, the Church is built on Christ, and all of us serving within the parish community are servants to one another. Our service to others in the parish community is a service that gives life, not a service that takes life away.

To parents, my encouragement is that of Pope Benedict's message when he visited Africa recently. Pope Benedict told children/youths to pray and to "teach their parents to pray", he added that eventhough when it is challenging children/youths must persevere. How true! Throughout my years, I have always sense a dividing gap between this generation and the generation of the past, in particular my parent's generation. Parents listen to your children when they invite you for prayer, if they don't do this, then perhaps as a parent you should do like wise.

For all of us, we are fortunate in this 21st century to be living in a comfortable life- life aided by various technologies. For me, particularly having the Franciscan Spirit, I enjoy simplicity, but I do see the goodness that Ipad, I-phone...Can do for us. In fact I do hope to own one someday!:::))) But the message is that of John's Gospel, let us not allow this passing world turn us into forgetting who Jesus Christ is. Let us not allow ourselves to be drowned by this passing world, that we miss out on the real reality of life; for a Christian the reality is about CHARITY.

I take this opportunity to wish each of us, believers and non-believers, a Christmas filled with Charity, filled with the Love of God. Remember we are all merely instruments in the hands of God, yes we have our sinful nature, but never give up the good living! Love God and Love Our Neighbors with the highest love possible, and there we shall make a difference not particular to the world, but to individuals. More importantly let us all assist one another, especially our 'enemies', to live a life that is a reflection of God.

Have a Blessed Christmas and a Fruitful 2012!

In the words of Blessed Mother Teresa of Calcutta: "WE DO NOTHING. He does everything. All glory must be returned to Him. God has not called me to be successful. He has called me to be faithful."

In Christ, St Francis and St Clare,

Kenneth Mary Gan of Our Mother of Perpectual Help

"LORD MAKE ME AN INSTRUMENT" - St Francis

It is a Whole New World

2011-12-02T09:50:00.003+10:00

Since all these things will be destroyed in this way,

what kind of people should you be?

Your lives should be holy and dedicated to God, as you wait

for the Day of God and do your best to make it come soon -

the Day when the heavens will burn up and be destroyed,

and the heavenly bodies will be melted by the heat.

2 Peter 3:11 - 12

2nd Sunday of Advent

This Christmas I decided on a new version of the Christmas tree decoration. Instead of using the traditional green tree, fake one of cause, I used bamboo sticks this time; bamboo, with Christmas boobles, birds, green garlands. And I guess my idea of this new version of the Christmas tree does coincide with the 2nd Reading for the 2nd Sunday of Advent. I decided not to make use of the Gospel in my sharing this time, because the Gospel is mainly about the family tree of Jesus; tracing Jesus back to Abraham.

Anyway don't all of us dream of A WHOLE NEW WORLD? Aladdin had a song, 'The Whole New World'. I think the late Michael Jackson also sang a song about, 'Better World'.

To date I have yet to come across any person who does not hope for a, "Better..." something; better job, better environment, better Malaysian policy, better political solutions...

To me a better world, the new creation spoken of in the Bible, is about a world yet unseen; as Scripture says, the world waits for the day when a new creation will be given birth. The new creation expected for is like a child birth experienced by women. To me I must say, I have yet to thrist for this better world; wheather that better something is here in this world or in the next to come. To me the new creation is within me - this new creation, or the hope for a 'better something', is not about what I can/should force on others nor even to force onto myself. The hope I have is spontaneous - I strive to practice my hope in a way that my hope is giving life to others.

It is sad when we see Muslims figthing the so called, 'Jihad'. To see nations figthing against another; China and Tibet, Eygpt, Syria...Sad, to see how some people rush after a 'better' paid job while losing their health, family well-being and stepping over other along the way. The hope we have for a better world must be life giving, not DEATH CREATING. Any hope for a better world, that is brought about by killing others (directly or indirectly), or forcing others to adopt a particular ideology/understanding is never a "better' world.

As Bro Roger of the Taize Community said, all humanity has the right to seek God and no single person has the complete answer. Such a true statement given by a man of prayer. Don't we each seek God, seek goodness?

In all our seeking for a better world I realized that each person has a different way; a different view, a different understanding. Yes, this can make life suck! But, as Christians we need to remember the call to Charity. Let us work hard to respect and accept each other in love.

Perhaps, this is my solution for the 2nd Sunday of Advent. In the differences we face each day, I pray for more patience and a renewed Charity.

Dear To Me, But Maybe Different For You.

2011-11-26T12:54:00.001+10:00

1st Sunday of Advent

Gospel from Mark 13: 33-37

Verse 34 of the Gospel captures me, it says, ' If will be like a man who goes away from home on a trip and leaves his servants in charge, after giving to each one his own work to do and after telling the doorkeeper to keep watch'.

I always thought that adults were the wisest of all people, compared to youths or young adults. Sadly, I found that this is not true. Since coming back to Malaysia, I have come across foolish adults; I have seen adults who continued in their mistakes even after being told by their leaders, now that person ahs been saked! I have always listened attentively to adults' advice of living life respectfully; they will say things like be good, earn lots of money. When topics on religion arises, adults tend to take the path of compromise; in Malaysia the common advice on religion is to live well, do your religious duties once a while (a Sunday, for a Catholic) and be good.

Good advice! But in real life sadly these people have not proven that the advice are Truth, the truth with a capital 'T".

Very often people tend to compromise their beliefs when it comes to situation that may be harmful to the practitioner. Or, that the practitioner will be on the losing side if he/she should hold on to her understanding of life.

For me, I think Advent is a good time to sit back and rethink about what we hold dear to life. For me, I hold very dearly to God, and deeply, I find it so hard to compromise my understanding of life; I always go all out to advise or help others. I hold on to the 'pearl fo great price', because losing this 'pearl' is much worst then losing living in imitation of secular values (shop till you drop at Christmas time?:).

Thus Advent is a great time, a correct time to give each of us that sacred space to reflect on what we hold dear in life, and once we found that which is dear to us, to hold on to that sacred personal Truth. This is a Virtue we call Integrity and Sincerity, even perhaps Perseverance...

I wish each of us a good moment in Advent, and my this sacred time of Advent be beneficial to all of us.

Losing My Bearing

2011-11-19T12:56:00.002+10:00

Christ the King

Gospel from Matthew 25: 31-46

As the Church celebrates the Feast of Christ the King, it marks another year in the life of my faith; I supposed this must be the reality for all Roman Catholics. Feast of Christ the Soverign King, is a feast celebrated at the beginning of another Liturgical Year and the mark to the coming of Advent, in preparation for Christmas. This feast began by Pope Pius in 1925 in response to the rise in secularism and nationalism, is still a very appropriate feast to be celebrated in the 21st century.

What does this personally means to me as an individual today?

Last week was a week marked by an internal struggle within me. About a weeek ago an individual used my name to justify the need not to do certain tasks; that particular individual made use of my name without my knowledge. Adding on top of this, that individual broke a promise made to car pool one Friday evening. And again this week, I found out that lies were told about certain facts.

Indeed I did get upset and bitter: I showed my frustrations. I realised it is never easy to hold on to our kind nature - no matter how hard I try, with the help of prayer, I ultimately do fall.

Thus, the Feast of Christ the King is a feast that challenges me to look at my bearing in life. I thank God that no matter how imperfect I am, I am grateful that each moment I fall I have always decided to battle on with my Catholic life. No matter how imperfect I am, I decided that I will pick myself up, pray again and with the help of God to continue my journey towards Christian Perfection.

And this is life, our surroundings may never be a bed of roses to our opinions or way of life. But, it never means we should give up the good fight asked for by the Gospel; cloth the naked, feed the poor, visit the imprison...Jesus says, if we do any of these acts to others, we do it for Him.

White Coffee Packaging and Me

2011-11-13T13:24:00.005+10:00

For to every person who has something, even more will be given, and he will have more than enough; but the person who has nothing, even the little that he has will be taken away from him.

As for this useless servant - throw him outside in the darkness; there he will cry and gnash his teeth.'

33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time Gospel from

Matthew 25: 14-30

LaoQiun Instant White Coffee (Manufactured in Melaka)

I decided to take sometime off yesterday to go down to Macalister Road, in town, to get some biscuits from Ban Heang. This shop also sells local Malaysian products from biscuits, sweets, pastries and white coffee powder. It is only my second time at this shop since returning from Australia, and must admit the biscuits and products are rather encouraging; they are nice, but still cannot beat Ghee Hiang and Him Heang.

So today after Church, I decided to give the new white coffee I bought yesterday a try. On the outside the packaging looks very nice and excellent; smooth water proff packaging, nice story about the product on the back and good design. Opening the package, I look inside and each white coffee powder were packaged in a long golden wrapper; they look like I was opening into a bag of gold! Today, most products in the market come in excellent packaging, and yes consumers like me and you, end up paying the higher price.

As I touched the packet of coffee powder, I asked myself how do I see myself?

Today's Gospel is again another interesting one, calling us to be ready when the Lord comes; the 2nd coming of Jesus. Today the parable of Jesus from Matthew is about 3 servants; 2 good servants who produced more from what was given by the Master, and 1 lazy servant who produced nothing from the little he was given. The Gospel reminds me of employers, the Master in the Gospel is said to be a "hard man" and the servant who produced nothing did so out of "fear" of the Master; this lazy servant buried what he was given.

Throughout my life, I have come across many people - people of various personalities, weaknesses, strengths, background. Yet, when I sit and reflect I admire the beauty I see in each person. It is amazing because when you sit, you will see that each is given a GIFT from God; each person has his/her unique gift. As the Gospel today mentions, "He gave to each one according to his ABILITY." In lay man's term we say that this divine gift as the person's abilities. It is strange because even the greatest sinner I come across, has a positive ability; true, but can be hard to digest.

I am sure any employee has a certain degree of fear of the employer; we show respect to our boss and strive to meet the boss' demands.

The Gospel here ask of us, for a different fear - the Gospel speaks of a Holy Fear, a matured fear. Each of us do desire heaven, we desire peace, we desire success...Name it all, but at the end of it all we want a piece of heaven. I realized that heaven is not only about the invisible, but also the visible.

What am I doing today that reflects my hope of heaven?

Looking at today's circumstances whereby everything we buy does come in excellent packaging, I wonder if humanity is still able to see its true self. I am lucky the LaoQian instant white coffee I bought does reflect the good packaging; the coffee turned up creamy and delicious. But, I realized my life is no packaging. I may try to justify and do all sorts of method to 'glorify' my visible self. The hard thing here is no one, till today, I find no one who can manage to cover up their inner secrets. Even I myself, cannot hide my good and bad inner self.

The desire of heaven, or the preparation for the 2nd Coming is not about doom's day. It is not only about stars falling from the sky, the earth opening up. Every obstable I face, I see it as a 2nd Coming, as an oppurtunity to face that obstacle and if I face that obstacle wrongly - at least I learnt a bit about the reality of salvation. Yes, any obstacles is an occasion for fear. This is an undeniable fact! I too, when obstacles are coming the first thing I tend to invite is fear and doubt; I start moving back rather than forward. This is a human weakness - a sad fact that the needs of the flesh always tend to dominate the Spirit.

So, for me the preparation for heaven is about me; how do I see myself? When I look into the mirror who do I see? If I claim to be a person of God, can I see at least a bit of God in my appearance? When I look at myself in the mirror, yes I see Bro Kenneth Gan - a bald handsome young man, perhaps a pimple or two around the cheek, some unshaven hair on the chin...When I look into the mirror I also see a young man striving to serve God, to be obedient to His Will by being a good neighbour to others.

This I hope will be your desire too as you look into the mirror today. Let us work hard to remove all our outer packaging, because let us remember we can never hide our inner self from anyone; as the Bible says, 'anything hidden in the dark will be brought out into broad day light'.

Have a good week ahead, together let us be God's Holy instruments...Do try LaoQian Instant White Coffee!

Jesus Is Good at Division Mathematics

2011-11-06T00:52:00.002+10:00

"Five of them were foolish, and the other five were wise."

And Jesus concluded,"

"Watch out, then, because you do not know the day or the hour."

MATTHEW 25: 2, 13

Gospel of the 32nd Sunday in Ordinary Time

10 divided by 2, is a perfect 5! When I read this Gospel where Jesus spoke about the 10 young women, who were waiting for the arrival of the bridegroom, where he then separated the young women into 2 groups with a perfect 5 young women in each group, the idea of PERFECTION came into my mind.

These young women were waiting in the dark with lighted oil lamps, which mean that since neither of them knew the time for the arrival of the groom, it was only wise to have an ample supply of oil on hand. Sadly, there were 5 young women who were ignorant of this reality; they believed their lamps will last to the time of the groom’s arrival.

I do very often procrastinate, in doing my daily chores at times I do it lightly. To me chores are not very urgent and are not death and life events that require a 100% effort. Very often I tend to do household chores half way through; I do half of the steps and leave the other half to be finished later in the day. But, when it comes to matters concerning the Faith I tend to do it with all my effort. Matters of Faith concern my eternal destiny, and must be done as best as I can.

To be honest, this is no good!

I will need to also do my daily chores well, as well as perform matters of Faith whole heartedly. Very often I see around me, that many people are the total opposite to my case, many people tend to do their daily household chores with extra care. But, sadly, when it comes to matters of Faith many people tend to put Faith on hold and very often due to procrastination they end up not performing their spiritual duties. Maybe this is the reason why so many people enjoy gossiping and bragging about their life style, shopping, cheap sales...

As a Franciscan, I am called to a radical Gospel simplicity of life. Today, I was at Parkson and mum wanted to donate me a pair of expensive sandals. I declined as the material used for the sandals were of expensive quality and the design too tasteful. According to the Franciscan tradition, as a Franciscan I am not to make use to even perfumed soaps, thus what more a branded expensive sandals. Hopefully, I can find good but simple sandals soon.

The question in this week's Gospel is about us, “what am I doing with matters concerning our great feast in Heaven?” The Gospel passage about the bridegroom’s feast, is a message about the reality of Heaven. Do I want to be part of the great feast in heaven?

It will be foolish for me to have:

Only a lighted oil lamp; faith alone is not enough, good works alone too is not enough, but faith with good works is needed.
Only oil for the lamp but without a lamp; again Faith alone is not good and good works alone is also not good.

As Christians we have a personal responsibility of learning the path of salvation. Let us remember that we need BOTH the FAITH and GOOD WORKS, if we so desire the great feast promised by Jesus the bridegroom.

Facing the Facts and Assisting

2011-10-30T19:39:00.005+10:00

'So you must obey and follow everything they tell you to do; do not, however, imitate their action because they don't practice what they preach..., yet they aren't willing even to lift a finger to help them carry those loads.'

Matthew 23: 3-4

Gospel for the 31st Sunday in Ordinary Time:
Matthew 23: 1-12

I was just a little amazed that the priest's sermon this morning touched on what I shared at Vespers yesterday evening; I and the priest shared about the fact that the Gospel message applies very well also to the laities (non-religious/priest members of the church).

Anyway, I fell that the 'condemnation' that Jesus placed to the teachers of the Law was rather harsh. I remembered as a young man, I was naive (perhaps I still am), I believed it was my duty to live as a Christian and correct those who opposed me; this used to be because I was mishandled by the religious.

But, coming to really think of it, who among us like to be deeply/harshly corrected? Even, when I am wrong in the eyes of others, but right in my own eyes, I will not resort to change my plans, my ways. When I read the life successes of some Christian religious leaders, I wonder were they right to be persistent in their views? For example, St Fransis of Assisi, he persisted in the need for priests and religious during his time who were having mistresses and wealth of the need of holy poverty. Mother Teresa saw a need to assist the living poor in India, even when such idea was opposed by the Indian Authorities. Mahamat Ghandi was another great father figure. Yet, these men and women of history, managed to make their ideals come true.

Perhaps, the question is, "when do we accept the correction of others and change our ways?" And, "when do we persist in the way we have decided on, despite the correction given?"

Maybe the answer lies in what the Gospel commands of me, "to listen and obey all" that are taught to me by those in authority and have the discernment of spirit not to "imitate their actions". I remembered when I was in high school working very closely with the late Bro Ulrick, I just carried out my duties prayerfully without worrying what others may think of me; it was hard for Bro Ulrick because his mission work was often labelled as controversial. But, I bet Bro Ulrick's work did gvie life to others in little ways.

The other thing that stood out for me from today's Gospel message is the need for each of us, especially in regards to the Catholic Community, to offer each other a sincere helping hand. Jesus condemned the Teachers of the Law of His time, for not offering help to their fellow Jews. This is another human weakness I have seen, where so often people are quick to correct, to gossip or order others, but so few are willing to actually assist in helping the person corrected to improve. This is a reality hard also for me to keep up with.

As the month of Oct comes to a close, so does the Month of the Rosary. It is always so comforting to end the month of the Rosary and go into All Saints and All Souls Day (1st and 2nd Nov). My mum and I went to the graves today with candles and flowers, and I am happy to see other families and individuals visiting the graves of their dearly departed. Just reminds me of how the living and the dead are connected, perhaps emotionally and in the mind, but as Christians this is our believe - the COMMUNION of SAINTS.

Catholic Church vs Acts Church KL (http://www.theactschurch.org)

2011-10-28T10:46:00.004+10:00

Rev Kenneth Chin - Founder and Preacher of Acts Church KL

A large crowd of people was there from all over Judea and from Jerusalem and from the coast cities of Tyre and Sidon; they had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those who were troubled by evil spirits also came and were healed.

Luke 6: 17b-18

I spent a couple of hours at MPH, Gurney Plaza yesterday afternoon, together with a friend. On a shelf I came across a religious-inspirational book called CHIN UP by Kenneth Chin; a rather attractive book, with the title dominating the book, and a handsome man on the red cover. I read the details on the cover, and I must say I give the publisher my thumbs-up because it made me read the book. But to buy it at RM34.90 I had to think alot, because I do not really depend on inspirational books; I believe everyone of us, have a story to tell, and must not allow such books to take control of our unique destiny.

His journey of discovering God, and by this I mean to really experience and have a real knowledge of God, reminded me a bit of myself. I do admit, over the many years I have seen people who have similar situations in life; we group people into subject groups. I have seen people with similar life experiences as me (many have come across Vocation stories), and also I have seen experiences that are different to me but similar to others; vice versa.

The amazing thing with humanity is that how we make use of those experiences and GROW from that experiences...This is a totally UNIQUE STORY. This I have yet to find any similarity.

Some people's life experiences have led them to intentional death (suicide). Others have had their life experiences make them give up hope. While others have had their life experiences make them eager to make their dreams come true. Kenneth Chin's book, says that there are 2 ways Kenneth Chin can make a mistake- to make the mistake by doing what God demands or to make a mistake by the way of the world; if we come to think of it, a mistake is a mistake afterall, but where do we chose to make that mistake is the difference. Kenneth Chin chose the way of God to make his mistakes.

I always knew God was calling me to a life as a religious, this call was heard extra clearly because of my close work and praying with the late Bro Ulrick Currie of SXI. Sadly, with our generation, we are in the midst of change; missions school in Malaysia are closing down, SXI was the last. So one Brother did discourage me and many Sisters (whose missions have also closed down) did encourage me to fear first. Thank God, I decided to walk the path of God, to make my mistakes. Has my journey end? NO! A Spiritual Life is not like an economy life, or business life, it is a life of constant trusting and surrendering of one's self. Do I have any regrets? NO! I have yet to feel any pain from my spiritual journey.

From what I gathered from the book, Kenneth Chin used to be a Roman Catholic, but now seems to have founded his own 'church' (sorry, I do not believe in non-denominational church).

What I am getting at is for Catholics. Yes, we Catholics, believe it or not, are more of the brainers in the Christian world; we have theology, philosophers, we were the ones that came up with law (thus lawyers), we came up with school systems, hospitals. Catholics are the thinkers of society, or perhaps, used to be thinkers of soceity; not so much today.

Have we lost that shine? I must say, yes and also no. We may have lost that determination to think and put that thinking into action. This is through a culture of unbelieve. Coming back to Malaysia, away from committed Catholics in Australia, I am surrounded by Catholics who has turned their faith into a matter of convenience. Is this good? It is no good, based from my life experiences, but it is not for me to judge as I always believe I need to respect the ways of others.

Something I agree with Kenneth Chin's Church is we need to remain faithful to God! Obey the command, or God's calling for us, and act on those calling. Trust in God's Call for you today! Have courage to make God's Dream for you come true, for the benefit of souls.

Easy to Say, Terribly Hard to Perform

2011-10-22T22:10:00.001+10:00

Jesus answered, "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.'...'Love your neighbor as you love yourself.'

Matthew 22: 37, 39

30th Sunday in Ordinary Time

So, true that some writers and thinkers comment that humans are 'creatures of habit'. Though at times I find it discomforting to accept this comment, it is no doubt so true. I see myself enjoying the tiny particulars of the day, which at times I must say is unimportant; things like after a hard daily work I must rest for half an hour, or each evening I must take a stroll without fail.

Last week I saw myself going out of my comfort area, and finding the courage to make bread! I made red bean paste buns, which in fact turned out good! I was in fact, surprised that my first round of bread making went well.

The Gospel this Sunday will be another challenge to go out from my comfort area. Through my daily contact with people, I noticed that the reality of this Gospel is only in mere words, not in concrete actions. Sad to say, so often I realise that the advice given to others, the judgement thrown at others and peoples' personal actions, most often does not match to the Gospel calling us to "Love God and to Love Others".

Yet, we so often hear politicians and ordinary human being calling us to "peace", "unity" and "progress".

Today, in the papers I read on a toddler in China who was invovled in an accident in a market street in China; she died 1 week after the accident. The Chinese, through the street footage, showed that the little girl was knocked down by a van, rolled over twice, and left on the street without any passer-by calling for help.

The situation in Lidya, how the bodies of Gaddafi and his son are now on 'public display'. Worst still, there are news that they were deliberately executed.

I do think a lot, why people can be so unloving? Unforgiving? At the same time, who am I to judge these people. The sad fact, being human we are creatures of habit- I realized not many people like to be corrected- thus, no matter how much we talk about loving God and loving others, maybe the best way is to put that loving into practical daily actions. Sometimes, I get blamed for being religious, non believers comment that, "I am a dreamer". But, aren't we all dreamers? We dream for a loving society, peaceful nation, more money, we dream of a loving family.

Dreams come true when we put those dream into concrete actions.

I hope that on my part, I can be a person of Love; Love God and Love my neighbors. We never know if we leave our comfort zones, and go into the not so comfortable - making extra effort to Love God and Love Others- the turnout may be pretty amazing!

I am now enjoying my red bean paste buns!

Giving More to the Emporer, Less to God?

2011-10-16T14:26:00.006+10:00

So Jesus said to them,

"Well, then, pay to the Emporer what belongs to the Emporer, and pay to God what belongs to God."

Matthew 22: 21

As a lay Franciscan Religious, I am already feeling the effects of the above; I have been having temptations to give more to the 'emporer' and, perhaps, a little less to God. As a lay religious, alone out in the open, surrounded by various modern technologies and shops, and cafes, and TV. I must say 1 out of the 7 days a week, I try to compromise with the prayers I need to say. According to my set schedule, I have to be up by 5.20am to start my Rosary, followed by morning meditation and then Lauds. One day a week, I then now try to relax and maybe wake at 5.30am or, worst still, at 6am!

I am sure this is the case with many of us. When we know we should be making good use of the time given to us- wheather be it for prayer, family, exercise, spending quality time with friends/relative- we end up finding personal excuses to not do those important things well, or to do those important duties, but do it louzily.

Personally, I feel this tendency is due to the many distractions that we are so 'lucky' to have around us. When I was living as a community we never had any distractions around us. Our Friary was completely bare- every furniture was made of the same kind and color of wood, table utensils were all simply plain without any designs, floor was wood/plain tiles, no TV, no computer, no telephone, my cell was just a plain table, chair and bed. When this was reality to me, it was so easy to place God and one another first; I served with complete sincerity without even a small tendency of prejudice/judgement.

If only it were so easy, here out in the world, to be able to easily 'give to the emporer what belongs to the emporer and to God what belongs to God', life may be a little more heaven-like. Perhaps, this is what many of us will call a 'silly dream'? Looking at the international news of so many recent wars and riots, I will rather have a 'silly dream' rather than to ruin my life, and perhaps the life of others, because of pride and greed.

To live in the greatest reality, that is in discovering the Eternal God, this is never impossible in the society we live in. But, yes the journey to discover God will be a very hard and painful one. Thus have courage and persevere. God, is a word that differs in meaning and in depth for each individual; to some God is Divine, to other God is Peace, God is Love, God is Friendship, God is Simplicity. Discovering God is possible if we are willing to be discipline in setting aside each day for silent prayer.

Holiness must never be the only requirement for religious, every Catholic are called to be a faithful witnesses for God. Each of us are called to have the aim of becoming great saints.

I pray today, and as always, "for the grace and means to do the Holy Will of God".

"Where is God? Where is God? Where is God?"

2011-10-12T23:27:00.001+10:00

I am reading a book called the 'Life of Pi', written by YANN MARTEL. Just started reading this borrowed book, at chapter 8 now. A rather interesting book, as it is written in a gentle tone- so I use this book as my comfort book, reading for relaxation.

"Where is God? Where is God? Where is God", asked an agnostic who doubts the existance of God. In Australia among the church members I always hear, very often, the words 'agnostic', 'atheistism', and some other -nostic words. I must say I have no interest in the real meaning of those words, because so often these people use these words to correct others and judge others.

But this is a very relevant question, "WHERE is GOD?"

In the past I have been judge for my belief in God, people ask me why believe in God? "It is not God who heals me, but medicine", says some. "I work hard and I get paid (money), not that God provides", says others. I must admit at those moments I have surrendered explaining, perhaps I don't even bother correcting my questioners because such people are only interested in arguing about there is "NO God".

Personally, I feel sad for such people who only finds God in 'money', 'success', 'health', 'stability'...I feel life is either pretty dule or life is just about the "I" word for such people who doubts the existance of God.

On the other hand, those who claim that they are 'good' Christians, I 'go' to Church every Sunday of the year, I 'pray' everyday...I must honestly admit, even the most active members of the Church do not have God in their lives! If God is all about 'church', 'prayer', 'being good'...This also will either mean a very authoritarian God, or perhaps, a God who has too boring a life that we have to end up doing all the 'praying', 'church going'...

For me God is so much more then health, sickness, prayfulness, joy, sadness, pain, comfort, church, non-church...The message for me as a person who knows that God is real, is to live a Christ-way of life, so that others know that I live in God (as in the Bible).

My message to those who doubt the existance of God, is to start moving on in life and if you doubt God, I advise that you take effort to examine the realness of God.

'To choose doubt as a philosophy of life

is akin to choosing immobility as a means of transportation.'

~From the 'Life of Pi'

Bread with butter, or, butter with bread?

2011-10-08T18:13:00.003+10:00

But Jesus answered,

"Rather, how happy are those who hear

the word of God and obey it!"

LUKE 11: 28

Today's Gospel reading was a short one, from Luke 11: 27-28. The impact of this short passage, I will say is rather strong. It reminded me how 'cold' Jesus can be towards his disciples, or the surrounding peoples at times. It reminded me of occasions where Jesus could harshly rebuke, and correct others. For example when he said to Peter, "Get behind me Satan!" Sometimes Jesus could be forceful, "I say to you, get up and walk", Jesus commanded the lame man at the temple. Jesus can be carried away at times too, I remember the Bible recording of Jesus placing mud made out of his spittle and rubbing it onto the eyes of a blind person.

I see today's Gospel as a challenge from Jesus to look beyond; see with a far sighted vision.

This morning I was with my mum at the market, I was in my brown habit as usual and here comes a lady from church. She came up to me and she started talking- talked to me about the fact that she was in church yesterday, and a Nuncio was there. She went on and on and on! Deep down in my heart, I was already so eager to say good-bye to that lady within less than a minute of our conversation.

Right after I said, good-bye to that lady and rushed off; so eager to leave her behind, I remembered of my reflection at prayer time. I recalled about Jesus challenging me to look with far-sigthed visions. Something I always regret is the fact that I fall into sin, so often I only hold on to the teachings of Jesus among people that I am 'comfortable with'. So often I noticed this struggle between being myself among those I regard as friends and also with those that I regard as 'not so much my friends'.

Sometimes it is wonderful to be able to see with a far-sigthed vision; it makes life much easier. When a person is able to see beyond situations, beyond the physical of others, beyond the limitations of others...Things can be a little more easier.

This afternoon I made bread buns filled with butter. I was thinking about the correct english for the kind of bread I made. Can I call it bread with butter, or butter with bread?

Perhaps, the lesson from today's Gospel is it does not make any real difference...Afterall, my butter was soaked up by the bun and onto the baking tray. It became BREAD SOAKED WITH BUTTER...Thus, when I meet others I hope I can see with a far-sigthed vision and say that the person is my brother, or sister.

Relativism

2011-10-04T16:18:00.001+10:00

Today, I spent sometime learning the English word RELATIVISM. According to the Oxford Dictionary, relativism means, 'Doctrine that knowledge is relative, not absolute'. I started this pondering because Pope Benedict 16 has used the word "relativism" on many occations during his apostolic trips. To define the word 'relativism' in the light of Faith, this I am not really capable of doing.

But what I will say is, when the Pope comments that the lack of respect, or the lack of the practice of religion, is due to the attitude of relativism. I am sure he means that, we live in the midst of a society struggling to find its place in creation- we are living in a society that oftens gets trap by the idea that "anything goes", "any method is fine", "all religion are 'equally' the same" and "any way of life is good". As society progresses, I see that many make progress, but the sad fact is that areas in life that needs attention is often forgotten; sadly no progress are made in spiritual life, inner happiness, family life, virtues, religion.

Thus we are living in a time when many cannot fine their single foundation- our life's journey is no longer absolute, the assurance is lost, the single mindedness is gone.

For me, I do get trap each day in the idea and even perhaps in living this idea of 'knowledge is relative, NOT absolute'; I find ways and reasons to try to compromise my system of living. I find ways of taking the 'back lane' rather than taking the 'main road' in reaching my set purpose /goal in life. This is the sad fact in our human life, where so often we fall prey to the idea that 'everything is just as good as the other'.

Taking this side road, cheating in life of cause has its counsequences. I have seen friends not happy with work, people not able to find their bearing in life, marriage breakdown, people finding no value in religious practices, parents not speaking to their children, the sin of homosexuality, murder in abortion/contraception...

The sad fact is that if we continue living in the idea that there is no ONE SINGLE path to the Truth, is that the prophesy made by the late Blessed Pope John Paul 2 will come true. The teaching of the "CULTURE OF DEATH" will continue to spread in our midst.

If we are willing to embrace relativism, then I must suggest we must be also evermore willing to live with pain, death, losing the bearing in life, family breakdown...the culture of death!

Be the Change You Desire

2011-09-29T21:12:00.009+10:00

One La Salle Prayer

(La Salle Brothers of Phillipines District)

Let me be the change I want to see
to do with strength and wisdom all that needs to be done
and become the hope that I can be

Set me free from my fears and hesitations
Grant me courage and humility
Fill me with Spirit to face the challenge
and start the change I long to see

Today I start the change
I want to see Even if I am not the light
I can be the spark
In faith, service and communion
let us start the change we want to see
The change that begins in me

Live, Jesus, in our hearts FOREVER!

I always realized that it was, and never will be, an easy journey if I should continue wanting to live the way of life that Jesus has called me to. A life that is marked by a radical simplicity (evangelical poverty), obedience to God's will and chastity. A life marked by placing others first and myself placed last.

I see that the modern developed cities that so many of us live in, is not a perfect place to live a Christian way of living; it perhaps is not even a place for any religion. Majority of highly developed countries are facing a so called the effects of SECULARISM.

Sadly so many luke-warm Catholics are taking the effects of secularism as an excuse not to live a good and holy Christian life. For me, I don't place my living environment as an excuse for not living a God centred life, because God is more that what we have, than what we can build. God is not a thing we can discribe, modify, minimize....God is Eternal!

Thus, for me if God has called me, then my duty as God's servant is to carry out God's Will to the best of my ability. This is not easy, because this way of life means I will constantly be living in contrary to the 99% of other people.

Yet, I take courage because Jesus has told us also to be concern for the 1 lost sheep. Today, when our society is slowly losing the value it finds in simplicity, moderation, God and family. My visible witness as God's servant is ever more relevant!

Ignoring a Homeless Lady...Leaving the Church?

2011-09-23T12:11:00.016+10:00

The LORD came and stood there,

and called as he had before," Samuel! Samuel!"

Samuel answered,

"Speak; your servant is listening."

1 Samuel 3: 10

I decided to go round Georgetown yesterday afternoon, visited Little India alone. As I was strolling along the many colorful and noisy Indian stalls, I came along the stall selling the famous samosa; I guess it was made famous by the heritage club? Anyway, this time round I make an effort to actually buy and try it for myself. And it was good! Nothing fancy or spectacular about the samosa- it was just a simply, home-i, street food.

Then 2 'putu mayong' sellers caught my attention; they were selling this Indian sweet dessert on motor cycles. Again, I had to have them as these days they are no longer widely sold conveniently at Penang's markets. As I was waiting for my packet of 'putu mayong' a homeless woman came up to me, begging me for cash to "buy things". She was rather rugged looking, dirty clothes, thin, chinese of origin, going from people to people begging and she spoke hokkien. For the first time in my life, I had to ignore a homeless, helpless human being.

Each year I will walk the streets with donations (from Church members and my own little money) looking for homeless poor people. I will sit and actually listen to their stories, as I pass on to them a bag consisting of various food items, some cash and some Holy Pictures as holy reminders.

This time round, I told myself I have to ignore this homeless poor woman in town. I did feel disgusted with my action, but perhaps it is time to be a little self-centred; to start looking after myself. Perhaps, I am wrong in this action as Jesus said, if we give food, drink, visit those in prisons, we are in fact ministering to Jesus himself in the person of the poor-needy. But, that is life. Don't we sometimes treat our enemies, neighbours and those we work with, the same way? I have seen enough of human weakness in the many years I served the Church (the people); occasions of pride, self-fishness, insincerity...You name it.

Maybe it is time for me to learn such 'yakky' skills so common in our society?

Each time I return home, church members I meet on the street or in shops will come up to me and greet me. Some, will express to me their sadness to see that Malaysia too is facing a decreasing number of Priests and Religious. Some told me their husbands have left the church- no longer practicing their Catholic Faith.

For me, I cannot do anything. The best I can do is to live my life in accordance with the Gospel, and with the help of Grace, hopefully my life can touch the lives of others; let this happen in God's time.

To those who expressed to me their disappointments of the current Church, all I can say is, "DO NOT FORGET TO PRAY". With prayer comes grace, when we ask we receive, and when we knock the door opens for us. "Pray, pray, pray", was the advice given by the Virgin Mary. Because by praying we are aware of our needs and we have the humility to seek God.

Thus, my friends, it is never easy in life to be like Samuel. Never easy to respond in the way Samuel responded when God called him in his sleep. At times Samuel's response of "Speak; your servant is listening" may not reflect the reality we live in? We may perhaps allow God to speak to us, but to have the courage to perform according to what God has spoken is never easy; it requires a firm Faith, Hope and Charity, a deep life giving relationship with God. And Samuel was one that was dedicated to the service of God, Samuel was given to God by his mother while he was still a baby.

PS: Please remember to pray for Br Kenneth of the Cross' ordination on 1st Oct in Klang.

Church schedule vs the 'World's' schedule

2011-09-19T23:11:00.003+10:00

Waking each morning at 5.45am at the sound of the bell and a personal knock of " Ave Maria!" At the door marked the beginning of the day for us Franciscans. The Book of Customs advices that each brother will then have to wash the face with fragrantless soap and within a few minutes to enter the Chapel for prayer. We each begin our day with Prayer and end our day with Compline at 8.30pm.

A routine life, with much importance placed on manual work and more community prayer throughout the day; a life of virtue and sanctification. A kind of life I will love to live and die in.

Back in the real world the noise of the television, the extra use of the internet, the invitation to leave the house (to go out doors) and the ringing of the phone- all these are giving me a little phobia, as these are all unnecessary for our Salvation. We never had the luxury of television, personal computer/internet, phone in our religious houses. The life in the real world is about getting busy, busy to earn money for the self.

I already find it a struggle that if I should get back to work in the real world, I will have to work extra hard in finding time for prayer and in helping others. Sadly, in the Malaysian culture majority of professionals work full-time, while I am hoping to work part-time/casual so that I can have extra days in the week for prayer and church work.

It is a constant struggle between the flesh and the spiritual world in ones self. What will be my decision? At this moment I am still inclined to return to the Spiritual world- to work for God and for all God's people. But, the possibility of me being sent far far away from my homeland will be inevitable; to America and then to Italy. Who knows as a Missionary, which other countries will I be sent to?

Many of my friends and relatives cannot understand me. They wonder why I am not attracted to money, to fashion, to glamour. Many wonder why will I like helping others first, and not help my self first?

Only God can answer, because I find it foolish to lose myself in the world, as the Bible says, what gain is there for one that loses oneself for the world and not for God?

The Devil Exist

2011-09-16T10:31:00.002+10:00

Wriiten on 7th September 2011, during Morning Meditation at the Friary's Chapel.

Like so many ordinary everyday Catholics, I have been told about sin and the Devil (Satan). But, like so many of us, I did not fully realise that the Devil exist and can make use of us, or uses others, to draw us away from God. Until early this morning, having been woken from a religious dream, as I lay awake on bed, within a split second, God's grace made me realise how the Devil had used ordinary Catholics, priests and religious to draw me away from responding to God's Vocation. Both the dream and revelation were not in relation.

After that instant work of Grace, I now believe to my very bones that the Devil has been the one keeping me over the years from responding to my vocation. As I write this, I still feel the coldness running down my bones as Satan does not want me to spread this fact of his existance.

Catholics told me how Satan can use catholics, christians, priest and religious to bring us away from God. Unfortunately, like so many Catholics, I did not take this understanding of Satan to heart; though it is possible for Satan to do that, I thought, at the same time, that it cannot be true for Satan to make use of ordinary Catholics. Like so many people, I never realised that the Devil can be so cunning! I have read articles and sermons, on how the Devil works to bring down God's Kingdom by corrupting priests and religious; once again I knew this is possible, but never took this understanding of Satan to heart.

After the instant revelation this morning, I realized that the Devil had made use of the priests, religious and ordinary Catholics that I came in contact with over the years to prevent me from coming into the Loving presence of God; preventing me from responding to God's Call. At the very instant of God's Grace working in me this morning, I realized now why the Catholic Church constantly reminds us on the importance of Prayer, Penance, Mass and to have a relationship with Jesus.

For those of you who are reading this, my advice is the same as that given by Jesus in Scripture and taught by Mother Church. My advice is "BE ON GUARD", be on the watch, be observant. Like God who mysteriously uses us without us knowing, the unfortunate fact is the Devil too uses us unknowingly. But, as the Bible calls the Devil a "thief", the Devil makes use of the cracks and tiny bits of our loives to destroy the good that others has. The Devil makes use of our little doubts and our luke-warmness towards God to bring about great destruction of God's Chosen ones and of His church.

My dear people, if you are luke-warm , half-hearted, in your Catholic Faith then you do need to take extra care to arm yourself so that you will not be used by Satan to destroy your own Faith (foundation) and the Faith of others like you. Make efforts to clarify your doubts by reading good Catholic books and seeking good resources from good web-sites. Make sure you keep to your daily practices of Prayer, Rosary, the Sacraments, Scripture and the practice of Virtue. These are the basic weapons to prevent the work of the Devil in our lives. These weapons will see that Satan will perish and God's Love will reign victorious!

This day, God chose to reveal to me the foolishness of Satan. This day, God showed me some means that Satan uses to trap others and seeks to bring down the good God's Church is doing. Satan, today in the name of Jesus Christ, and through the intercession of St Michael, Satan you shall have no victory in my life!

'Teach me, LORD, what you want me to do,

and I will obey you faithfully;

teach me to serve you with complete devotion.'

PSALMS 86:11

In Christ, St Francis and St Clare,

Br Kenneth Mary Gan- of Our Mother of Perpetual Help

My Time in Brisbane

2011-07-27T09:09:00.002+10:00

Friends in Queensland, AUSTRALIA our time here has left good memories in my heart. Best wishes and have the very best of life!

Where ever we are, what ever we may be let us be assured that God is with us. Persevere in whatever you are doing, and for those of you who are still finding a place in life persevere too.

Leaving you with a few pictures of my time spent in Brisbane:)

This was taken at the Marist Brothers' Chapel, with me is the brother who thought us Church Latin (Latin there are 2 categories- classical Latin and the other was common Latin).

Taken on an outing to Mt Tamborine with James and Yuko; we are helping this statue to clean its nose:)

With the Catholic Students of the University of Queensland

My love for food means that I am prone to exploring new suburbs/towns in QLD. Here Donna Tan and myself are at a restaurant in Forest Lake.

With fellow Franciscan Friars during World Youth Day 2008, here we are at an event called Days in the DIocese in QLD organized by the Franciscans.

Graduating with my Masters in Molecular Biology, pretty amazed with my efforts as I was awarded with the Deans Award every semester, can you imagine 'every semester'? Must have really studied like hell!

Here is the tail of a whale...Went whale watching with a group of friends. Sadly I was sea sick and did not really enjoy the trip. Was sleeping inside the ship as I felt so sick:(

My love for food led me to try out this Italian Bakery. Was such an amazing experience with one other Seminarian as this shop sells Italian pastries, cakes, cookies, coffee...The place is Gerbino's Pasticceria, Ashgrove.

Trinity= Choc Mousse Cake

2011-07-24T09:57:00.004+10:00

Wow! I just love this Frech chocolate mousse cake by Chouquette Patesserie, New Farm. Chouquette named this cake as Shades of Chocolate. It has a crunchy base, 3 layers of chocolate mousse (dark, milk and white chocolates) and finished with a chocolate glaze.

I woke from a good night's sleep into the 17th Sunday in Ordinary time, having read the Gospel of the day and offered my prayer, I started thinking about the relevance of today's Gospel to humanity. I thought about my Shades of Chocolate, linking it to the misconception/misunderstanding/mistrust of many to the Churches' teaching about the Holy Trinity; the concept of 3 Persons (Father, Son and Spirit) in 1 God.

I was thinking that my tongue made sense of the 3 layers of chocolate as one fantastic cake! The layers of chocolate in the mousse cake has each a very unique taste to it; each layer is unique on their own. The chocolate glaze on the cake was a mix of sour-bitter; will not like the glaze on its own. The 3 layers of chocolate mouse was each different- 1 layer was a little sweet, the white layer was blend and the dark layer was rich. The crunch of the praline base of the cake was sweet and just crunchy- making me going for more! With all these different layers combined into one mouth-full, the cake was beautiful- sweet, rich, creamy and wanting for more.

My love for food has made me spent some time reading food blogs (mainly from Malaysian bloggers) and I noticed that many people agrees with a variety of spies/flavours/sweets to give one good dish. But, why can't people grasp the full understanding of the Trinity as 3 different Persons in 1 God? Perhaps we need to see each Person of the Trinity uniquely different by having their own personality; God is like the Creator, Christ is God made man, the Spirit is the hand/co-worker of God. Maybe like how we taste each spies/flavour as uniquely their own, like chilli powder makes chilli comes to mind, than if we can taste/experience each Person of the Trinity on their own perhaps we will understand the Person of the Father, of the Son and of the Spirit.

Like how the multitude of spies/flavours when combined together in balance, makes a fantastic dish. The whole coming of the 3 Persons in the Trinity makes the mystery of God even more genuine.

Friends I leave you with the concluding Prayer of the 17th Sunday in Ordinary Time:
Lord God, protector of those who hope in you,
without whom nothing is strong, nothing holy,
support us always with your love.
Guide us so to use the good things of this world,
that even now we may hold fast to what endures for ever.

Can We Ever Get it Right?

2011-07-22T11:17:00.001+10:00

"Woman, why are you crying?" they asked her. She (Mary Magdalene) answered,
"They have taken my Lord away, and I do not know where they have put him!"
John 20: 13

Sometime last week, I made use of Couscous. Couscous is an Italian, I will say a form of pasta, made from Durum Wheat; as you see in the picture above it is rough and is like pasta in the version of rice. My first time making and trying, at first it tasted too blend to my liking, but I started liking it after a few mouths full. I ate the couscous with chicken nuggets and stir-fry vegetable (had to start eating more vegies!!!). The box of couscous says that it can be added to fresh salad as well.

I wonder if any of us can "get it completely right?" I do at times wonder why the hell I want to be a religious priest? Why borther to go out there and preach the Gospel to people each day? Don't we enjoy just NOT KNOWING- and live life the way we want, like the Bible says, just sway to which ever direction the wind takes us??? Just like Mary Magdalene in today's Gospel, she did not know what had happened to the body of Jesus in the tomb! I paused at the moment when Mary was lost in the unknown; how nice I wondered to just live sometimes in the unknown?

Unfortunately, I must say for now the ways of the world has yet to capture my imagination. The ways of the world to my reflection is half-truths, self glorification, margelinizing others, arguements...Yes, hang on, I must admit that these too are present within the Church arthorities. So, can any of us "get it completely right?"

I was asked be a Commonwealth Bank Manager, I was there about 2 weeks ago and I must say a personal service is better than internet bank service! I was at the Commonwealth Bank branch in Brisbane CBD, and upon me touching my bum on their comfortable chair, here comes a nice person in apron asking me, "What do you like sir?" I asked for a hot chocolate with mashmallows! Anyway this lady manager, a Catholic from the Philippines asked me, "Why is western people looking at buddhism these days?"

A very relevant question! But, come on let us face reality. These differences does not only take place in the field of religion, they are present among each individual; we see it in families, we see these difference of opinions in the work place, in hypothesis made is science, in health. Each of us has a different idea, a different way of approaching the truth, a different understanding. Perhaps, this is why divorces happens, wars, persecution, corruptions...

What can I do then? For me, I strive to the best I can to be myself. God has touched my life, yes it is religion, and for now I will not give up living this touched from the Divine; many are asking me to give up and just live life in 'the world'. To me if I have found a Divine Truth I will not want to give that up. Afterall, we are a mortal being, and when I die I want to die in the Truth of God. I don't want to die clinging onto a man-made ideology of getting rich, having properties, serve yourself first before you help the poor, ect.

I do also think about, if in 10 to 20 years time I find that the priesthood is not my cup of tea, what will happen to me? For me I think I will hold on to the Words of the Bible, "I am with you till the end of time". Till today, I must admit God has never left me empty. Strange fact, and that is why God continues to amaze me! At least I am doing God's work now, because some people thinks that earn world money first then as one is about to die then do charity. Sorry, this does not make sense to me:( I rather save my heavenly money in heaven first, then before I die maybe I eat my many favourite foods:)

Each of us have our unique way of life. To those who aren't yet living a Christ-way of life, I hope someday soon they will discover the Truth and be enlightened by the Truth.

My new postal address in Western Australia is:

Franciscan Friars of the Immaculate

Kenneth Gan

PO Box 1028

Toodyay WA 6566

Friends please do keep in touch and I wish you the very best that life offers!

The Marvels of Humanity

2011-07-17T18:39:00.017+10:00

Joy is prayer

Joy is strength

Joy is love

Joy is a net of love by which you can catch souls.

~Mother Teresa

I must admit that today I had a sense of respect, a sense of awe, for the marvels of the human soul. One thing I always thank the Divine for, is for the gift of my friends- I am surprised that with my idea of becoming a religious priest, I still have friends whom are willing to be part of my life; individuals who share my joy, fun, people who participate in my love for food, friends who are sincere and loving people.

In my many contacts with so many people, I realized the capacity of the human soul in achieving their specific call in life; perhaps many of us call this a 'DREAM'. For me I call this secular word 'DREAM', as an inner calling planted in each of us by the Divine- I call the 'dream' a Vocation, a Call from God. The Scriptures say, that God knows us by name even before we were created in our mother's womb.

I marvel at how people have found ways to reach their Vocation in life- I have seen and heard of friends who had to undergo a new university course when they found their interest in other fields of studies. I see friends who enjoy their life (work, relationships) and are willing to sacrifice time on the journey of their vocation in life. I have seen adults who due to terminal cancer had to redirect their life's journey and live as a dying patient with happiness and conversion to Catholicism; may the soul of auntie Agnes rest in peace. I have heard of friends who are willing to undergo hardships and uncertainties to be in a country of their choice. I have even come across an individual, who had begun 4 different university courses but had never completed a single one of those courses. I have friends who are so generous to me with their life, so as to constantly support me in my spiritual life.

I bet you too have come across many of such friends or strangers? Perhaps, you too see yourself, or part of yourself, in their shoes?

I too marvel at myself! I thank God each day, for my capacity to live through each day despite the many uncertainties that life as a religious can bring!!! I marvel at my resilience, my capacity in enduring hardships that comes my way on the journey in my faithfulness to the Divine. I marvel more at God, who has provided me with many spiritual graces and temporal needs when difficulties does come.

Life is such a beautiful mystery; the capacity for the human soul to shape itself through the changes of time creates a beautiful story. Yet, the human soul remains fix on its call in life- how true for the Scripture to proclaim that time can change, but God never changes! God is the same yesterday, today and forver was proclaimed by the Prophet Jeremiah!

Perhaps, that is why like humanity I am captured by the beauty of the cupcake I bought. Yes, life is a beautiful story and many of us know that in reality, in the beauty there too are the many struggles that come with it- financial crisis, marriage break down, not understanding our lives, doubt the existance of God, questioning why hardships come, some people need to work day and night. Perhaps, that is why it is good to indulge in a good beautifully made cupcake once in a while, to savour the goodness of humanity.

I Shall Rest

2011-07-14T11:57:00.000+10:00

'Take my yoke and put it on you,

and learn from me, because I am gentle

and humble in spirit;

and you will find rest.'

Matthew 11: 29

In Indian movies, when I was a young boy, I remembered seeing those huge cows carrying a yoke on their back, pulling a cart with people and farm produce on it. Those Indian movies are a classic!!! Watching Indian movies was one of my favourite weekend activities when I was in primary school.

In the Gospel today, I wonder why will Jesus ask me to carry his yoke? 'Take my yoke and learn from me', says the Gospel according to Matthew. I never tried taking a yoke on my back, the closes I have is taking a stick on my back to perform some back strecthes after my gym exercise. But, seeing what a yoke looks like in the movies- those bulky, old looking log indicates that taking the yoke alone is not a nice job to do.

I was reflecting and I realized that to learn is to strive with hard work. Like many if we want to survive in the world, we need to be willing to work hard. So, to learn about the Kingdom of God, to realise the mysteries of life I will need to work hard. To gain wisdom, to learn of God, I need to place in appropriate work load on spending time reading the Sacred Scriptures, Prayer, Solitude, Works of Mercy.

The comforting message of Jesus is that He assures me that 'He is gentle and humble'. Jesus tells me in the Scripture that He is unlike the others who will whip and, maybe, ill-treat their cows. Jesus, tells us who are willing to take His yoke and learn from Him that he will be a gentleman and a person of humility.

How nice if the people in the world, perhaps such as our employers and people of power, can also be like-Christ who is gentle and humble? How nice too if I can be conscious that the yoke of Jesus is on my back and I am to learn from Him? Sadly, so often I forget this fact that I am merely a 'cow' with a yoke on my back, learning from my master Jesus who is gentle and humble.

How does one know if one has a DULL mind?

2011-07-09T19:15:00.003+10:00

"This people will listen and listen, but not understand;

they will look and look, but not see,

because their minds are dull,

and they have stopped up their ears

and have closed their eyes.

Gospel of the 15th Sunday in Ordinary Time-
Parable of the Sower Matthew 13: 1-23

Understanding the mystery of God, the mystery of Life, does require a CREATIVE mind!!! What a fact! Perhaps, I must not sound surprised but to say that, "Yes, we do have many dull people around!"

Maybe, to put ourselves to the test to see if our minds are dull, let us see if any of us can get the wisdom from the statements made by Antoni Gaudi (started the Sagrada Familia famous monument in Spain) and by Pope Benedict on Antoni Gaudi;

Pope Benedict 16 remarked, "At a time when man claims to be able to live with his back turned towards God, as though he no longer had anything to say to Him, the consecration of this church of the Sagrada Familia is an event of great significance. Through his work, Gaudi shows us that God is the true measure of man; that the secret of true originality consists, as he himself said, in returning to the beginning, which is God. Gaudi, opening his spirit to God, was capacle of creating in this city a space of beauty, faith and hope which leads one to an encounter with He who is truth and beauty itself."
"Life is love and love is sacrifice," Antoni would emphasize. "If a household shows vitality, it is because someone is sacrificing. It is sometimes a servant..."
"The poor," Antoni would say, "must always find a welcome in the Church, which is an expression of Christian charity."
"The portal must be large enough," Antoni explained, "not for the individual man, but for all humanity, because all have a place in the heart of their Creator."

To be honest, it does take me some seconds to digest the deep thoughts made by Antoni and the Pope. Maybe, some common comments that will be made by unbelievers are " what bull-shit!", "What??!!", "I don't agree on sacrifice!", "I don't get it!"

So, at times when a friend of mine or a stranger comes to me and says, "I do not believe in God", "I am an 'atheist'", "I believe in 'something', but not God." Very often I just give the friend or the stranger a friendly smile. Because, in life, personally I fell that it is not a matter if you believe IN A GOD- but more importantly if you get the whole idea, or a little idea, of the mystery of God! Believing is one thing, anyone on the street can claim that "I believe!" But, to get the whole idea of the mystery of God we need a creative mind- a mind that is open to possibilities, a mind that is able to be shaped, a mind that is made of flesh not stones, a mind that is openned to adventure and discoveries.

In Catholicism, we as a Church believe that each of us are a pilgrim people. We on earth are making a journey towards our formal beginning; our beginning with God before Sin. Therefore, I am never surprised if there are those who claim themselves as 'atheist', 'communist', 'religious', 'believer', 'church goer'...Very important is each of us with a creative mind, need to discover for ourselves the mystery of God- the mystery of Salvation!

Happy discovery mates!!!

Bersih in Malaysia

2011-07-04T16:21:00.006+10:00


Logo of 'bersih' in Malaysia

A woman who has suffered from severe bleeding for 12 years came up

behind Jesus and touched the edge of his cloak.

She said to herself, "If only I can touch his cloak, I will get well."

Holy Gospel of the Day from Matthew 9:20-21

Last week It brought to my realisation that the latest debate happening between Christians in Australia and the Government is the protection of Marriage Law; there are pressures within the Australian community to push for homosexuals to have the same 'marriage' recognition as other members of society. As Christians to accept same sex marriage is like calling upon earth what happened to Sodom and Gemorrah!!! Personally, I continue to maintain that the term M-A-R-R-I-A-G-E is only defined/is only valid legally and socially only if the marriage is between a man and a woman. Also, I popped into the Star paper online and came across rallies planned in some parts of Malaysia by a group called BERSIH; advocating a clean, honest and transparent vote for the up coming elections. As, usual I am sure many of us are well aware of political up-rising happening in the Middle East.

Myself, I do not agree on taking political action. Yes, but I will challenge individuals on a one-to-one dialogue on issues that may seem to need a Voice of God, a good conscience. But, I will not agree to participate in riots, rallies or war- because none of us have the right to fully enforce our ideas or fellings on one particular topic on the whole community.

Like the Gospel of the Day taken from Matthew 9: 18-26, like those who are involved in rallies and riots, I am also like the woman spoken about in the Gospel. Like the woman suffering from a physical illness, she longs for healing, she longs for renewal. The woman has faith, and she longs to touch the side of the garment of Jesus Christ. The events, which to me are sad because it involves the lives of other people, is very much a demonstration that people are still in want; there are people crying out for more justice, freedom, healing, peace, better economy...

Am I in want? Yes, honestly speaking I too dream and desire something better. But, what we want can never satisfy our flesh if what we want is not pure. For example, Egyptians rallied and managed to oust the Egyptian Leader. But, according to news riots are still happening in Egypt! The problem here is does what we desire come from a pure voice within? Does it come from the Voice of God speaking out to us?

You see, the difference between the majority of people and the woman in the Gospel is this woman did not only wished and acted on what she wished. More importantly the woman had a pure faith, a good holy desire - her wishes/desires were SELF-LESS, not individualistic. And this faith in God, this pure desire, gave her complete healing and more importantly she was SATISFIED!

This afternoon I prepared Sarawak laksa using wanton noodles, fresh prawns, wombok and eggs. So, there are a good number of ingredients. Bearing in mind that Sarawak laksa paste, given by a Catholic member, has a variety of spies. Each must be in a balance to give a good bowl of delicious laksa. If the laksa soup is too spicy, or too salty or tasteless, or if the noodles are far too cook it destroys the whole bowl of laksa. With my skills, I must say it was a good bowl of finger licking good Sarawak Laksa!

Same with the many friends we may have, same with the world, each of us are like a different ingredient. The trick is each of us as members of the society, as stewards of God, we must know how to maintain balance. If some members of the society does not stand for justice, then maybe others may get persecuted unjustly. At the same time, if another group of people do stand for justice but resort to illigal/dangerous methods in achieving their goals, then these people can also harm others. Haha! But, yes there are also groups who are in between. Group of people who does things in the Spirit of Charity; these people, yes they know the world can be unjust, but they themselves perform justly for the good of others - they take no part in calling for rallies/war/demostrations. We have seen people in the past like Blessed John Paul 2, Ghandi, Mother Teresa, St Francis. These people knew and have gone through terrible moments in history, yet they persevere and trusted in God- more importantly they acted in Charity; they performed their duties and services to the society in justice, with pure desires. Ultimately these few good people were SATISFIED; they had their fair share of contentment.

When will Malaysia get back to normal? When will homosexuals stop seeking same sex 'marriage' as their 'rights'? When will the situation in the Middle East improve? I don't know for now, I can only pray and hope that everyone can have moments of peace, and brotherly and sisterly love.

These days, I do not spent time anymore with ABC/SBS news. It makes my blood boils and my heart to slow down, knowing that so much individualistic riots and wars are happening just for the good of a few. I pray that like the woman in the Gospel, I will strive for detachment of worldly goods so that my desires are selfless.

Make my Heart Like onto Thine!

2011-06-30T10:52:00.001+10:00

In the early years as I journey to become a Roman Catholic, the Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus was my favorite devotion. I felt it made so much sense, and the devotions drew me closer and closer to the Divine Mystery of our salvation. I remembered as a young boy, I will walk alone from my house in Burmah Road all the way to the Church of the Immaculate Conception, Pulau Tikus- the journey to the church took me about 20-30 minutes and another journey back. First Friday, I remembered was celebrated with Holy Mass and Benediction, I assisted the Priest at the Altar as an altar server.

Perhaps, many of you who read my blog may see 'devotions' as something of a cult as I know protestants who disagree with devotions. But, for me I always emphasise on the mystery- in my practice of Religion I do not take sides, I do not do things just out of for the sake of doing. I go deep down- perhaps, if you like it to the SOUL of things. This is something all of us are challenged to do- to journey to the CORE, to the centre.

Personally to me, the devotion to the Sacred Heart is a very biblical devotion. It draws us to the mystery of the love Jesus had for me, for you and for all sinners. I am drawn each First Friday in Honor of the Sacred Heart of Jesus to the depth of the Great Love that God has for all of mankind. A love so great that God sent His Only Son to bring me salvation. When I am captivated, covered in the mystery of the Love of Jesus it brings me healing- I love others better, I have a holy joy, positive outlook of life, I take all obstacles as an oppurtunity for learning and growth, I grow in love with the Church.

Yes, there were also miracles bearing fruit from my devotion to the Heart of Jesus. I have had prayers answered, though many do not match word for word on what I requested for in prayers. But, having had this devotion to the Sacred Heart have made me a good Catholic and a happy man on earth.

Sacred Heart of Jesus, I Place all my Trust in You!
Sacred Heart of Jesus, Have Mercy on Us!

The Bite of Sister Death

2011-06-26T11:32:00.006+10:00

'This, then, is the bread that came down from heaven; it is not like the

bread that your ancestors ate; but then later died.

Those who eat this bread will live forever.'"

John 6: 58

Feast of Corpus Christi

Today after Mass, celebrating the Feast of Corpus Christi, I had my usual breakfast and my must have cup of coffee. Later, I went into youtube and typed in 'funeral' and up came vidoes on people's memorials and funeral pictures. Death does seem to have a good bite on peoples' life- as shown by the need for splendid funeral ceremonies and the effort placed into having pictures of deceased loved ones.

When I was a little boy, not so little now though, I remembered the negativity members of my family had against death; out of a sudden a deceased loved friend becomes some sort of an 'outcast'. I remembered my late grandmother will not allow me to participate/observe the buddhist funeral of a neighbour, and my late grandmother will not even enter the house of the neighbour- she sat away from the house, sitting under the shade opposite the house of the deceased. Yes, all these reaction to death is very much a chinese cultural taste.

It seems that death does and still is something some of us still fear- Sister Death, as St Francis calls it, is a reality of life. And no matter how much we try to keep the fact that we will die eventually out of our minds and conversations, it lingers somewhere in our brain cells.

But, as I was watching the funeral videos on youtube I cannot help it but realized that no matter how much we hate death, I noticed the efforts placed into giving the deceased a grand good funeral is just a response in realizing that as human we fear LOST- the lost of a dear LIFE. In a chinese funeral we can see ultra detailed efforts are placed into getting good decorations around the dead body, food offerings of whole pigs/chicken and procession of music bands on the day of the funeral. In some parts of Indonesia bulls are slaugthered as offering to the deceased, because the bull is regarded as the spirit that will lead the deceased to the after life. A Catholic funeral is observed as a Mass Offering to pray for the deceased soul and the mourning - yet too in a Catholic funeral the living finds a space to say something good about the deceased (eulogy- GREEK meaning "good words"). Even those who claim that they 'do not believe in god', yet when they speak of death they asks for a simple send off with their ashes scathered into the sea.

Sadly, I do see that so often even as a living being I face the fear of lost. I have seen friends who just can't find their place yet in the community we live in. I have seen employers who placed acheiving their company's targets above the quality of how they treat their employees. I realized the numerous wars and killing happening in many parts of the world. I listen and see the current Australian people debating over the issues of the climate of the future. The list goes on...As human, humans fear the reality of LOST. People don't want to "lose face", some sees compassionate attitude as being a "sissy", I see some friends working so hard to get rich, but sadly they are poor within. All of us do not what to claim defeat, not even the tiniest of defeats. We want glory! We desire victory! I know I want it, because I do dream of victory.

And that is the reality of my human life, a reality that is hard for me to face- hard because it is so not easy not to think about the possibility of lost. I have been thought to think about risk, before even thinking about the positive effects my effort will give.

We party, we dance, we sing...That is the rythem of life...That is the rythemic flowing of the river...Life, O life! "All, praise to you O, Sister Death", says St Francis of Assisi...I hope when death does come to me, I may have lived my life to the very best of my effort- with all my short coming as a human being, may I too, like St Francis praise God at my death bed.

Corpus Christi is a Mystery of Life

2011-06-22T22:52:00.000+10:00

The feast of Corpus Christi, the Body and Blood of our Lord Jesus, is a celebration of LIFE. Christ Jesus offered himself for the salvation of humanity by instituting the Sacrament of Love, the Eucharist, the evening before Jesus was persecuted. Corpus Christi celebrates the mystery of the presence of Jesus in the bread and wine offered at the altar, each time a priest celebrates Mass- this brings to mind also on the importance of the ministry of the priesthood.

In Malaysia my parish church will celebrate this feast with a procession around the church compound with the Blessed Sacrement; not sure if this is still done today? But, it was a community event and I enjoy seeing the church members helping one another in making the simple procession a success; community working together is a real community. Of cause I was an altar server that time, and it was a very special feast day with a Solemn High Mass celebrated.

As I was reflecting this evening on the Feast of Corpus Christi, I bring to mind my family in Penang, Malaysia. Jesus is the giver of life, and the Eucharist is Love- when I partake at the table of the altar, I partake as a member of the community in receiving the Eucharist, in receiving Love. Thus, this evening I can't help it but to remember my family- remembering life! What more easier way there is to explain the Eucharist, to explain Love, but by giving the example of my family?!

Christ gives me his body and his blood each time I worship at Mass. My life is made, by Grace and effort, into the divine life each of us are called to live. My life is filled with the Love of Jesus each time I receive Him with a clear conscience, with a pure heart. Just like within my family I am surrounded by different individuals - parents, sister, long distance cousins I meet only once every couple of years. Unknowingly, I must say that my personality does in some way get shaped by those around me in my family. I take in lessons from family celebrations, festivals, births and deaths, sickness - our relatives are those we grew up with! Christ, in the Eucharist, is part of my life too and Christ has an effect on me each time I receive the Eucharist. Saying "AMEN" each time I receive the Eucharist is my affirmation that the way of Jesus, is a definite way of life for me. Just like the experiences faced by members of our family can be a total mystery to me, the issue of the real presence of Jesus in the Eucharist remains a mystery to me; a mystery because no ideas nor words of mine can fully explain the gift of the Eucharist. That is why the Church still considers the real presence of Jesus and some other issues of Faith as a mystery, because being only human we can never fully 100% comprehand the greatness of God.

What a precious gift is the Eucharist, how much must my heart be grateful for such a great mystery! I hope each of us will take sometime off this Thursday 23rd June, to discover this mysterious gift of Love that Jesus left as a memorial till He comes again. Let us put in some effort to understand, to contemplate, this mystery- a mystery will remain a blur and dark issue, we will have lots of questions, until as an individual we make some effort to seek.

When we seek we shall find!

Happy Feast of Corpus Christi!

Wishing that life can be as clear as water

2011-06-15T16:22:00.006+10:00

"Make certain you do not perform your religious duties in public

so that people will see what you do.

If you do these things publicly, you will not have any

reward from your Father in heaven.

Matthew 6: 1

I made home-made apple sauce this afternoon to go with a nice pork crakle. Having read the Gospel of the day, I wished that things about life can be so clear, so pleasant and so awesome. Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew is speaking about things THAT MATTERS; perform your duties in secret, within, use humility. But, many of us know for certain that so often we miss the mark!

I am hoping that situations of life can be like the apple sauce - a GENTLE simmer, followed by a few minutes of BOILING, followed again by a GENTLE simmer and finally the PUREE in the blender. A gentle simmer is all good- something like an experience in a sauna or jacuzzi! All of us do enjoy a moment of simmering; it is comfortable and healthy (said to be good for the skin!). The boiling part is what at times makes me freak out! In fact many times when the temptation comes to go by my way, instead of God's way, my first response is FEAR! Fear, doubt, at times cripples me and makes me want to change my direction in life. I wonder is following the Gospel is afterall that magnificent?

But, let us look at the positive aspect that we are afterall a PUREE; a smooth blend of granny apples, cinnamon, brown sugar and water. In each of us is a mixture of the good, the not so good, the horrible, the hurts, the happiness, the hopes...It goes on!

So, whatever happens to each of us never forget to HOPE, to LOVE and to be JOYFUL!

Veni Sancte Spiritus! Happy Pentecost!

2011-06-08T23:17:00.000+10:00

Happy Pentecost! The Holy Spirit is like honey to the soul - the spirit brings alive the Word of God, the experience of God within each of us. As the Bible says, there are various gifts but all from the same one Spirit- from the same one God.

Veni, Sancte Spiritus, et emitte coelitus

Lucis tuae radium.

(Come, Thou Holy Spirit, come, and from Thy celestial home

Shed a ray of light divine.)

~From the Sequence of Pentecost

To each of us, is given a divine light, it is this light that distinguishes between what is worldly and what is of the divine. Many people are confused today, many claims, "As long we are good people and have good thoughts, is what counts." But, for a Christian person that goodness in us is a goodness born from the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

To us who are Baptized and Confirmed in the Faith, let us celebrate Pentecost with a gentle reminder that we too are the Temple of the Holy Spirit. Let us also celebrate the diversity of spiritual gifts and virtues that the Holy Spirit inspires in each one of us.

HAPPY PENTECOST! Veni Creator Spiritus! Come Creator Spirit!

How Should we Treat the Pagan?

2011-05-24T08:31:00.002+10:00

In high school, the 5 years I spent in St Xavier's Institution, was to me the BEST 5 YEARS of my life! It was the time I realise the meaning of my life and the meaning of human relationships. I was very much working and living like a religious, accompanying the late Rev Br Ulrick Currie fsc in his work with blind youths and with the school.

"Come, eat my food and drink the wine that I have mixed.

Leave the company of ignorant people, and live.

Follow the way of knowledge."

The Book of Proverbs 9:5

To many people I think they saw me as somekind of a radical Roman Catholic Christian, but those who were with me they admired me for my holiness. From 7am each weekday the first place I visited was the school's Chapel, praying the Rosary with Br Ulrick and all my free time at school was again with Br Ulrick to help him with his work. These activities were beneficial to me as an individual because I grew in acedemic knowledge (soon entering the top class in form 5), I was very sincere, very humble (even admitted to more marks given to me by a teacher), enjoyed working for the disadvantage and grew in the Holy Knowledge of the reality of humanity.

My dear friends, I realise not many are blessed with such an experience like what I had.

As Catholic Christians, it is our duty/ our invitation by Christ to live life in ALL ITS FULLNESS! Many thinks that this means eat, drink, get drunk and sleep, get materially rich. Christ invites each of us into the mystery of God's Love for us; Christ invites us to participate in the journey of life towards the Father in Heaven.Christ invites us to grow in His Knowledge, because only in Christ lies our true happiness, our true freedom.

Words, can only be words- the word of God can be only a mere word to many. To have Wisdom we need to work towards it. To understand the full reality of the Word of God we need to grow in the Gifts of the Holy Spirit; we need Wisdom. The Book of Proverbs speaks about the need for Wisdom, and we see it too requires a human responds - "come", "eat", "drink", "leave", "follow". With Wisdom, we will be free from wayward thinking we will remain true to God, Mother Church and Scripture. With Wisdom we will get the essence of God, we shall not be afraid of our enemies. With Wisdom and holiness we will live life in freedom- many today are chained to the moving world, forgetting the meaning of life.

For me, it is not important if others get the message of Christ; that is why I never speak of religion to anyone. If we want others to be convinced of the message of Christ, we ourselves must first be trully CONVINCED of the message of Christ in ALL expects of our existance. Like Br Ulrick, he never spoke a word of God to me. How I was drawn to Roman Catholicism was through the Holy Spirit in the life of Br Ulrick.

Some of the ways we can try to learn/cultivate Wisdom is:

Daily Prayer (be discipline, set fix times each day for prayer)
Scriptures
Rosary
Church activities (readers, altar servers, floral arrangers, teachers of Faith, prayer groups...)
The practice of Virtues

Like the book of Proverbs, let us strive to be the wise person not a stupid one. Let us educate the wise not the ignorant. Let us grow in Wisdom and not in stupidity.

Teach By Example

2011-05-17T12:15:00.001+10:00

One of the events I always look forward to in days gone by, living in my old childhood house at 233-A Burmah Road, is the Wesak Day celebrations. Living right across the Malaysian Buddhist Association (MBA) where all the events and Wesak procession is concentrated at, it was naturally that I look forward to the fun fair atmosphere of the annual Wesak celebrations; a public holiday too in Malaysia.

On the eve of Wesak I would notice that stalls were slowly being set up; stalls selling joss sticks and candles, stalls for drinks and food. One of the stalls I looked forward too was the stall selling the chicken back-side; bishop's nose on a stick! This used to be my favourite, the barbequed chicken back-side on a stick roasted on hot charcoals. As I grew into secondary high school, I realized that chicken back-side was made up of FAT so I stopped eating them:(!!!

The very day of the celebrations, the atmosphere changes dramatically. Being a public holiday the mornings were slow, traffic were few. And living right across the MBA Temple as I wake, I awake to the sound of the Buddhist chants form the loud speakers and the smell of burning incense and candles. I get excited as I knew it was going to be a fun day again! Soon, as the day progresses the number of visitors to the MBA Temple increases, there will be more traffic and more sound of people chattering. Oh, I just get so excited as a little young boy!

Before the MBA Temple gets busy, my grandmother and I will go over to the Temple to offer prayers and perform acts of charity. Being a young boy, I had no interest in anything on religion so i watched my grand-mother buying joss sticks and red candles, giving donations to the temple and the homeless poor who will line the temple, and observing my grandmother worshipping Buddha. My late grandmother will move slowly around the main prayer hall ligthing her candles and burning her joss sticks, saying her prayers in silence. She will even go down on her knees and touch her forehead on the ground in a humble act of worship and submittance; even in her late 70's, that at times I worried she will not be able to pick herself back up! Her act of charity to the homeless beggers were simple - she dropped 10 cents coin into each of the containers of each of the beggers; my grandmother being a nyonya chinese was a very stingy and cruel woman in her young days, but seeing her giving donations changed the story. Today 10 cents means so little to us, but in my grand-mother's early days, she told me she could even buy something good for 5 cents!

As the day progresses, being a public holiday and having the road in front of my house blocked for the procession, I was confined to my house. Other then doing my homework and studying, I will also take a walk along the route of Burmah Road as there were a good number of food stalls - and food was one of my favourites giving to my chubby side when I was a young boy.

As evening comes my family and I will get ready to watch the long floral procession that happens right in front of our house. For penangites we know the old houses used to have rather short brick fences, so I and my sister will sit on the brick walls, while my parents stood and my grandmother sat on a stool as we watched the procession go by; students from Chinese school took part in the procession, youths and adults from Buddhist organisations and of course the good number of floral floats carrying the idol of buddha or kuan yin. Oh, the noise from the chattering of people and the music from the bands adds to the excitement!

As the night moves on, my family and I will stay awake to wait for the return of the procession. We will know the procession was about to make its return by the sound of the beating gong take marks the beginning of the procession and also by the slowing traffic along Burmah Road (which is one of the bussiest main road in Penang). Once we heard the beaten gong my family and I will again head out to our gate to watch the return of the procession; the floral float that we looked forward too was the final grand main float of the MBA Temple loaded with the large idol of a sitting Buddha.

Those were the days when my family and I were still chinese Buddhist; I was the first to convert to Roman Catholicism Christianity with my mum in 1997, later my sister and then my grandmother. I have no regrets giving up on Buddha, though I knew nothing deep on buddhism, I am sure Jesus alone has the message of Eternal Life. But, I had no regrets in celebrating the buddhist festivals that brought people and family together - families need occations such as these to practice good virtues, which are slowly becoming extinct today. We live in a world that only glorifies success, money, revenge, war, i-phone, internet...

Bishop Morris 'Forced' into Early Retirement by the Pope

2011-05-04T13:01:00.001+10:00

The past weekend was one of a mixture of joy and sadness; a wonderful event the wedding of Prince William and Katherine, and very sad events with the killing of Qaddafi's son and grand-children, tornado in New Zealand, the death of Osama and the 'forced' early retirement of Bishop Morris of Toowoomba, QLD.

I will like to share by deepest views of what I think about Bishop Morris forced early retirement, comparing it to me years of experience with some Church leaders in Malaysia, Singapore and Australia. This is because so much has been said in the local Australian media about the Bishop being 'forced' by the Pope to retire, but so often the voice of truth is not heard.

Firstly, I do not know Bishop Morris nor what went wrong 5 years ago leading to him being sacked by the Pope. But, his comments on the possibility for "married men and women" to become ordained Priests does not come to a shock to me.

For me, being a Catholic convert, I am only interested in the Truth of Our Lord Jesus Christ. I do not attend Mass or embrace Religion to take a political stand; the fact that many members of the Church love labelling each other as "progressive", "ultra-orthodox" and "traditionalist" is disgusting! As members of Christ's body, the Church, we need to be concern about the Truth and extend this discovered Truth to each other by the way we show loving concern for each other.

The news of Bishop Morris's sacking mentioned many issues against the Pope and the Vatican See. I will like to share my thoughts on those news:

Vatican being unjust, being too secretive and undercovered, not transparent enough - Is this true? Maybe, but we must remember that Vatican is a Church Institution. The obedince that the Church of Christ asked of its Bishop is one of Holy Obedience; an obedience born out of a deep relationship with Christ. On the other hand, it is a similar system that is used by the local Queensland Church. I experienced this at the Holy Spirit Seminary. So, if the Queensland Church desires greater transparancy from the Vatican then perhaps, we as the local Church need to do like wise in our dealing with all members of the Church.
The Bishop's sacking was blamed on the "temple police", a minority of 'ultra-orthodox' Church members - Personally I have seen with my own eyes how the so called 'minority ultra-orthodox' members are treated. I use to attend Sunday Mass at St Ignatius, Toowong and occationally I attend the Saturday Morning Mass as well to give a friendly support to a lady who conducts the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrement; I gave her assistance in exposing the Sacred Sacrement as the Parish Priests do not support/believe in the Exposition of the Blessed Sacrement. At Holy Spirit Seminary I was often picked at by the Rector and in class for being the only person to continue receiving the Eucharist on the tongue. Am I against those who receive the Eucharist on the hand? No, I am not. Is the lady who expose the Sacrement at St Ignatius against those who do not believe in the Eucharist? No, she is not. Very often, these group of so called 'pious' or 'othodox' people are very often ill-treated by Priest under their care. So, to the individual who reported to the Vatican with regard to Bishop Morris 5 years ago, and the effort Vatican placed in examining and terminating Bishop Morris, must be appreciated. The so called 'minority orthodox' individuals are always the ones who are most patient, most open (they attend the modern and old Mass (if there is one)) and have a genuine concern for the Church.
The suggestion for "women and married men to be Priests" - I believe the issue here is we live in a very confusing era. The problem I noticed is that many of our old priests and religious, due to 'vatican 2' believe that common sense dictates our believe today; this is similar even within the society we live in. Common sense comes first even before one is encourage to develope the Spiritual. Is common sense sufficient? I don't think so. I think we need both equal amounts of common sense and Faith, when it comes to dealing with matters of Faith. I continue to believe that the great lack in the number of new Priests and Religious is due to the environment we are in; our environment is not yet condusive to new, vibrant and holy vocations. How can vocation blossom in Toowoomba Diocese when Bishop Morris was supposedly advocating the possibility of "women and married men for the priesthood"? How can vocations blossom in Brisbane, when inclusive language in enforced on all Seminarians? Let the Word of God, the Bible, be our guide; the Bible has indicated on the nature of vocations.

Never the less, once again I do feel much can be done by the local ArchBishop to prevent such a sacking of Bishop Morris by the Pope. Again, the Archbishop have acted too late in preventing a second sacking of Priests (Peter Kennedy and Bishop Morris) in Queensland.

It is a pity, I feel sad and concern for the local Catholic Church of Brisbane. I pray for the local church, for unity and charity.

INTERNAL MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE EXTERNAL?

2011-04-10T10:03:00.003+10:00

After he had said this, he called out in a LOUD voice, "Lazarus come out!"

John 11: 43

5th Sunday of Lent

Let us look at our bodies, our sensory organs - the ears for listening, the skin for senses, the nose for a variety of smells, the tongue for a range of taste and our eyes for vision. As a creature we go around each day reacting to all that is around us - to our external. These messages/impulses in scientific term, then activates our other internal chemistry to give us a particular action; for example if there is a fire, we run away from the fire.

So, you will agree with me that both the external and internal works in collaboration?

Today the persons of Martha and Mary in the Gospel about the raising from the dead of Lazarus is a clear message of this fact; Martha is the more active person who reacts fast to the externals and Mary on the other hand is more of a reflective/quiet person, Mary is more the internal. The Gospel tells us too, that the both worlds, internal and external is vital if we are to live a healthy Christian Life.

In the animal kingdom we see that the external provides special abilities to specific species; we have lizards who can camouflage within seconds to provide protection from predators, crabs have very hard shells to provide protection to their soft internal systems, cheetahs have long legs to run. Again external signs give identity to the internal personality/needs of species.

I wonder those who keep claiming that, "THE INTERNAL IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE EXTERNAL" truly and honestly mean the statement? I am saying this because since high school I have heard from priests, religious and even ordinary Catholics who turn down the need for prayer, for fasting, for alms giving and for abstinence. And their only 'valid' reason for turning down such Christian observance is because, "the internal is more important that the external".

With time, till today, I have yet to see that those people really get what they mean by proclaiming such a loud statement (I hear this statement very often during Lent) of "the internal is more important than the external" because these people still judge others by the EXTERNAL!

Let me give you all some real life examples (sorry I will be pissing off my Seminary people, some of the youths that i minister to and Priests by saying this):

One individual of my youth core group who she claims that the "internal is more important than the external", does things the opposite. Recently, she complained to me she had to pay $25 for a taxi drive to return the projector used at one of our youth meetings. I repeated to hear months back that to serve only the basic foundational needs to the members, no need for high tech projectors as we do not have such a resource. She did not get me and worst still she objected to my option of keeping things simple and serving the real need of the members. I indirectly indicated that the internal needs of the members, the spiritual needs, is far more important that the external. Recently that core member (who now is no longer a core member) is struggling to get the guitar; again external seems to be more of a concern, where is the internal?
In the western Catholic Church, and soon for some Asian Catholic churches to fall prey, is that many religious have given up their habits and way of life, and many priests do not believe in Mass vestments/rites. Sadly, to those religious who keeps promoting that the "internal is more important", sadly these very same people judge others more by the external appearance of the other, rather then judging on the internal. To the priests who keep working so hard to make the Mass more 'lively', more 'modern' is again a clear example that these people are clearly showing the opposite to their statement, these same people in real life are showing that the external does have some importance! :)
In the Seminary, the Rector told me last year, "We do not need orthodox people to lead the church." Again it seems more weight is placed on the external, judging others by groups and what the other person stand for, rather then judging if by chance is God saying something to us?
To the Latin Traditional Mass goers, I have also had seen them judging other modern Masses and the externals of other non-Latin Mass goers. Perhaps, we need more patience and also start looking at the internal of others. For me, both the Latin Traditional Mass and Novus Ordo Mass goers are sinners - we are all struggling on our pilgrimage to Heaven. And for the fact that Latin Mass is given permission to be conducted here in Australia, is a good enough positive sign and both Masses must compliment each other; there should be no differences.

So, the bottom line for me and many others is that the both worlds is very important to give us a healthy balance in life - to lead a healthy Christian Life.

So to those who with pride constantly proclaims that , "THE INTERNAL IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE EXTERNAL", I suggest that we do need to think twice before we teach that statement. If we are not thinking twice, we shall be judged by the world as being hypocrites.

As Easter Approaches

2011-03-28T15:13:00.001+10:00

Yesterday, was the 3rd Sunday of Lent and we are already half way through the Season of Lent. In a few weeks time Easter comes. And as Easter comes close my heart gets a little excited, a little itchy, because Easter Vigil marks my conversion to Roman Catholicism; I became a follower of Jesus in the Catholic tradition in Easter 1997.

I remembered those days when Lent begun, I just could not wait to become Catholic. I am so eager to receive Jesus in the Eucharist, I was so eager to participate in the Sacraments of the Church and most importantly I was so so so eager to be a disciple of Jesus! Getting baptised also means I become a part of Jesus and his Church; I have a responsibility now as a person of Christ.

As each Sunday of Lent passes through in 1997, I was just so excited. I was getting ready to accept Jesus into my life. Lent was also used to remove the pagan altars in my home as we were buddhist-chinese religion. Lent was also used to build a new prayer corner; as someone gave us a picture of the Divine Mercy. I remembered that I was even thinking what I should wear for the Easter Vigil baptism- we wear encouraged to wear white! Adding to this I was anticipating on what kind of gift will I get from the late Br Ulrick; Br Ulrick educated me in the Catholic Faith.

Lent was a moment of self-discovery and self-re-management.

Accepting Jesus at that age in high school made me a very disciplined, self-controlled, joyful and prayerful person. I saw myself excelling in my studies so much so that I managed to enter the top class of 5Sc1 in my school when I was in form 5. Accepting the Catholic Faith also thought me how to treat others with respect and love; I remembered I never ever gossiped in high school and will always keep away from gossipers. With Jesus in my life I saw myself also actively involved in humanitarian work run by the late Br Ulrick; cleaning the school Chapel, working for the blind youths and helping in publishing CHEECO magazine for the Catholic students of the school.

Faith in God did not kill me, but gave me NEW LIFE! A new life that is lived not for myself but totally for others. I thank God till today I am still so very excited about Jesus and am still willing to lay my life down for His Church.

Lent is a season in life that I take to reexamine my focus in life and to recommitment myself to the true purpose in life at the coming Easter.

Sante Ioseph- Ora Pro Nobis!

2011-03-19T15:56:00.000+10:00

Today, the Church celebrates the Feast of St Joseph the husband of the Virgin Mary and the foster father to Jesus, Son of God. I was reading the Gospel of the day from the Gospel of Matthew, the reading is from Chapter 1. It is about how Joseph came about to agree in marrying Mary, who was now made pregnant from the power of the Holy Spirit.

I guess how unfair it was for poor Joseph the carpenter?! How unfair for him to lose his dignity as a man, to find out that his wife-to-be, Mary, was now pregnant?! I feel pity that Joseph's plan was changed in just a moment of a second; now he has to take Mary pregnant with a child.

But, I am in awe and wonder to see that Joseph was courageous enough to take Mary pregnant with a very very very special child; Joseph must have been a man of GREAT FAITH!

Friends, as we talk about Faith, let us remember Faith takes no sides. The pass few weeks/months we have been tormented in some ways about the problems facing the many countries in the Middle East and, the most recent being Japan. So much pain, so much destruction of lives, so much mourning, slow economy, technologies put to the test...The list goes on!

Yet, in my prayer I prayed for the people on both sides of the story.

MY PRAYER
Give the people and the government a search for authentic peace...
Protect the rioters and those in power...
To those in authority give them a heart of brotherly love...
To those suffering give them hope, courage and the comfort offered by others...
To the health workers and rescuers give them courage, compassion, charity...

My heart moves in shock/surprise to see how humanity can at times be so selfish; to see why difference must end by means of war/attacks on their own people in Libya, Bahrain...? But, at the same time my heart is at peace because maybe people like Moarmar Gaddafi, King of Bahrain and other leaders of other Middle East countries need a contrite and converted heart. We need to have hope that sooner of later, these people who we see as 'evil' can by God's Mercy be made right.

And I have this hope! As often as we as human beings fail and yet given another chance to rise and move, I hope these leader whom the world sees as 'evil' will also be given some possibility to experience mercy and love; Mercy and Love that comes from God through us!

CHRIST is my Sure One Foundation!

2011-03-11T09:11:00.000+10:00

Seeing the many uprisings and riots happening in many areas in the Middle East, as well as parts of the western world (Britain and the European Union) I am sure sometime in the future mankind will need to go down on their knees again. Recent news of Egypt now reported of clashed between the Christians and Muslims. Parts of the western society have young people fighting for better university fee system and retirement funds.
What is happening now is like what the book of Genesis says, “The blood of your brother is crying out!”

For too long a time the world has tried to separate itself from the reality of God, taking inventions and ideas that serve only the needs of a certain group of people. Yet, the promise of God for everlasting Peace, Brotherhood and sustainability are not heard.

Recently, the EU Parliament invited Pope Benedict to speak at the European Parliament.

I think in the near future it is Religions, God, who will once again make a come back to bring true healing to mankind. Human ideas alone do not guarantee true peace and true brotherhood; I think the recent events have proven these. For me, each person is united by one think – OUR TRUE IDENTITY- our true identity as a creation of the Divine Lord. Trying to speak other wise have only brought about pain and misery as seen and witnessed by many in past and recent histories.

This Lent let us examine ourselves, let us ask, “WHERE IS MY FOUNDATION?”

Perhaps a Different Brand/Quality is Needed?

2011-03-08T09:56:00.002+10:00

Once again the Season of Lent begins for the Catholic Church; a season of repentance to prepare for the Mystery of Salvation in the Life, Death and Resurrection of Jesus.

As I continue to mature in age, I am soon coming to the stage in life where to discharge is no longer common; to discard/put away an idea or an activity that is not useful to me and to others. I think for me this Lent will not be so much about what I need to reflect in me that I need to throw out so I can be a better person. But, Lent for me now will be more about discerning and reflecting on the brand or quality of my attitude towards life; the kind of Love I give to myself and in relation to others.

Here in Australia we often have various options when it comes to purchasing a daily common product. One can chose a free range egg or a caged egg, a cheaper non branded product (such as Homebrand, Coles...) to those brands that we commonly see (such as Cadbury, Coon...) and today we can even support products that supports fair trade to ensure farmers are well-paid and children not exploited by farmers. In selecting a choice I believe the consumer will need to go through his/her status. The consumer will need to ask questions about his/her believe, financial status, family background and the ecomony/political situation at a particular time. The consumer will need to scrutinize his believes and understanding before making a decision to buy a particular product.

Lent to me this year will be very much about this, to scrutinize my believes and understanding so that I hopefully become an individual who uses the best/suitable quality and brand of LOVE, of RESPECT, of PEACE, of GODLINESS...

HAVE A GOOD START TO LENT MATES!!!

FOR-GIVE-NESS

2011-02-20T13:16:00.001+10:00

"Do not bear a grudge against others, but settle your differences with them, so that you will not commit a sin because of them. Do not take revenge on others or continue to hate them, but love your neighbours as you love yourself. I am the LORD.

Leviticus 19: 17-18

And if you speak only to your friends, have you done anything out of the ordinary? Even the pagans do that! You must be perfect- just as your Father in heaven is perfect.

Matthew 5: 47-48

Ever since landing myself in Australia in 2001, I have been asked to organise some form of youth group. I have done this in Adelaide and now here in Queensland. I am very passionate and committed to this venture of working among the Catholic youths. Being human it is not easy to remain pure in its goals, and sometimes there are moments of sadness; moments of hurt, moments of differences.

As a group I am always open to different people with different ideas- a concept I have always held for the youth group is that the group must be OPEN; members are free to organise different events. A very noble idea indeed, but a very challenging job to encourage the different members to remain faithful to the core objectives of the group.

The first reading of this Sunday's Mass taken from the Book of Leviticus is a form of instruction on methods to solve problems. I have used this method of "settle your difference with them", but it is never easy. Most often I see my neighbour not willing to discuss the difference or they would rather deny that a difference ever existed. This is one of the biggest stone I see still existing in the youth group.

Anyway the whole message of the Readings today is about the everlasting LOVE and MERCY of God the Father. And as the Father is unlimited to us sinners, we too need to strive after the same ideals as the Father in Heaven has. As the Father in heaven loves us unconditionally, we too must strive for unconditional love for our neighbours.

In the word FORGIVENESS- a word so easily used among Christians- I realise the word GIVE. Forgiveness to me is about giving, giving love and mercy to others. And today Jesus in the Gospel of Matthew instructs me on the importance of giving that same unconditional Love and Mercy to my enemies, not only to my friends, but also to those who are different to me.

As someone who has decided to follow Jesus as a Religious, in my hometown I am very often laughed at by priests and religious alike, also by my friends and family. Very often I tell myself that God also loves these people who in one way or another persecute and treat me differently. As much as the sinners at the foot of the Cross were forgiven by Jesus, I too have taken that same courage to forgive those who treat me differently due to my faithfulness to the Call of Jesus.

I am sure so many of us fine it challenging at times to GIVE love and mercy, especially to those who have truly ill-treated us. For now I am happy that the occasions for me not to forgive, to GIVE love and mercy, is only very minimal.

So the next time we think of FORGIVENESS let us remember it is about us giving GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY to one another- not only to our love ones and friends, but since we are Christians, to give GOD'S LOVE AND MERCY to our most hated of enemies.

Yes, surely is it not easy to forgive our enemies! That is why Jesus ended his message by saying, "YOU must be PERFECT as your Father in heaven is PERFECT." A very noble and holy goal to follow, but yes I don't think any of us are likely to be identical to the Father. A noble and holy goal that each of us should strive for.

PAX TECUM!

I Am Having Blurred Vision

2011-02-16T17:52:00.000+10:00

Jesus again placed his hands on the man's eyes. This time the man looked intently, his eyesight returned, and he saw everything clearly.

Mark 8: 25

I am very often an over cautious, worried and at times pessimistic person.

This week I realised that to carry out the work of God, it is not about what I do nor is it about the amount of work I perform. More importantly it is about how I carry myself as a person; as a Catholic-Christian. I asked myself does my words give others life or make others cry? Does my action bring peace or destruction?

Very often due to my manner of doing things - in a haste- I have blurred visions. Unknowingly I lose focus on what is important. I pray for the gift of the Spirit- the gift of prudence, patience, wisdom and charity. I ask Jesus to heal me so I can see intently, to focus, so that I can have a clearer vision.

YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT?

2011-02-09T12:59:00.001+10:00

Many of us have come across the statement, "we are what we eat."

Here in Australia I make a point each week to go for either a jog or a walk around my neighbourhood. After my jog/run, I will warm down by doing some push ups, sit ups and stretchers. I end my healthy routine with a good dose of cold protein shake. And since taking protein shake I do notice that each week when I do take the protein shake I start adding weight; my pants and shirts get tighter. On weeks or months I am not on the supplement I notice my weight goes down to my normal weight of mid 80 kgs.

From my recent visit to Malaysia I added a total weight of about 10kg!

"Don't you understand? Nothing that goes into you from the outside can really make you unclean, because it does not go into your heart but into your stomach and then goes on out of the body."

"It is what comes out of you that makes you unclean. For from the inside, from your heart, come the evil ideas which lead you to do immoral things..."

Mark 7: 18-21

So, yes we are what we eat. So, is Jesus wrong of saying other wise?

Here Jesus was trying to emphasise the foundation of the Jewish tradition of eating only ritually clean food. Jesus is not saying that the Jews of his time need not practice that tradition, but Jesus was trying to enforce the foundation of why eating ritually clean food- the teaching of the ancestors?

Since, I became Catholic my family and I have become more relax when it comes to food that have been offered at the altar of a chinese god/goddess. I remembered while I was attending the Protestant church, we were cautioned against eating ritually unclean food, because the Bible did encourage us, to the best of our ability, not to eat ritually unclean food.

What is my response when a Catholic or Christian should ask me on the issue of ritually unclean food?

I guess the Bible has that answer- read the New Testaments. The Bible remind those who are strong in their Faith, not to cause the down fall of those who are weak/new in the Faith. For me, as one who has practised the Faith for years, faithful to daily prayers and strong in Christ- personally when someone of the other faith offers me food that I have known to have been offered to a pagan god/goddess, I am still reluctant to have such food. Luckily, not many people has offered me ritually unclean food.

So, for someone new to the Christian Faith I will always tell he or she to be cautious about having ritually unclean food. This can aid their transition into the new Faith!

Yes, let us be aware of ritually unclean food. But, as in the Gospel of Jesus more importantly let us be cautious about what is on going deep down in our hearts! As much of it is important that so many of us today are taking extra care to eat healthy low fat diets to keep fit- let us place the same care to look after our SPIRITUAL HEART. It is in the heart that evil intention arises, says Jesus! So, as well as you look after your physical heart, remember also to look into your SPIRITUAL HEART.

With a heart that contains more good holy intentions, perhaps we can then best reflect the Gospel of Christ to people around us.

FREEDOM

2011-02-02T08:52:00.000+10:00

That very same hour she arrived and gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were waiting for God to set Jerusalem free.

From the Gospel According to ST LUKE 2: 38

" We want FREEDOM! We need FREEDOM! You got to help us!"

From a frustrated protestor in Cairo, Egypt

Today the Catholic Church celebrates the Feast of the Presentation of the Child Jesus in the Temple in Jerusalem. A feast that also celebrates the Religious Life; vowed religious men and women, as well as consecrated laity.

This time though, as I reflected on the Gospel of the day from St Luke's Gospel, the word 'free' stood out for me. I realised that all of us seek to be free, we desire to be free. Perhaps some of us are seeking for love in a relationship. To others they may seek healing from cancer- I know a women in my hometown dying of cancer. And again to others, they may be on a lookout for better and greater work oppurtunities. We all desire some kind of freedom.

Last week on the news I saw a very frustrated protestor in Cairo, Egypt shouting angrily in front of the news camera. And in his frustration he shouted, "WE NEED FREEDOM! YOU GOT TO HELP US!" This man was seeking support from the international community to help the Egytians in their current fight for a better nation without President Mubarak.

Reflecting on the situation in Cairo, Tunisia and other Middle Eastern Countries I only realise how limited each of us are. Though each of us seek something greater, a freedom of a different kind, we can be so weak and fragile and helpless in the journey towards freedom.

This too was the case of the people in Isreal of the Old Testament, a people waiting for a Messiah-the Christ- to come and redeem them from the political power of that time. Yet, the Messiah that came was deemed as helpless, hopeless and without power; Christ Jesus was born into a poor humble family, in an animal farm and just looked so ordinary. That is why the Jewish priests and people could not accept the fact that Jesus was the promised Messiah.

The bottom line here is the people of the Old Testament, and just maybe many of us today, we fail to turn into reality the FREEDOM that Jesus came to give each of us. The freedom that Jesus came to teach and to offer us was a freedom that is greater than any of humanity's dream. The freedom that the Savior came to teach and die for was a freedom that reaches to the deepest depth of our hearts, of our very being. Jesus came to offerr a freedom that transcends all political power and human intervention. The freedom that Jesus offers us not only a freedom that can be seen and touch with the human senses, but also a freedom that lies within us.

My prayer for the people in Cairo, Tunisia, Burmah/Cambodia, the Middle Eastern Countries and all nations suffering some kind of persecution is that sooner or later the reign of God will dwell in the hearts of all people.

Look Back, Look Within.

2011-01-22T16:47:00.001+10:00

From that time Jesus began to preach his message:

"Turn away from your sins, because the Kingdom of heaven is near!"

Jesus said to them, "Come with me, and I will teach you to catch people."

Matthew 4: 17, 19

I am very often amazed by the method the Spirit disturbs and inspires me. This morning in my mind, the word 'sin' often came flashing across my mind, I knew it was about something I needed to share. In my Evening Prayer I decided to add me reflection on the Sunday's Gospel into my prayer, the Gospel for the 3rd Sunday in Ordinary Time is taken from Matthew 4: 12-23.

Amazingly the word "SIN" was mentioned by Jesus in the Gospel!

I do find it very very very hard to speak on sin casually to non-christians, and perhaps even Catholics. I am not sure why? Perhaps, many people have become intellectual beings up in the brain? Maybe, sin just makes people run because sin requires a person to change his/her life; too difficult to deal with sin?

For me, pardon me, but deep down in me I do not equal SIN to DEATH. Yes, sin without us repenting on our death bed will bring about self condemnation. But, when there is sin there is also a possibility of REDEMPTION; the salvation offered by Jesus by His death on the cross.

Each Friday of the year I observe a simple act of fasting, these days I try also to abstain from meat. Very often we hear Catholic mention, "Oh, Fridays are penitential days!" Yes, it definitely is! But, it does not end there. Sad for the old fashion Catholics who only focus on the word 'penitential'.

To me Fridays are vitals days for me to recall my sin and at the same time to allow myself to be deeply immersed into the mystery of Christ's love for me and for the world.

We cannot live in total ignorance that of, 'let us just follow Jesus, as to sin is human'. I do not totally agree with this common statement that to 'sin is human'. Yes, to sin is part of humanity but to forget the consequences of sin and the need for redemption is ignorance. And, you will be right to say, "it does not hurt God so why bother?". Maybe it does not hurt God, but we end up only cheating ourselves and our neighbours.

So, let us not be so negative about SIN. We need a clear vision of our past, of our mission, in order to move forward in God's Vineyard. Though Jesus preached the message of repentance, Jesus also calls us to "COME WITH ME, AND I WILL TEACH YOU TO CATCH PEOPLE". Such a comforting invitation by Jesus to "come with me", with a promise that he "will teach" each of us who respond personally to his invitation.

So next time when we hear someone correcting you or advising you to do penance, do not frown but be grateful to God for the gift of forgiveness and redemption. Take time not only to look back at your sins, but more importantly too is to look within your heart; as the Bible says, 'it is in the secret of our hearts that God speaks".

Do I Restrict Myself?

2011-01-13T12:06:00.000+10:00

Only a few days ago, having arrived in Qld, I was faced with the news of the floods. Only after seeing the Brisbane River with my own eyes, did I see the reality of the news headlines. Yes, people along the river were affected and also low lying areas near the river were flooded. Other, than that there were also the majority who were saved from the devastating effects of the flood waters.

A few days ago a friend of mine wrote to me encouraging me to work in Malaysia and give up my life living in Poverty, Chastity and Obedience. She constantly sents me news of Malaysian 'remuneration' and tells me she enjoys her job.

I am not sure what others think of Catholic Priests and Religious people? But, for me, perhaps I am wrong, for me Priests and Religious are workers in some way or another. We live a life of prayer and work-maybe our work are considered a service. Never the less, to me I see myself as a worker.

The bottom line is no one will want to live my life. I know that for a fact, because yes I am restricted in many ways to afford ownership of any property or any luxury of my own. But, I am not restricting myself. I do this, I live this life, in accordance with the spirit of the Gospel. I live this life as best as I can, faithful to my call and to the service I render to others.

Am I happy? Yes, I am! Being totally available to others to be the mouth, hands, eyes and legs of Jesus Christ is a call not many today will want to respond to. Though I have responded, and continue to respond, to this way of life I am aware of the many challenges placed before me by people and the society.

May God Bless us all!

Tired of Running Around?

2011-01-04T10:39:00.001+10:00

So as he stepped ashore he saw a large crowd; and he took pity on them because they were like sheep without a shepherd, and he set himself to teach them at some length.

He replied, 'Give them something to eat yourselves.'

Mark 6:34, 37

Are you tired of running around? Are we tired of seeing others running around seeking the truth in life? Are all the running about we are doing leading to aimless endless failures?

Today's Gospel sees Jesus having pity on the crowd of people who were like 'sheeps without a shepherd'; Jesus felt sorry for the people who had not grasp the totality of His message. Sheep without a shepherd is like students without a teacher, a nation of people without a prime minister; things will definitely go wrong.

I see this Gospel as an invitation to me and each of us to allow Jesus to be our teacher and, on our part, to allow ourselves to become a student. Perhaps, if we see ourselves yet to find the 'pearl of great price' in our life we need to start picking up the Bible and read about Christ's message.

And like a student who graduates and then shares his/her skills and knowledge in the community, we too are commanded to impart to others what we have freely received from Christ our teacher.

Yes, all these are not easy but let us have COURAGE!

Habits and Rituals

2010-12-26T18:28:00.002+10:00

Coming back home to my hometown connects me to my family's and personal way of doing things; I call this 'way of doing things' as habits and rituals. The human individual is a fragile component- wheather we honestly realize this reality is a totally different story. You see, humanity has created a set way of doing things; HABITS and RITUALS gives us identity.

Beginning of this year I told a friend, who is a religious, that if we should break down all that governs us in society, we are only left as a specific individual. Breakdown in our mind the banking system, management system, economy, religious institutions- at the end of these all, picture in your mind, it is humanity that remains! Sometimes why poverty happens, terrorism, epidemics of cholera, war- I feel it is because humanity has become blind to the reality we live in. We have allowed the different systems in society to play with us-with our emotions, with our living, with our relationships. And, if we should allow into us dangerous forms of habits and rituals, it destroys us at the very origin- it destroys us when we are left as ourselves, when all systems are dissolved.

That is why Catholicism believes that everything we now have on earth is only TEMPORAL- not lasting for eternity. The late Pope John Paul 2 terms our current culture as a "culture of DEATH"; having meditated on this term I have realized that in actual fact we are all heading to DEATH. Like it or not, this is a reality we need to face.

This First Sunday after Christmas, Catholics celebrate the Feast of the Holy Family. I heard the sermon this morning, and it was based on the reality of the nuclear family; parents and children. The reality that children today are well taken care of and the freedom they have, and the reality of parents and children who today are able to travel overseas/internationally compared to parents before World War 2.

Coming back to Malaysia, I am surprised that now OBESITY is an 'issue'??? I worry for humanity, because we easily take cultures from the West and tend to make it our very own habits and rituals. I have never thought obesity will become a 'reality' for Malaysians? If this is a reality in Malaysia or not, is not for me to judge, but coming from Australia I know Aussies are facing the issue of obesity. I hope Malaysians will think for themselves and be more ORIGINAL!

Next, is my real concern for the decrease of Religious Brothers and Sisters, as well as Priests, in Malaysia. I am sad to see that only 2 very elderly IJ Sisters attend my local parish Mass now, also no more frequent mass at the local Catholic Mt Miriam Hospital due to the fact that only 5 nuns are left (only 1 is active as a nurse) and not to mention the La Salle Brothers. I wonder when Catholics and humanity will awake from our sleep and start working for humanity; humanity needs brothers and sisters who work not for glory but for the betterment of humanity. Who now will give to others the same inspiration, faith experience and wisdom as I was given when the La Salle Brothers were still around in my high school days? Our world still needs God!

If only humanity starts to realize the culture of death in todays time; it only we realize the shortness of the systems that govern us. Maybe perhaps, we can see the deep need for a humanity that is at the origin of our creation; the origin of humanity with God.

In union with the Holy Father, my prayers this coming new year is the hope that humanity will not live in idolatary; being possessed by the different systems of society is a form of worshiping the idol.

Happy Christmas and Happy 2011 Everyone!

2010-12-17T21:08:00.000+10:00

Dear friends,

For wherever your treasure is, there will your heart be too.

Matthew 6:21

Every year at Advent I will sent out my Christmas Greeting cards with a verse from Sacred Scripture, and this year it comes from Matthew chapter 6, verse 21. A short verse, but when reflected can mean so much to each individual.

I am sure for us who are Catholics, we will be getting a good dose of sermon during the Christmas Mid-night Mass; very often it touches on the happening of the world, the Pope will remember little infants and the plight of children/family. This Christmas I focus on the individual- on MYSELF.

Where and what is my treasure? Where is my heart?

For us Catholics Christ Jesus and the Truth of His message is our answer to every problems. But, is Jesus the answer in our life? Is Jesus the very centre of our life? Is Jesus our all-in-all?

Perhaps, just perhaps this Christmas we can open our lives a little more fully to Christ Jesus. As we go in search of the Word made Flesh every year at Christmas, let us move more closer to God in the person of Jesus His only Son. So, that as we mature we can set our hearts on Christ-that Jesus be our TREASURE and that our heart lies in Jesus.

I wish each and every one a safe, joyous and blessed Christmas! Happy New Year!

In Christ Jesus,

Kenneth Gan

Becoming Present

2010-12-04T11:06:00.000+10:00

Go and preach, 'The Kingdom of heaven is near!' Heal the sick, bring the dead back to life, heal those who suffer from dreaded skin diseases, and drive out demons.

You have received without paying, SO GIVE without being paid.

Matthew 10:7-8

This morning as I was doing my daily exercise, with the cloudy skies out there and the quiteness of the morning- I switched on my reflective mode. I was thinking what could the birth of a Savior 2000 years ago mean for me today? How can I best live out the divine fact that Jesus, God, was born of Mary in a poor stable, lived, moved, worked miracles, preached and finally died on the cross, was raised from the dead and ascended into heaven?

In the midst of me reflecting on the whole nature of how we celebrate Christmas these days; especially with all the parties during Advent. I was thinking Chirst came into our world- Christ became PRESENT in our midst. Many despised Jesus, but few dedicated their lives to the Mission the Son of God had.

Perhaps, the best way for me to live out the mystery of Christmas is by becoming present to others; especially those on the margins of society. Every year at Christmas, on my own, I search for the materially, emotionally and spiritually poor in the cities. Having found them I will present them with a food pack containing at least one Holy article and then I proceed to have a short conversation with them.

I find myself also being present for the young people at Church and Universaties. Praying with the youths, advising the youths and journeying with them. Just being present among the youths, a great gift.

Just so simple, being present to each other, such a powerful gift.

Yes, and to be present to other is not simple. Especially when one has a full-time job, errants to run and family to look after. Thus, I bless God for His Call he gave to me to enable me to give my life to Him in witnessing for His Kingdom. Giving the majority of my time to God and others requires perservance, stable prayer life and a holy courage.

Perhaps, as Christians, the mystery of Christ's birth lies in each of us. As Jesus came freely to each of us, we too are called to freely give ourselves to others; Jesus is present with us, so in turn let us be present to each other.

Reflect on this during Advent.

Advent Message 2010

2010-11-29T20:12:00.002+10:00

Message for the Season of Advent 2010

"Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come.
Matthew 24: 42

My dear brothers and sisters in the Lord Jesus Christ,

May God's Grace be with each of us! Peace and all good!

I began the Season of Advent last weekend with vespers in union with the Holy Father Pope Benedict praying for the Unborn. 1st Sunday of Advent also began with a letter from the ArchBishop of Queensland, ArchBishop Bathersby, who invited all Catholics to be mindful of the need to respect life and the need for God in a western society. As it is my tradition to give my yearly Advent Message, my message this time is about the need to be aware of the many happenings in our society and also within our Church.
Here in Australia, I am aware of the challenges that same sex marriage and legalization of aboration are placing on the foundational values of our society and Church.It is sad when a western nation, who supposedly are supposed to be Christian, are not taking steps to make "straight the way for the Lord". It is sad when a western nation who claims to be developed, rich and comfortable does not see the dangers that homosexuality and abortion will place on the fundamental values of our society and church in the future.
Perhaps, like the people of the Old Testament it is time to start crying out and acclaim with one voice: "O, COME DIVINE MESSIAH!" It is time to acknowledge that there is a need for God, there is a need for Charity-Love. As Catholic-Christians we are sure of the fact that JESUS IS THE WAY, THE TRUTH and THE LIFE; Jesus is the only answer to our needs.
Therefore, how much more vital it is for us Catholics to evengelize our society. But, I will say it is time for us Catholics to change our very selves first. We need to ask ourselves if Jesus is really present in us and through us? As with the late Pope John Paul 2, I agree that there is no better way to convert a pagan world then by setting examples by the way we live our Faith. There is no point for priests and religious to preach, when the very life of priests and religious at times do not reflect that of the Charity of Jesus. Let change began from within each of us-let change began in our Church community spreading out towards the nations as a light on a hill top brightening up a city.
My prayers and thoughts also go out to the fact that vocations to Priestly and Religious life is still decreasing very rapidly. In Malaysia the De La Salle Brothers clsoed one of the final major schools, due to the fact that there has been no vocations to replace out-going religious. Yes, I agree that the layties can do the jobs of the religious. But, through my experiences with the De La Salle Brothers I say with conviction that the layties can take the job of the religious, but layties can never replace the spirit those religious carry with them; I speak from my experience with the late Bro Ulrick Currie fsc. I do not blame this decrease on the fact that "the world is changing", sadly many within the church have also convinced themselves that the world is changing that so much effort is placed on conforming to the modern society. Thus, we need to once again cry with one voice, "O, COME DIVINE MESSIAH!" We are in need of Jesus!
As we journey through Advent 2010, let our minds be toward Jesus who calls us to LIFE. Jesus is our way, our truth and our life! Jesus is the answer for us as Catholic-Christians! As baptised disciples of Jesus, Jesus calls us to have Charity towards life in every stage of development; in the womb of a mother, as an infant, a youth, an adult and an elder. Let us be aware of the sanctity of life and recognize that the image and likeness of God the Father is in each individual.

Finally, I take this opportunity to wish each and all of you a very fruitly Advent and may Jesus be trully OUR WAY, OUR TRUTH and OUR LIFE at Christmas 2010. Let us be on fire and proclaim that Jesus HAS COME!

May God's blessing be on each of us!

In Christ, Francis and Clare,
Kenneth Gan

Make Up Your Minds!

2010-11-13T20:53:00.001+10:00

Make up your minds ahead of time

not to worry about how you will defend yourselves, because I will give you such words and wisdom that none of your enemies will be able to refute or contradict what you say.

You will be handed over by your parents, your brothers, your relatives, and your friends, and some will be put to death.

Everyone will hate you because of me.

But not a single hair from your heads will be lost.

Stand firm, and you will save yourselves.

Luke 21: 14-19

Gospel for the 33rd Sunday in Ordinary Time: Luke 21: 5-19

Have I made up my mind? On a first glance this request by Jesus can be taken very easily, our answer could be anywhere around the idea, "YA, I HAVE!" That is the catch, because this teaching by Jesus is made to his very disciple; his followers. We may wonder why? We may ask, "have not the disciples made up their mind?" Perhaps not? Look at the cross; only St John and the Mother of Jesus remained at the foot of the cross. The rest of the disciples were mere spectators.

So am I at the foot of the cross or a mere spectator sitting along the fence, undecided?

As I reflected on the request of Jesus to make up my mind, I think I first need to look at the word "MIND". What is my inner secret given by God that I need to remain faithful? What is that 'pearl of great price' and the 'lost coin' spoken by the Gospel that I need to safe guard with my life? For me my 'pearl of great price', my 'lost coin', my inner-self is a life in Christ; Christ is my all in all, my everything.

What will I get in return? Yes, my friends think I am crazy, my parents think I am mad, my parents think it is the work of satan, some Catholics think I am a 'traditionalist'. Not, easy to faithfully and honestly follow ones inner gift. Not easy to "make up your mind".

For years since my conversion to Catholicism in 1997 and taking private Vows to Jesus, all I ever wanted to do is to live in and for Christ. This is never easy, because as I matured I did doubt if this was ever right to do? We live in a world where we are measured by our status; how rich, job, materials. So, for me to have decided to remain committed to Jesus has been a very challenging experience and I gladly say I still move closer to the Love of Jesus despite the many obstacles.

Our world have more then enough of people who are materially rich, materially stable, materially full of worldly ideas. As the Pope has called, we do need more people to LIVE OUT THE FAITH. Perhaps, why the west are afraid of the Islamic burka/veil is because we cannot stand the idea of religion and of God.

So, have you really made up your mind?

St Mary of the Cross, MacKillop did make up her mind and she did suffer much for that. And so did Blessed Teresa of Calcutta and St Francis of Assisi; St Francis' friend spat at him and Francis' father took him to the Bishop. Aung San Suu Kyi has and she had remained faithful despite house arrest for almost 2 decades. I saw my friends' Facebook status and many are 'supporting' the release of Aung San Suu Kyi, but are these supporter really supporters? Are the supporters willing to walk the same road as Aung San Suu Kyi did?

Have I made up my mind? Am I willing to partake in the Cup of Suffering offered by Christ to his disciples?

I have but I still need further purification, all of us are weak- we are the greatest sinners. By the death of Jesus on the Cross we are saved, let us live out our Salvation by being authentic witnesses of Jesus because there is never ever any salvation outside the Catholic Faith; the Faith professed by the Apostles.

Pax tecum!

Cholera, Earthquakes and Tsunami, Floods! What next?

2010-11-10T10:01:00.000+10:00

Recently we have seen so much death, calamities, sadness, worries and pain effecting people in countries like Haiti, Indonesia and other parts of Asia. I am sure we have witness the simplicity of these people; many in Haiti were poor and sick, many were living in great uncertainty of the future and some were recovering.

I remembered when H1N1 virus hit Asia and Australia the government came up with all sort of precautions. We had things like temperature detectors placed at airports, we had advertisements to inform people of the symptoms of H1N1. In Asia many pigs and chicken were kills and burnt due to the fear that these animals were infected/carriers of the H1N1 virus.

We can see great differences between very poor countries like Haiti, and the developed countries.

As Catholics we must remember that the Good Lord protects, governs and provides us with the necessity means to achieve God's final plan. We call this God's Divine Providence. Not, easy to live according to this faith that the Lord has each of us under His Loving care. Not easy especially when we are in the shoes of the people in Haiti, Indonesia and parts of Asia.

Recently, I reflected on the reality of me living as a religious. I was thinking what the hell am I doing spending time in prayer, Church work, works of Mercy and serving the Church? What the hell am I doing when the rest of people out there are working hard for the economy?

Then I came to my senses that the role of Religious and priests are very important. I realised that I cannot measure myself to the way of the world; something I noticed is that the world is a harsh environment causing many people to measures their capabilities using the very wrong scope.

I started to realise that my work is as important to the work of those working just to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.

Seeing the responds of the people in Haiti to their cholera epidemic, just let me know that we can be rich even when we are poor. Looking at the earthquake and tsunami at Indonesia reminds me of the fragility of human life and the need to make full use of our gifts for the good of all.

Let us pray for our brothers and sisters in Haiti, Indonesia and parts of Asia.

Over Convinience?

2010-11-02T11:35:00.005+10:00

The Feast of All Saints (1st Nov) and Commemoration of All Souls (2nd Nov) are designed to focus the attention of Catholics on life after death. There are still good crowds at the Masses for both days, but for many Catholics the feasts are lost in the everyday rush. All of us should remember that we will die, and answer in love to our good God for our life.

(Cardinal George Pell, 2000)

As I read this article of Cardinal Pell written in 2000, my thoughts went back to those days I assisted my late grandmother in buying and folding prayer paraphernalia for the Chinese-Toaist festival of Hungry Ghost; a month the chinese believe that souls in hell are let loose. I remembered that during this month my grandmother will remind us of the need to watch our words and actions so as not to offend the souls from hell. My grandmother and I will offer incense and burnt paper offerings to the souls on the evening of the chinese Hungry Ghost Festival. I remember watching Chinese Opera by the road-side on evenings of this festival; I love those Operas, with their nice costumes and make-ups though I never understood a word they said.

Becoming Catholic, I did not connect this festival with the Feast of All Souls. Because to me Christianity is the only true religion and my old Buddhist religion must be put to death in my mind.

Sadly, over the years as Catholics the Feast of All Souls have been over simplified for the mere convenience of the 'modern' intellect. I remembered in the early days of my conversion to Catholicism names of the deceased were still openly mentioned at all Masses offered by the priest. Sadly, now this is omitted. Worst still the parish priest advised a parishioner that we no need to offer Mass for the Souls in Purgatory, but offer only Thanksgiving Mass for the life of the deceased; to me this is only partial truth. The consequence is I have now lost interest in offering money to the priest to say Mass for my deceased relatives.

For, me Feast of All Souls is very important for our Faith in Christ Jesus-important for our believe in the Beatific Vision, in life after death. The festival of All Souls reminds us of Christ's promise to all of humanity of the assurance of Salvation if we remain faithful to Jesus Christ. All Souls lifts our eyes and hearts once again to the reality that life is not everlasting, only God's Word is everlasting.

Today, I am glad I found time to pray the Office for the Dead, pray the Rosary and offer a candle in honour of All Souls. Someday, when I die others too will pray for me that by God's Will I may dwell in union with God in Heaven, adoring God together with all the angels, Saints and all the other souls of the faithful departed.

Prayer To The Holy Souls in Purgatory

Oh holy souls in purgatory, you are the certain heirs of heaven. You are most dear to Jesus as the trophies of His Precious Blood and to Mary, mother of mercy. Obtain for me through your intercession the grace to lead a holy life, to die a happy death and to attain to the blessedness of eternity in heaven.

Dear suffering souls, who long to be delivered in order to praise and glorify God in heaven, by your unfailing pity help me in the needs which distress me at this time, particularly (here mention your intention)...so that I may obtain relief and assistance from God.

In gratitude for your intercession I offer to God in your behalf the satisfactory merits of my prayer and work, my joys and sufferings of this day.

(Assist at Mass and have a Mass offered for them if possible. Offerings of the Precious Blood and the Way of the Cross are also powerful means of helping them and obtaining their help)

May the Souls of the Faithful Departed through the Mercy of God-Rest in Peace!

Salt+Light Youth Group 4th Anniversary

2010-10-30T06:37:00.004+10:00

As Salt+Light members gather today, 30th October, to close the month of the Rosary with Prayers, Devotion and fellowship I reflect on "WHY I HAVE GATHERED YOUTHS?"

Firstly, Salt+Light is not my group or any single individual's group. I did not start this formal group on my own ideas, own beliefs, own intentions. More importantly I have always let God have His ways; I listened to the moment and listened to the requests of all members. Salt+Light was never my intention, I never suggested that we meet monthly and organise social events. All I originally wanted was to say the Rosary and share the Scriptures during the month of October- Month of the Rosary. But, hey! God has His ways! In 2008, a number of students suggested I continue with such a gathering of University of Queensland students allowing Catholic Youths to gather to pray and reflect.

So, wala! In 2008 I suggested if we are serious, we need to name the group and have a small team of people to get the group moving. Unknowingly 15 to 20 people turned up during one of the meetings leading up to Easter 2008; there again I came without any ideas, or suggestion on names. I just allowed God to work among the students, and in a democratic spirit we agreed on the name SALT AND LIGHT, and came up with a number of objectives.

It has not been a totally smooth journey as we move on. At times I worried if this group will ever survive. I get worried about no members turning up. But, why I continue to be faithful is because of the inspiration of the late BRO ULRICK fsc. I remembered when I prayed the Rosary with Bro Ulrick, it was only me and him in the school chapel and at times we get another 1 or 2 students. That time I even self-made a poster to encourage students to come say the Rosary, but it was never successful. Why did I still faithfully say the Rosary with Bro Ulrick? Because I prayed the Rosary for God, I did not do that for myself or for fame.

Thus, even with Salt+Light I always encouraged the team members to work in unity. I think many of us tend to allow our own ideas to lead a religious group. For any religious group, we must remember it is God's work not our own capacity; we need to allow God to bring about His plans. That is why I always tell the Co-ordinator of the group to pray to God and Our Lady for the group. There needs to be the spirit of humility, peace, love and joy in the hearts of team members for Salt+Light and for anyone involved in leadership.

With Salt+Light my hope is that they meet together not only for friendship, but more importantly to grow together closer to Jesus Christ and His Holy Catholic Church. Why? Because life is so so so much more beautiful when Jesus is present in the centre of our life.

All I can say is, "LORD, HERE I AM! I HAVE COME TO DO THY HOLY WILL!"

The success of Salt+Light is never successful without the help of members and team leaders (Jean Seah , Susan Tham , Ernest Cheung, Cecilia Ryne (Newman) and myself). In little ways, when each of us do our part in the whole plan of God's Salvation we can bring about His Kingdom.

THANK YOU LORD, FOR THE PAST 4 YEARS OF BLESSINGS ON SALT+LIGHT!

MARY, PATRONESS OF SALT+LIGHT, PRAY FOR US!

A Good Advice:)

2010-10-27T14:12:00.005+10:00

Be joyful always, pray at all times, be thankful in all circumstances. That is what God wants from you in your life in union with Christ Jesus.
ST PAUL to the THESSALONIANS 5:16-18

Here St Paul was writing his final message to the church at Thessalonica, a beautiful message in deed to assist the church in remaining faithful to Christ as they wait for His return. But, this message does flow wider and deeper. I think this message does not only apply to the people/church of St Paul's time but even to our very day as we face the same struggles.

In a day and age when we live in the midst of great materialism, comfort and many good choices, we can tend to live in disbelief. The Biblical passage above has rather strong words- be JOYFUL ALWAYS, PRAY at all times and be THANKFUL in ALL circumstances.

In moments of pain, sickness, sufferings, doubts, distress and uncertainty to be joyful, to pray and to be thankful at all times can be a very challenging task. The bottom line, perhaps, can be about the way we value sufferings. Faith when lived in full communion with God, Scripture and Mother Church is life giving- Faith is the answer that overshadows our sickness, our pain, our sufferings. Faith is the light for our moments of darkness; ONLY IF WE DARE TO ALLOW THE LIGHT OF FAITH TO ENLIGHTEN OUR DARKNESS. The light is there, but how as baptised Catholics we make use of the Light of Faith depends on how willing we are to respond to the person of God, Son and Spirit?

There is always a possibility to always be joyful, to pray and be thankful if we allow God to be our all in all!

In Australia seeing Geraldine, the presenter of Compass on ABC, seeing her indirect attack on the Church is sickening. Perhaps, sometimes rather then fighting a constant war within the Church, all sides in the Church do need to take St Paul's message to heart; be JOYFUL, PRAY and be THANKFUL at all times. Then perhaps rather then us doing the job, we allow God to be God in our midst today. The Church must be a place of healing, love and forgiveness, where everyone is accepted in Justice and Peace.

DEUS MEUS ET OMNIA~ ST FRANCIS OF ASSISI

The Path of a Servant

2010-10-24T09:14:00.005+10:00

It is amazing how God works with each of us? God comes and meet each of us in our very unique circumstances, God comes as He is and transforms our life into His very life of Grace. Ever since coming to Australia in 2001 I have only been surrounded by fun loving students asking me to form prayer groups.

Looking at the students of the University of Queensland and meeting them at a monthly basis is a blessing. Creating opportunities for the youths to meet, to inspire one another and to grow has not come easy but through a lot of prayer, work and collaborations. Furthermore, the greatest challenge for the group is accepting each other as they are.

The presence of the Jesuit Fathers at Newman's Beatification Ball 2010, reminded me of the late Bro Ulrick Currie; Bro Ulrick is a De La Salle Brother whom I worked and prayed with very closely during my high school days. These Religious men are really servants of God, servants of the people of God. Last night I saw how these Jesuits who are both chaplains to ACSA and Newman were given very ordinary roles at he ball; they were not praised, presented with any gifts. It reminded me of Bro Ulrick who worked so hard for the school and the blind youths but was never given a pay cheque, praised or congratulated.

These religious men walk side by side the students whom they minister to, they are really servants of Christ.

I wonder if this is the path in life that I want? A path as a servant, perhaps even worst then a servant as servants are paid!

But, yes, I want to walk with humanity. I want to walk side by side those who are seeking, those who are knocking and those who are asking. As I get ready to enter the Franciscan Order I think the greatest hardship I will have is in leaving my dear youths behind. This is the most painful for me, to leave Salt+Light behind.

Are you daring enough?

2010-10-19T08:59:00.005+10:00

It is a very touching reality that we Catholics, while praying the 4th Decade of the Sorrowful Mystery prays for the grace to carry "Our Daily Crosses". Yet, it is only very recently that I managed to have a better understanding of this reality of crosses in our life. It is only very recently I woke up and told myself, if I want to the faithful to the Lord, I need to first accept my daily cross.

Crosses= hardships, disappointments, weaknesses, doubts, worries...All of us have these little crosses that walks into our lives knowingly or unknowingly. Depending of the individual these crosses can either cripple the individual or make the individual strong/positive. The failure to realise that crosses are truly CROSSES, coming from God, coming from reality, can weakened us. Failure or the unwillingness to see crosses as GRACE FROM GOD can make us frighten, timid, shameful, worried. Yet, I am sure if we are willing to be like the Saints, we can be joyful disciples of Christ everyday under every circumstances.

So, if you have a cross in your life never frown but continue to SMILE. Why smile? SMILE because you have been saved by Grace at baptism, so do not live like the pagans. SMILE because we are a people of Hope! SMILE because Jesus is in us! SMILE because Jesus loves us!

SMILE BECAUSE THE CROSS WE BEAR CAN NEVER BE COMPARED TO THE ETERNAL HAPPINESS. CROSSES ARE SHORT LIVED!

May out daily response always be, "LORD I COME TO DO YOUR WILL!"

St Mary of the Cross

2010-10-16T22:05:00.004+10:00

Tomorrow, 17th of October marks a great celebration for Australia. Australia tomorrow is blessed with the celebration of the canonisation of Blessed Mary MacKillop to be among the Saints; Mary MacKillop will now be worthy to be venerated, be an example and mentioned at the Altar of God. Tomorrow after the formal words of canonisation Mary MacKillop will be proclaimed by Pope Benedict as St Mary of the Cross.

What a great celebration! For myself I will be celebrating the day among the students of the University of Queensland. I feel so blessed to be among, to guide, to inspire the students to live their life for Jesus Christ. Just like St Mary of the Cross, I hope myself and many others will make Jesus and His Cross the centre of their very life.

My very attention is for Australia as a nation, I hope St Mary of the Cross will be an inspiration for all Australians to bring God back into their life. I pray there will be greater respect for life in all stages from conception to natural death, for an increase in good and holy vocations, for more humbly and genuine participation by many at Church, inspire unbelievers to believe and more respect for each other.

ST MARY OF THE CROSS-ORA PRO NOBIS!

GO AUSTRALIA GO GO GO!

Why say "THANK YOU?"

2010-10-12T13:35:00.002+10:00

Just as in the Old Testament times, we dare not forget the teachings or principals we have learned. Not only kindliness, but loyalty to this tradition must be tied around our neck, and written on the tablets of our heart. We are servants of this faith, bound in duty to preserve it intact, whether we like it or not.

(Cardinal George Pell, 3 Dec 1977)

Recently, the whole idea of why as a Catholic Christian we are people who constantly say, "THANK YOU!" Came to my mind. We Catholics have a very humble and sweet tradition of saying prayers before meals, thanksgiving prayers in the mornings and evenings, and even the word Eucharist we celebrate each day comes from the Greek word, THANKSGIVING.

I wonder why? I wonder if I, and the billions of Catholics, do really give thanks? Do we know what it means to give thanks in Catholicism?

At first I found it rather hard to justify why I give thanks? Today, as I continue reflecting on this mystery, I recall my conversion experiences. On my journey to become a disciple of Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Saints came very naturally. Perhaps, why I was drawn to give thanks to God is the fact that I have tasted Eternal Life; the life to come at the end of this life.

For us, when we read the Bible, we can clearly see a pattern between the Old Testament and the New Testament. We can see Christianity's way of life, is a way of life that originates in suffering, hardship, persecution. Just like life today, we have to undergo various ups and downs to come someday to the identify of ourselves; an identity of the self (in the context of our call to be disciples) with Christ as the foundation. Then when we find our identity in Christ, we thus become a saved people-saved by the redeeming love of Christ on the Cross.

Each of us, baptised, share in the Kingdom of God here and now. To honestly say thank you, we must first be willing to make a decision to follow Jesus. If not, saying "thank you God" will only be similar to the thank you we say to our neighbours when we receive something.

Thus, like the individuals of the Bible, we too must be willing to begin from one end of the tunnel and come out a totally different person on the other end of the tunnel. Then we can honestly say, "THANK YOU GOD!" When we say, "thank you god", we say that from the heart, a heart that has experienced the cross and the redemptive Love of Jesus.

So, perhaps when you next say, "THANK YOU GOD" ask yourself why do you say it? Are you truly grateful? Are you truly happy, content? Does what you receive generate life not only for yourself but for others?

Pax tecum!

Who is my Alpha and Omega; my Beginning and my End?

2010-10-08T07:29:00.004+10:00

"Watch out and guard yourselves from every kind of greed; because your true life is not made up of the things you own, no matter how rich you may be."

"You fool! This very night you will have to give up your life; then who will get all these things you have kept for yourself?"

Luke12 15,20

I was supposed to be reflecting on the Gospel Reading of the Day from Luke 11: 15-26, unknowingly I read chapter 12 instead. But hey, it turned out for the best because it relates back to my experience of the previous night.

Last night, I decided to spent some quiet moment of silence before I begin my usual Night Prayer from the Divine Office. I sat before the altar. Relaxed, meditating on my day, speaking internally. As I did all that, I experienced a deep peace- peace that comes when we have a one-to-one relationship with God. As humanity we do spent a lot of time working for success; sadly it is not only success but PERSONAL SUCCESS, personal glorification. Whether we are aware of this fact or not, it just takes an honest self examination.

And as I sat in silence, the inner peace was just overwhelming, and I thought why do I need to spent to much time in 'noise'? So very often I see myself involved with the television, computer, work, running around to get errands done, exercise...All these fills up our day to day activities. I am sure your's is not very much different to mine?

The funny thing is that recently I believe many of us witnessed the events surrounding the Pope during his trip to UK. News about child abuse, that is very good, but the stupid thing is that we had also news about protest against the church's understanding of condom, same sex marriage and women's 'rights'. Perhaps just too many of us are living in 'noise' that we so often fail to realise the message of God; the message for LIFE. So, hey thank God for the Pope that constantly reminds us of the message of God!

The Gospel of Luke, the Bible does not tell us to live in intense poverty; the Bible is not calling us to just spent our days lazing around, praying, hoping for heaven. On the very contrary Jesus, and also the Church, calls us to work hard, live life to the full and be stewards of the earth. But, on one condition never forget our relationship with God and with one another; we very often need to go back to the experiences of the Garden of Eden, the perfect union of man and woman, in harmony with the Creator. This experience of the Garden is the pearl that all Christian seek; our eventual eternal union with God at the end of time.

Therefore as I run around with my busy schedule I am thanking to the Holy Spirit for the gift of prayer; this reminds me that I am only human, and no matter how much I have on earth there is something much more deeper and important. I pray I never lose sight of what is important.

The experience of the Garden of Eden, where humanity is in harmony with God, is my Alpha and Omega.

Fragmentated!

2010-10-04T10:12:00.005+10:00

To follow the path of Jesus, the way of the Gospel, is never an easy one. Why?

It is first of all a decision to follow the path of the cross; to undergo suffering of all sorts for the sake of the Kingdom. The late John Paul2 call it the GOLDEN path of the cross.
You aught to be crazy! To follow the Gospel is to be a sign of contradiction to the many established ideologies set by the world.
To be willing to take on the christian understanding of servanthood.

Even for St Francis of Assisi, a son to a rich cloth merchant in Italy, giving up the glory that was offered to him by his career in the Knighthood was not easy. Even some 800 years ago to rely on a religious dream and make a firm decision based on a dream was looked down by many in his town; many people in his town spat on the poor beggar St Francis. Even Francis' dad got so fed-up that he demanded St Francis to pay for the cloths that Francis has given to the poor. This made St Francis stripped himself in public and severed his ties with his earthly father, St Francis said, "now I have only one Father, who is in heaven".

So, that is the cost of discipleship. How do we judge others? How do we judge failures and successes? Am I willing to be pruned, to spent years in the furnace, in order to be purified by God's Love? This purification is very necessary if we are serious to follow, with complete commitment, the ways of the Gospel.

Without undergoing the furnace of purification, we will fail to become a purified diamond.

Happy Feast of St Francis or Assisi!

Superstitions, Mysteries, Sense of the Sacred?

2010-09-29T12:31:00.003+10:00

I just returned to Queensland after spending a week in contemplation and apostolic work with a group of Franciscan Friars. The house the Friars lived was really a religious house that is marked by proper liturgy, intense prayer and devotion to Our Lady and the Saints. The Franciscan Friars lived a life marked by a very healthy balance of work, penance and prayer.

This afternoon as I prayed my holy rosary, I was thinking about the areas of mystery. I was wondering have our modern age led many, including myself, to compromise on the understanding of mystery; the mystery I am talking about covers the area of superstitions and sense of sacred (for a Latin Rite Liturgy). As I prayed, I opened my eyes occasionally to the holy image of Our Mother of Perpetual Help at my side altar with a lighted candle.

As I look at the image, a traditional image that will be normally seen in the Catholic Religious shops, Catholic homes and the web-site. My mind shifted as I prayed, wondering the whole idea of mystery in the Catholic religion. I compared the traditional image, with the whole idea of the modern self created image of statues and images with a more 'modern twist'; I was thinking of the modern creation seen at St Stephen's Cathedral, Brisbane.

I was wondering if the modern age understanding of God (images/statues/party-type worship) is better for people today or the really Catholic type of understanding?

As I prayed the rosary, I reflected on this question. Deep in my heart I made a decision that both the modern and Catholic way of understanding have good things to offer. I continued to reflect. Looking at the holy image in front of me, with our Lady dressed in fine clothes like a queen, holding the Child Jesus, with a pair of Angels. The picture immediately portrays a glorious Mother Mary and Jesus; it shows clearly the glory of God in the person of Mary and Jesus as Lord.

Perhaps, the modern artistic portrays could be right in saying that we need a more humble down to earth portrays of Saints, God and Angels for todays people?

I continued my praying and reflecting, looking at the image in front of me occasionally. And seeing the traditional portray of Our Lady and Child Jesus, it gives me the extra challenge to dive into deeper reflection to discover why Our Lady/ Saint were graced by God to live such outstanding lives? As I dived deeper into reflection I recall the humility of Mary, the faith of Mary, Mary's trust in Divine Providence...The traditional method of art gives us the WHOLE PACKAGE; God is in the art.

In contrast, I reflect on the more modern art as like those in St Stephen's Cathedral, and I was thinking to myself that God's Glory is missing in those art. I was thinking such modern art is highly suitable only for an Art Museum and to Catholics who have matured in their faith; such modern art is not suitable for non-catholics or people of other faiths. No doubt the modern art looks 'up-to-date', portraying an ever human Saint, but such modern art fails to feed the eyes of faith of humanity; you don't see God's Glory in the person the art is depicting.

Something much deeper, something that reaches the Divine, is just missing in majority of modern art in Catholic places of prayer these days.

So, what do you think?

Br Kenneth Gan

Pope Benedict's UK Trip

2010-09-18T07:25:00.002+10:00

As a convert to Catholicism another component that assist and nourishes my faith is in the person of the Holy Father, The Pope, Vicar of Christ on earth. Coming from a Buddhist-Pentecostal background I have always been convinced that the Pope is a lasting and sure component that makes the Church a real and true church. I have always loved watching videos of ceremonies surrounding the Pope on Youtube, CNN, newspapers and EWTN.

Yet, very often we see some groups who protest against the Pope; from matters from women priests, gay rights, woman rights, condoms.

Personally to me, I must admit where ever I go I witness people who have been hurt by people in high morale positions- namely our priests, religious and bishops. One of the main issue I believe is the lack of knowledge of the Person of Jesus Christ. My experiences at Holy Spirit Seminary was one that confirms my feelings and understanding; it is all only about a SYSTEM, as the Rector says, "best priest possible" and "good priest" (where is the good and holy?).

For me, to heal the very heart of the church I believe that priest, religious and people in positions in the church need urgently to cultivate a heart of Christ; a compassionate loving heart. A heart that is in parallel with those suffering. I have always seen how playing a mere system/ritual is devastating; seeing the breakdown of the efforts of Vatican 2 where religious left their Orders, today even people are still unhappy with Mass becoming like a mere community party event. This just shows clearly that the hearts of priests, religious and laity are just not grounded in a personal relationship with Jesus.

For me, Scripture, Tradition and Mother Church are very important, but must not be merely seen as mere ritual or political component. As a Roman Latin Rite Catholic Scripture, Tradition (even traditions) and Mother Church are vitally important that keeps me a Roman Catholic-Christian.

Thus, let us safe guard the great heritage we inherited from the Apostles. As members of the True Church, let us not only hold tightly onto Scripture, Tradition (and traditions) and Mother Church, but live out a faith that is inspired by Christ in the Word of Scripture, assisted by Tradition (and tradition) and Mother Church.

Br Kenneth Gan

A Tribute to Bro. Ulrick Currie fsc

2010-09-13T13:05:00.005+10:00

Sometime this month marks the anniversary of Bro Ulrick's fsc passing from this life to the next; I can't remember the exact day in September which Bro Ulrick passed away, as his memorial card is in Malaysia. Bro Ulrick passed away when I was in form 3, which means is around 10 over year ago. Bro Ulrick was a good and holy De La Salle Brother, that I mysteriously met the day I came into St Xavier's Institution (SXI), Penang, Malaysia.

Bro Ulrick- the holy man in cassock, Rosary and the Crucifix

My journey with Bro Ulrick all along my time in SXI till his passing away when I was in form 3, was a beautiful journey. I fondly remembered the cold early mornings, when the sky was still pitch black, Ee Ju, Joseph and myself will wait patiently in front of the tall grill gate that leads into the Brother's Quarters and Chapel. Around 10 minutes before 7am, we are able to see the blind Bro Ulrick coming out of his dark room and hear the taps made by his stick on the school's ground and wall. He will then wish each of the 3 of us boys good morning and address each of us in our names, he opens the gate and we 3 boys were so happy to begin our day with Bro Ulrick. Joseph and myself will go off to the chapel to pray the Rosary with Bro Ulrick, while Ee Ju will be in Bro Ulrick's room helping with Bro Ulrick's work with the blind.

Oh, I miss those mornings! Everyday faithfully 5 days a week, I will be so excited to pray the Rosary with Bro Ulrick. The amazing thing is even on mornings, which in my case made up of only 1%, when Joseph or myself are late or are absent Bro Ulrick will pray the Rosary alone in the Chapel, in the dark. Bro Ulrick was very faithful to the Rosary, though he never mentioned/thought us anything about the Rosary; Bro Ulrick showed the goodness and power of the Rosary through concrete daily living examples.

One day, he showed me a rather medium-large size of a crucifix that he carries around in the pocket of his cassock. It was a little rusty and he mentioned to me personally that it is the cross that the Brothers wear; which I know during Bro Ulrick's time and today is lost, I don't think the De La Salle Brothers, which are very very few in Malaysia, even carry around anymore?

Another powerful witness Bro Ulrick gave, again not by words but by living example, was his faithfulness to his Vocation; Bro Ulrick faithfully wore the white cassock. Bro Ulrick is always seen in his cassock every time when he is in the school compound, and even in public. Today, I can never see any Brothers wearing the cassock anymore, not even when they are in Church attending Mass.

Bro Ulrick with CHEECO and the blind

Another powerful, yet so simple example of Catholic Faith, was Bro Ulrick's work with CHEECO and the blind. CHEECO is a Catholic Magazine of the school that is produced during the year; CHEECO contains articles of Faith and basic Catholic living teachings. Bro Ulrick manages CHEECO with the help of a group of students; I still remembered a year when CHEECO managed to have such high quality artist that managed to create life with the magazine. To me CHEECO is a vital blessing to the SXI school community in order to keep a little Faith shining in a school whereby government suppresses the dwindling number of Brothers and their work. With Bro Ulrick's passing, CHEECO passes away too; I pray someday somehow someone can bring back this little blessing to SXI, which is now completely under the Malaysian Government after the retirement of the final Bro Director.

Each day in school, when ever I had free time I will run off to Bro Ulrick's room to assist him with his work with the blind; he types Braille. Each day Bro Ulrick manages a roster to bring in students to help him with reading pages from a book into a radio, he will then rely on the taped voices to type the Braille. Sometimes during recess, Bro Ulrick will have a student by him who will read as he types the Braille.

Bro Ulrick my mentor during my conversion to Roman Catholicism

Bro Ulrick is such a humble, simple and a man of very few words when it came to religion. Yet, somehow I asked him to teach me the Catholic Faith. Once a week, during school hours I will go privately to his room where he thought me the Faith. It seems he has 1 or 2 students and outside individuals who came to him occasionally to prepare for baptism. I was so happy to had Bro Ulrick present by me during my baptism in 1997.

Bro Ulrick God's Faithful Servant

When I think of my dear Bro Ulrick, I remember his work; his work during prayer, living out his Vocation, work with the blind, Faith education, walking with me to the Cathedral every First Friday of the Month. I remember Bro Ulrick and his work because Bro Ulrick worked and worked till the very day he passed away due to cancer.

I still remembered the time I visited Bro Ulrick at the Little Sisters of the Poor, Home for the Aged where Bro Ulrick was being cared for by the Sisters. While visiting Bro Ulrick with my mother one afternoon, the Rosary was prayed by the Sisters in the Chapel, a daily prayer of the Rosary done by the Sisters. Bro Ulrick was in bed, praying he Rosary together with the Sisters and the aged through a loud speaker. I knew the Rosary was going on as I could hear the Rosary being recited through the speaker, but as a courtesy Mum and I decided to greet Bro Ulrick. When I greeted Bro Ulrick he shut me up politely, he said, "The Rosary is going on!" Bro Ulrick was such a faithful men!

Bro Ulrick, you will always be my mentor, inspirer and spiritual director!

Today, not to mention the dwindling numbers of Priests and Religious, is also a great DECLINE in good and holy Vocations. Many today emphasis only on being 'good', while the holy part is often of less weight. Today, I can hardly easily come across individuals of such goodness and holiness as that of Bro Ulrick.

Bro. Ulrick I wished you are still alive today, with you by my side I am sure I am able to become a good and holy Franciscan. Bro Ulrick, please remember my prayer request I made to you at your grave the very day when I first left Malaysia to begin studies in Australia, 2000/2001.

I prayed to Bro Ulrick at his grave: "PRAY THAT MY VOCATION TO SERVE GOD DOES NOT GO LOST".

Bro Ulrick, I thank God for the privileged he has given me to meet such a hardworking and faithful man. I believe my journey with you on earth will lead me far towards the future.

BRO ULRICK-MAY YOU REST IN PEACE!

Nativity of the Blessed Virgin

2010-09-08T15:07:00.003+10:00

Woke up early this morning to pray the Divine Office and to attend Holy Mass in honour of the Nativity of the Blessed Virgin. Happy Birthday Blessed Virgin Mary!

As I observed this holy feast day of the Virgin Mary I was fascinated by the many mysteries that Mary experienced in her life; the mystery of her conception to St Anne and St Joachim, conceived without Original Sin, the message from St Gabriel to be the mother of the Word Incarnate, the trials she underwent in the ministry of Jesus, the suffering and death of Jesus her son on the cross, the resurrection and the formation of the church of Jesus. Mary's life was marked by the mysteries of God, the mystery of life; Mary was faithful to both the painful and happy moments.

This year I come to focus on the lively faith of Mary; Mary was at every point in her life living for God alone.

Yesterday evening, a friend asked me about, "WHY RELIGION?" This friend of mine is a baptised Anglican, but due to church politics chose not to practice any religion. I can agree with him, that there are many politics within the church that ends up suppressing, hurting and neglecting people inside the church.

I guess something that the church, all of us, must learn is why do we chose Jesus Christ as saviour and redeemer? I told my friend, when I was asked "why religion?" I responded to the question that personally to me God is God, religion to me is not politics but about a way of life. If it is about politics, about making a stand in church, then I added to my friend, perhaps that is why many people seem not to be active in religion. I mentioned that religion, when people chose to have religion, it is about people searching for something more deeper; healing, truth, love.

In seminary during the first semester, in front of a class, a lay woman formator asked us students, "is not Catholicism about politics?" I did not agree with her on this. Yes, no doubt as Catholic Christians we are often asked in sermons to act for 'justice'; to do good, to help the oppressed. But, to me I do not consider these acts of justice as 'political'. For me, Catholicism gives us a challenge-a challenge to live by the Commandment of Charity that Jesus Himself gave.

Perhaps, this is why religion in the world today is still not a hot topic among the intellectuals, politicians, parents and young people. Perhaps this is why Holy and good Religious and Priests are still visibly missing in action in the many Catholic Schools, Hospitals and other areas of charity.

For me I hope people in the world will discover Jesus as Saviour and Redeemer. I pray that churches will be more founded on the Love of Jesus, rather than empty 'political standing'.

The Virgin Mary lived her Faith in such great action, a Faith that was cloth with deep godly humility. In her many appearances on earth, Mary is still founded to be active in her humble Faith; Mary is always telling us to Love the Lord, Love one another, conversion.

I hope for us who do claim to be practicing Catholics, do mean it when we make this claim. Let us truly be Salt and Light on the face of the earth so that others may see the Grace of God in action in the world today. Let us proclaim Christ, and not be proclaiming some political ideas.

Let us go to Church and live as Catholics as true disciples of Jesus, and not for some mere 'political' agenda.

Let us look to the Virgin Mother, the Queens of Saints, in Mary is the greatest example of living as a believer of God.

Pax tecum!

It is a CHOICE!

2010-09-04T21:18:00.008+10:00

Those who come to me cannot be my disciples unless they love me more than they love father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, and themselves as well.

Luke 14:26

I am sure many of us have heard the slogan, "LIFE IS NEVER EASY." But, have we ever really pondered the deep meaning behind this statement? Have we ever asked ourselves why is this statement so relevant that so many use this statement easily?

The 23rd Sunday in Ordinary Time, the Gospel taken from Luke 14: 25-32 speaks about the cost of discipleship. And if we read the Gospel passage, yes life as a disciple is not easy; life as a believer of Jesus is after all not an easy one. We need to be able to surrender totally to the Lord and learn to be a mere humble instrument; the purpose of the Lord comes first for a true disciple.

For me I continue to hold with certainty that the greatest achievement I have ever achieved is in KNOWING JESUS; converted and baptised in 1997 after a mysterious journey of 3 years. Discovering the Truth in life is most wonderful because I have had an experience of Heaven; an experiences of the Divine comes rarely and only happens, at most, once in a lifetime.

Today, was a tiring yet a very spiritually enriching day. The whole of today was spent with the Church; attended Holy Mass in honour of the First Saturday of the Month, Salt+Light Youth Meeting and visited Padre Pio's relic. After all this I meet 2 strangers and we ended up talking about Christianity.

I meet a young Baptist man who was very friendly and I talked to him about Christianity. He was a local Australian who is active in his local Baptist Church. Out of curiosity I asked the stranger, "many Australians are giving up on religion, why do you still practice your religion?" And he simple replied, "TO KNOW JESUS MORE!" After the short, but powerful talk we parted and I wished him, "GOD BLESS YOU!" And he said, "THANK YOU, BROTHER!"

Next, I met a young Australian Catholic youth. This time it is totally different because he is baptised and confirm a Catholic, but is not practicing the faith. He told me, "I DO NOT KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE?" We talked and I shared with the youth who enjoys fishing, that I too have doubts about God and religion at times. But, the beauty thing for me is I am a convert to Catholicism and I have had a real taste of the Divine; I am certain something somewhere what many name as "GOD" does exist in life. I shared with him my conversion experiences, the youth then asked about natural disasters as "acts of God", the Big Bang theory, evolution and religion.

Being a disciple of Jesus requires me to be sincere, humble and to be able to speak divine Truth. And yes the Gospel has warned us that this is never an easy task. Are we willing through simple meeting of strangers proclaim the Lord Jesus Christ? And more importantly to proclaim Christ with a converted life and not with mere christian knowledge?

iPod nano

2010-09-03T11:08:00.002+10:00

I was told yesterday, by a friend, that iPod nano is now on sale. And the first thing that comes to my mind is, "errr....hhmmm..." I am not into anything like iPod, whereby I will need to stick a gadget into my ear and around my arm; that is what iPod does. Firstly, I appreciate my eardrums and want to have an average hearing to last me till death. So, iPod is a big no no for me.

iPod nano, when i heard the word "NANO" the idea of something tiny, small, artistic, highly technological comes to mind. And yes, I was told that this tiny gadget has a very high memory capacity; it can store large amount of music. Wow!

This is our life today folks! Everything is becoming smaller and insignificant to the human senses. Aware or not, this is our society whereby we want everything to ourselves without much involvements with other people; we desire things that is personal and comfortable.

Today, I am observing devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Miracles still do happen today, and I am convinced of this. Though miracles today seem to become 'more rare' to the human senses, I am sure God is still present in a society whereby people are striving to become more and more individualistic.

Just as a good number , not majority, of people rely on high-tech technologies such as iPod nano let us too hang on to our Faith, Hope and Love. As religion too become more and more invisible to the human senses, such as iPod nano, let us strive to depend on Faith, Hope and Love as much as we depend on technologies.

Sacred Heart of Jesus-I Trust in You!

Rocklea Market and the Human Mind

2010-08-28T22:35:00.003+10:00

Today, after attending Latin Mass in memory of St Augustine I went to Rocklea Markets with Ernest. I was rather surprised that Ernest invited me to go grocery shopping at the open market, because Ernest is not one that is as out going as me. Occasionally I do love visiting the open markets-there is just so much culture that can be observed at the markets; food, people, life style.

Being there I am always attracted to the garden section of the market; everytime I come across a nursery I will stop and observe each type of plant, thinking deep in my mind "which one should I buy?" Yet, at in my very own backyard garden I have ample of potted and ground plants. So, on the other area of my brain I am saying, "no, I should not dare buy any plants."

There is this constant struggle between a "YES" and a "NO" deep down my mind everytime I am at an open market.

Just the same with the start of my day today. I woke up as usual early, 5.45am to be exact, all because of Pray. Yes, again there is a struggle; this time an INTERNAL (heart-to-heart) struggle. It is the weekend afterall, why pull myself out of bed for Jesus? Again I struggle between a "YES" and "NO". After saying all my prayers, I came down to the kitchen hoping for a nice weekend breakfast. I checked the time, it was already 6.30am, and Mass is at 8am and I must observe the 1 hour fast. Oh, dear! Again I need to struggle internally, "must I do this for God?" Why skip a nice weekend breakfast for church?

Humans are very complex living beings. Yes, God the Father created us lovingly with full capacity; here one of the capacities I like to stress is the capacity for good. We are able to make decisions, we can discern and judge. Our only difficulty is so often we allow our flesh to take over; we allow so called rational thinking to take over. Perhaps, when it comes to cases of spirituality like fasting, performing charity and getting up at early fixed time for prayers, we may wonder "WHY THE NEED TO DO SO?"

Yes, I too do have many of those moments. But, if we judge our life we can see that so often hard decisions to be made are decision that will effect our comfort, our leisure, our free will.

So, why do I allow myself to be dictated by organised prayer times and church requirements for Communion Fast? I will say it is all because of LOVE. I will rather allow myself to be structured around Wisdom, Love, Peace, Joy; TRUTH of the Gospel. Why so? Because in all our existence there is only one Eternal Truth, and HE is Jesus Christ; and Jesus challenged us to LOVE. It is all about LOVE!

Why allow my life to be controlled by the flesh? Why allow our life to be dictated by the rituals of the wider business community; more time to earn more money to the expense of ill treating ourselves and others? Why allow my Obedience to Jesus be dictated by social standards and weekend leisure routines? All these are temporal, and very often are death in disguise; we don't gain lasting truth from worldly standards.

Thus, thank God that I have always made the firm decision to allow my life to be beautified by Jesus Christ. If I did not come to know Jesus in 1997, I must say today I will be a living zombie just like the majority int he world; living outwardly but internally very dead.

So, who do you follow today? There are really only 2 possible answers- JESUS (LOVE) or YOURSELF?

Br Kenneth Gan

Having Too Much

2010-08-27T12:58:00.002+10:00

I was watching BBC programs titled 'Wild China' and 'Ganges'; both documentaries were superb documentaries concerning culture, origins and environment surrounding China and the river Ganges. Beautiful depiction of the life of human beings in relationship with their environment; how humans and nature live together-human relies on nature for resources and how humans were inspired by nature to thirst for more.

In both documentaries the endings were horrible! Human are having far too much, leading towards a culture of pollution, shrinking nature reserves for wildlife, over population, rising river levels, extinction of some species of plants and animals. At the same time that this is happening cities like Shanghai are booming, population are expected to rise with people coming from rural china, increase farming along the Ganges- it is all about human becoming richer with cash and valuables.

Wow!

I did wonder at one stage of life, if it is really important for me to have a genuine concern in relation to the environment I am living in? Like many, I live in an urban environment; surrounded by parks and concrete buildings; having all I need just around me. I wonder was it really necessary to live the life of those who lived 1000 years ago; healthy environment, balance reliance on nature. Today, I am busy running my own business. Like many, we are busy working. Why do we do so? For many just to get rich, just to get the 'status' of a 'reliable-productive-human'.

I guess it depends on how we see life; on how we measure success.

History teaches us a lot; communism, socialist, enlightenment are the many eras that marked our human existence. For me, if we human are going to go through destruction of not only nature, but worst still human life, I will say I rather remain the unfamous St Francis of Assisi; the poverello-the poor stupid Francis.

What is the point for me to strive for human measured 'success' if it will mean poorer personal health, major destruction of wild life, lower standard of population rise, ignorance of reality of human existence, ever vanishing awareness of the Spiritual, vanishing community spirit?

Right now my only contact and contribution to the environment I owe so much to is my tendency to recycle, minimise use of electricity and my interest in gardening and pets.

St Francis of Assisi, patron Saint of ecology- Ora Pro Nobis!

It's the Cold

2010-08-24T10:32:00.003+10:00

A couple of weeks ago I managed to make 'pok chant'; a local Penangite delicacy. 'Pok chant' is a sweet savoury dish, basically the outher layer is like crepe, inside it is filled with fresh sweet coconut, crushed ground nuts and brown sugar. I made them for Magdelines bbq dinner at her place in Toowong.

I wonder what is wrong with the state of the Qld church? I have been attending Mass at Corinda and it is always like a 'market place'! Noise, noise, noise! Chitter chatter! I wonder if the church building afterall a house of God, or simple just a meeting place for Christians? I must admit the Pentecostals and Christians are doing better in worshipping, praising and honoring God compared to the dwindling Catholics. I wonder why we Catholics have failed to draw in the numbers? Perhaps, we need to seriously look at what are we offering to the people today. Too much time Priests and Religious have tried to offer something that is 'common', but maybe people who do not practice their Faith want something a little more extraordinary; a little more authentic, mystical, only to be found in Church.

I have been having cold for the past few days. The worst part of it all is the blocked nose and body ache that prevents me from having a healthy composure to spent long time in Daily Prayer and Rosary; managed to chip in a reasonable amount of time for Prayer.

The message of Jesus is hard and tough-to deny ourselves, carry our cross daily and FOLLOW HIM is not an easy task. It is not only a matter of Faith, but more importantly the invitation of Jesus is placed upon us freely to act upon; it is about putting Faith into action.

Not an easy task! If we look at the Saints, many had to die and suffer for what they stood for in Jesus. And yes, Christianity is in no doubt a way of life, a religion, born out of a suffering nation; the nation of Isreal, the promise people of God.

Yet, in all our sufferings and struggles we experience in life,wheather it be sickness, persecution, illness, if we remain Faithful to the covenant of Jesus we ultimately become people REDEEMED by Christ! The fullness of the Salvation promised by Jesus comes at the end of our days when we are successful in fighthing the good fight and living the Faith.

Keep the flame of God's Love alive where ever we are!

Don's Halloway's Conversion to Catholicism

2010-08-20T16:08:00.003+10:00

Today I spent sometime watching a DVD on Fr Don Halloway's conversion to Catholicism; seeing how a man like him who was under drugs, girls, and an unhealthy life style finally becoming a Catholic Marian Priest. He took a different path, a path for the better through the Catholic Church, after reading a book on Our Lady of Medjugorje.

As I listened and watched the DVD about his conversion, it reminded me of my very own conversion to Catholicism. My stories were very much in similar lines with Fr Don Halloway who is now a Marian Priest in America. Just amazing! Just superb!

For those of you who doubt the existance of God and see religion as worthless, I must say God does exist! I was never interested in religion and God, but God came in search of me to the extend that I fell so love with God.

Mary our Mother is the best example of Christian Perfection-if you desire to know how to live a Christ-like way of life I will say look to Mary. Go to Mother Mary, pray to Mary, read the life of Jesus and Mary will show us how to abandone ourselves to Jesus her son.

Mary is the surest way to Jesus Christ!

Self Mortification? Ouch! But, praise God!

2010-08-17T14:38:00.004+10:00

I guess when we speak of flagellation- we speak of pain and suffering. Flagellation is one of the ways of self-mortification observed by numerous Saints in the past and holy Catholic individuals today.

The Christian way of life, is a religion born out of suffering; the suffering exiles of Israelites. If we look at the Word of God, the Bible, we constantly experience suffering (exile, destruction) and the need for redemption; the Promised Messiah Jesus Christ finally came and redeemed the people of God.

Do we wonder why some Saints are portrayed holding or have a deadly skull (/s) in their portays? Skulls are the symbol used by the painters to signify the Saint's believe in self mortification. When I first came to the knowledge of the whole idea of self-mortification, especially self-mortification done by Saints, I am filled with AWE! I am filled with a Holy joy-fear kind of feeling, not because of the pain the individuals went through to reach perfection of holiness, but the immense Grace of God that were at work in the lives of those individuals who performed self-mortification.

Just imagine yourself deciding to begin self-mortification? It is not easy at all, and for Saints and individuals who still observe self-mortification in the traditional form, I must say, "only those who are trully called by God can have that humble godly courage to inflict constant pain on themselves."

There are various forms to mortify the flesh; to discipline the flesh. The most common of all forms of self-mortification is Prayer and Fasting/Abstinance. Personally, I observe weekly fasting and the days of fast I abstain from desserts, entertainments and I increase the time I spent in Prayer. When I first began fasting, this was before I became a Catholic, I did not fast with the knowledge of self-mortification; I never knew self-mortification. But, when I did fast I must say it was an awesome feeling; I placed myself to the test on the basis of God's Greatness, God's Love. At that young age when I begin the whole practice of fasting, under no ones encouragements, I did it because I felt I am loved so much by God who came to redeem me through His Son Jesus. In the early days of my fasting, I in fact did the whole ritual with much child-like joy; I began the day early in the morning before sunrise with prayer then a simple breakfast and ended the fast with a main meal of dinner, no solids in between breakfast and dinner, only a cup of hot-chocolate/milk for lunch. And yes, I did feel hungry.

(I remembered my aunt from Australia constantly asking me to eat when I was fasting, worried at that young age I may have insufficient energy to cope with studies and the high physical activities demanded in school.)

But, in that whole feeling of physical hunger and the discipline of turning down all friendly social invitation on my days of fast, deep down in my heart I was one with God. That to me is the benefit of fasting; there is no greater thing in this temporal life than to grow in love for God and one another. To undergo some minor form of pain in order to grow in wisdom of God, to grow in understanding of life and above all to grow in deep-humble-personal relationship with God is never a waste of effort.

But, flagellation? Nope, for now this is not my form of self-mortification. Fasting, hours in Prayers occationally and kneeling are the forms of self-mortification I am called too. Yet, for those who, by Grace, been given the ability to observe physical torture such as flagellation I must say God's Will be done! I do admire those who will go the extra mile, against current social trends, to inflict voluntary physical harm on themselves; only God can judge against it. Never the less, always perform self-mortification in good Spirit and if you should start having the idea of inflicting voluntary bodily harm like flagellation I advice that you first seek the guidance of a good and holy Spiritual Director.

Pax tecum!
Br Kenneth

7th August Salt+Light Meeting at St Mary's

2010-08-10T11:06:00.003+10:00

Bible Sharing from Luke12: 32-48

To me the Gospel message is about our priorities; as Catholic Christians where do we set our hearts?

Quating from a newsletter from the Bendictine Monks of St Joseph's Abbey, France:
On May 11, 2008, Pope Benedict 16th recalled our fundamental need for Christ: "Christ is our future...Without Christ humanity if without hope and without God in the world-'without hope because they were without God' [Encyclical Spe Salvi No. 3]. In fact anyone who does not know God, even though he may entertain all kinds of hope, is ultimately without hope, without the great hope that sustains the whole of life...It is therefore an urgent duty for everyone to proclaim Christ and His saving message. St. Paul said, "Woe to me if I do not preach [the Gospel]!

For me the message of the Holy Father is a very encouraging and strong message. The sense of the urgent need to proclaim Christ by word and example, ultimately comes down to WHERE IS MY HEART? Am I concern about the state of my life? Am I concern when I see others suffer? Am I concern when I see that the majority of people in the society are living in ignorance, disbelieve and superficial? What are my priorities?

If we read Luke 12: 32-48 Jesus is encouraging each of us to trust in God and not be afraid (Jesus refers us as "Little Flock"), because the Father is pleased to entrust us with the Kingdom. Yes, I am still only an insignificant flock, one that still needs constant care. Last week we had some minor issues with Salt+Light with regards to some individual segregating themselves by doing their 'meetings' all alone without the knowledge of anyone; to me this was not a true sign of Gospel Community. It does, take courage and patience to come to realization that we need not be afraid but to trust in the Father who has entrusted to me His Kingdom; fear need not be our first response when the impossible meets us.

Yes, the world is still a Little Flock; only recently the Pope announced a new body formed in the Vatican to encourage and oversea churches in the world who has opted for secularism rather than remaining faithful to the Scriptures and the Tradition of the Catholic Faith. Our society still needs us to be salt of the eath and light for the world; people still long to see the real presence of Jesus by our word and example of life.

Quating again from the newsletter:
All our countries have become mission territory; in the strict sense. There is an urgent necessity to arise and go in search above all of those baptized who have distanced themselves from participation in the life of our communities, as well as to seek those who know little or nothing of Jesus Christ. On January 6, 2008, Pope Benedict reminded us in the same sense that "each Christian is called to illuminate the path of the brethren by word and example of life. Every authentic believer with the little light that he carries within himself, can and must be a help to those alongside him, and even help the one for whom finding the way that leads to Christ is difficult."

Therefore, the question about our priorities, is summarized in the question of: Am I an authentic believer who will share with others the little light that I have? Am I a missionary?

Let us remember Luke 12:34, 'For your heart will always be where your riches are'.

Hold Me Close

2010-08-05T13:25:00.004+10:00

The trick is to remain within oneself; remember your core, remember your origin, remember who you are.

Seeing my experiences in Seminary and seeing the world we are in, the trick is to hold on to what we have within. Never allow the voices and challenges of life to break the values and believes we have within our core.

Was listening to HillSong music this morning, and I love the song which sings about how God holds us close to him. Not very easy to remind ourselves constantly that we do not need to do big things in the world we live in, but to do little things in small ways. I guess my challenge is not to fight the voices I see in the world and in the church, but to remind myself how much God loves me, and how God wraps me in His hands and how God holds me so close to his heart.

St Teresa of Avila once wrote, everything passes, but God remains the same. God Alone is Enough.

Pax Christi!

Salt+Light at Marian Valley & Mortal Sin

2010-08-01T11:56:00.004+10:00

Salt+Light, UQ visited Marian Valley, Canungra yesterday. It was a day well spent in Mass, devotions and fellowship; 11 of us in total was there. Praise God that though the forecast predicted possible fog and rain, all members were blessed with good weather-only a few seconds of drizzel while we prayed the Stations of the Cross.

I am also amazed by the youths, and am so glad that Salt+Light which was started by UQ students who suggested that my idea of a weekly Rosary and Bible Shaing in the month of Oct to be transformed into a prayer group in 2007. Yes, like all groups Salt+Light struggled to grow but seeing the fruits I am happy that such a group was formed!

I was asked about Mortal Sin by a student from Sydney. So, Jonathan my explanation during the trip was right but seems not to have convinced you.

Ok, the Cathechism of the Catholic Church teaches: "Mortal sin is sin whose object is grave matter and which is also committed with full knowledge and deliberate consent." Grave matter here is all that is specified by the 10 Commandments, and of cause there are different gravity as well; such as murder is a greater sin then theft.

Veniel sin, is a less serious matter, and consist if someone does not observe the standard perscribed by the moral law, or when someone disobeys the moral law in a grave matter, but without full knowledge or without complete consent. But yes, veniel sin, if repeated deliberately over time can become deadly to the individual; just like if we keep eating unhealthy fattening food be end up with dadly diseases such as heart attack, diabetes.

So, if an individual has no recollection or does not remember those sins? The issue here then is either the individual committed sin against the 10 Commandments without his/her full knowledge and that sin was not done deliberately. In this case, Jonathan, that is only a veniel sin- and yes, it will be best to seek pardon from God especially through the Sacrament of Penance. When someone is aware of mortal sin it will definitely mean that the sin was done in the fullest of knowledge and was done on purpose.

Have a great week ahead everyone!

State of Queensland Church

2010-07-28T10:00:00.004+10:00

Last Sunday at Mass a youth whispered into my ears, "I attended Mass at Sunnybank Our Lady of Lourdes and the sermon was done by a lay person". I told him I am not surprised as only 2 Sundays ago, at a Mass at Corinda I witnessed with my own eyes a Franciscan Nun giving the 'sermon'.

I was very very very naive before this, thinking that all that was said about the Queensland Diocese can never be true, I thought it was only real at Toowong and a few other parish churches.

Each time I see abuse done at the Holy Mass such as altar servers not in cassocks, non-reverant postures of readers, abuse to what was done by the priest at altar...I wonder:

Will I want to continue with God's Call to Priesthood?
How will those authentically called and sellected by God to priesthood or religious life respond?
Poor secular lay souls are mislead by sacrilegious acts done at Mass, which is the highest form of worship and prayer for a Catholic?

Yet, some will say, "oh, the heart is more important. It is in how we treat others that is more important." Yes, I totally agree with that. But, many documents and experiences have showed that if your foundation is not right, yes you can do acts and acts of charity, but what is the source that we use? Is the source founded and built on Deus Charitas Est? Or, is our source a pagan respond of the many out there, that yes, they do lots of 'charity' and good acts but their sources are in ideologies and secularistic ideals.

For me I am totally concern for our dearly beloved church. I wonder what are priest today leaving behind for poor souls; souls today are thirsting for truth, values, intimacy with the Divine.

Queensland may be building new buildings at Banyo and boasting of "at least ten men" interested in the priesthood. But, let us as Catholics remember that "it is the Lord who speaks". No matter how many buildings we build, how much efforts we place on promoting vocations, how many rosaries we say. God looks only at the internal, and if our intentions within God's Church is not holy and is not grounded in Christ we will ultimately fail. We need to see the fruits!

Let us take courage in the words of Pope Benedict in his closing sermon for the Year of the Priest, "ask your priests not only to be good, but to be good and holy priest."

br kenneth

The Power of Faith

2010-07-26T13:38:00.002+10:00

This weekend I spent time building community spirit with my fellow church members; we watched the movie Inception and on Sunday evening we had dinner while we watched Prime Minister Julie Gillard and Tony Abbott in debate. I must say it was a well spent weekend!

Today, the Church celebrates the Feast of Saints Joachim and Anne, the parents of the Virgin Mary, Mother of Christ. I attended Morning Mass and prayed the Intercessory Pray of St Anne, who is the patron Saint of my family; we call upon her intercession each time after family prayer.

Faith! This can be a very gigantic word for someone who believes in God. I was reading the cathechism last week, and the Church teaches that faith is a grace; to believe and to live out that act of believing is a grace. There is also such a sentence as "obedience of faith"; faith draws us to redefine out lives, to reshape our lives, in accordance to faith in God.

In my life, I tend to expect all things good when it comes to religion-when it comes to faith. For me I have the expectations that my obedience to the faith must have no obstacles. Yet, when I scrutinize my life I must say there were moments of doubt, unbelieve, hesitation, suffering on my part. When I look around my life there were moments I regretted having decided on some decisions, experiencing pain caused by the advice/action of others, the sense of becoming lost with the demands of our society and the many rejections I faced.

Recently, Pope Benedict mentioned that good people do suffer; even those who believe in God do suffer. But the Pope mentioned that those who have Faith possess a priceless gift- faith enables a believer to rise, to come out of a difficulty victoriously. Yes, these are words of Wisdom but we may not see this Wisdom manifested especially when one is on a 'journey to Calvary'.

A Saint once said, "if we desire for what is sweet, let us also expect the cross".

Let us pray for our church, our Pope, and all God's people.

As a Christian who expect the Resurrection, I must also remember the message of Christ's Cross!

Mary Has Chosen the Right Thing

2010-07-19T13:18:00.006+10:00

The Lord answered her, "Martha, Martha! You are worried and troubled over so many things, but just one is needed. Mary has chosen the right thing, and it will not be take away from her."

Luke 10:41

The Gospel Reading of the 16th Sunday in Ordinary Time was about Martha and Mary from Luke 10:38-42. I attended the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass at Corinda and the priest before the mass mentioned this Gospel is about finding a balance in life, while the homily was done by a Sister; this is not supposed to be happening as only a Priest or Deacon can deliver a Sermon.

Anyway on EWTN, a Catholic television program, the priest gave a very good sermon speaking on Mary. He spoke of the need to spent time with God; by attending Mass daily, Confession, ect. He spoke of the need to look within ourselves and ask ourselves, "What is God asking of us?" The priest on the TV mentioned about just answering that question on a spiritual basis. Wow!!! I guess like me, many today, must be compromising; yes our very job is a prayer, even the breath we take is a form of prayer some claims.

I must say the priest was very true; many today easily speak about finding a balance in life while omitting the need to spent a one-to-one communion with the person of Jesus. I will not be supprised that many will say that Mary who sat and listened to Jesus was not making much use of herself, many will suggest that Mary should be helping Martha with her chores.

For me, I think both are important, the listening (Mary) and the doing (Martha); especially in my busy life I need to struggle to be made aware of the need to sit at the Lord's feet in prayer. Yet, looking at my surroundings I will say that like Mary, I need and I must find time to sit at the Lord's feet and just listen. I need to remove all the obstacles I place around me; like Martha who was filled with all sorts of worries.

Below are some pictures of my recent visit to a subard in QLD called Corinda and pictures of the Monastery.

The Cross is There if you go in Search for God

2010-07-12T12:39:00.004+10:00

I have been proven wrong with all my naive ideas about the church. I always thought the church, our priests and religious, will all be enthusiastic and interested in forming committed, spiritual and good individuals. For the past 7 years since leaving high school I was so insistent that the Chuch is a holy place, a place where we are free to express our Catholic Faith, Spirituality and Practice Faith freely; a family based Church.

I was wrong!

My friends, I must say I have come to know a good handful of trully sincere young men at Buranda and UQ who are so committed in the Faith and looking at the Priesthood or serving the Church. My advice especially to those who have experienced a deep intense Call from God are:

LISTEN to those orthodox people if you are sure your local diocese is in a terrible shape; I never believed them, as orthodox people are termed "the doom and gloom" people. Sadly, through my experience these people are right.
TRUST those good books you read that tells of the diocese in Aus and America. I always put myself away from such orthodox books thinking, as the liberals call, it is the work of the "doom and gloom" people. I never trusted those books thinking that all the negative comments about situation of the Church in America and Australia are false and can never be true. I must say that they are 90% true.
LEAVE your diocese, or even your mother land if you sincerely desire to give your life to Jesus. Once again i thought this act was wrong and stupid. But, today with the situation of the world and our church we have to pay great price to be trully men and women of God; you either pretend (remain low) or get out if you are in a not so good Seminary/Order. In my home parish in Penang, Malaysia a young man who is orthodox in his Faith has turned the Altar Servers into Tridentine style Servers and he is recruiting people for a good Catholic Order of Priests out of Malaysia. I thought that was a very stupid move, but one again that it is today; you either respond to your Call in a good place, or forget your Call totally.

Once again, I speak only for myself and for those in similar experiences like me. Above all everyone is trying to make the situation in this diocese good for the Greater Glory of God.

br kenneth

GoSh!!! gOsH!!! GOSH!!!

2010-06-24T13:40:00.003+10:00

The one thing I am so grateful to God Almigthy is the many people I have come to know as I now live the life of service to God's Church; people from all walks of life, with different experiences. In in the midst of all these 'getting-to-know-you' sometimes you cannot help it but to see the FRAGILITY of human life; there are weaknesses in each of us, we as humans are basically selfish and self-centered.

Why do I say so?

Come, before we judge others, let us look deeply within ourselves. Let us scutinize our attitudes, our ideas, our bahaviours, our intentions...Do they come from a very clear love, concern, understanding? Do they come from the Fruits of the Spirits? Yes, perhaps at times there are moments we show concern for others, we share a listening ear, and all these act of love was purely from the Love of God and Fruits of the Spirit.

Yet, so often in our actions lie hidden within it the hidden agenda(s)- we have a need to get 'contacts', the need to prove ourself right and others wrong, the need to get attention. Yes, perhaps some of these are vital if we want to survive in the world. Nothing wrong if we act 'christian' with the hope of getting something in return.

But, for a baptized Catholic, we are constantly challenged by the very Words of Jesus- to Love God and to Love neighbour! Jesus wants our Christian actions to be of one mind and one heart with the Love of God. Like Mary the Mother of God, who gave all of herself for the service of Salvation; Mary had no hidden agendas. I will say our Church, our community and our world will be a much better place when there are more people who understands what Christian action is?

Like Mary we need Prayer and Penance, we need the Word of God, to form our lives more into a trully caring, loving and concern human being. Let us learn true humility, purity of intentions and docility; when we achieve these our lives will be so much better and fuller!

So, why are you doing good today?

I Will be Away

2010-06-18T19:37:00.003+10:00

Today, marks the end of the first half of my formation, and at the same time marks the beginning of a new second half. Our life has so many different expects, so many different colors, yet each color plays a specific role/purpose in our existence at one point in life. Here, I am learning different areas of my existence; so often I misunderstand others, while others misunderstand me. In reality just like the fact that it takes years to discover the beauty of the mystery of life, we too take years to discover the reality of ourselves and of others; perhaps, we will never fully come to terms with humanity and of the Divine.

Never the less, I give thanks to Almigthy God because I have come to know a little bit more of myself and of others. I give thanks to God that I have been able to discover Him more in the areas of daily prayers, Bible reading and community living. So, often we fail to be aware of the so many insignificant blessings of God that comes our way. In life everything is temporal, not everlasting, and what happens tomorrow is not in my hands but in the hands of God.

I will most probably have no excess to the computer for the next 3 weeks as I spent time with members of St Gregory Traditional Latin Mass group of Buranda and the Monastic Community; I will be giving myself ample space to breath new air so to better give myself to God and to others.

My friends, let us live the Faith, fight the good fight and win the race.

May the Lord's face shine upon us, be gracious to us and remain with us all!

Br Kenneth Gan

Visiting the Marist Brothers at Marist College, Ashgrove

2010-06-15T20:37:00.005+10:00

Today, Br Stephern and I had a nice time visiting the Marist Brothers at Ashgrove. It was nice to see Br Roger Burke again after some weeks without Latin tutorials. I particularly like the simple living environment the brothers live in; just the very basic needs. A sad side, just like every where in the world, there are no young Brothers active within the school. Most of the Brothers have retired, and it is my humble hope that someday soon many young men will respond the call to Religious Life.

Seeing the young boys in the school reminded me of my passion in bringing God's Love to the lives of young people. God's Love is the solution to the emptiness that so many people, especially the young, are experiencing.

After our visit to Marist College, Ashgrove Br Stephen and I had nice Italian Pastries and coffee at Ashgrove Avenue. Superb!!! Chocolate is my all time favourite!

May God, the source of communion and love, lead each of us to the fullness of life. May our daily contact with our neighbour be a spiritual experience; one that is strived to live in Christian perfection!

Pax tecum!

Selfishness is deadly

2010-06-12T21:14:00.002+10:00

11th Sunday in Ordinary Time
'If this had not been enough, I would have given you twice as much.' (2Samuel 12:8)

This passage from the Old Testament is a powerful reminder of the reality of our human condition; we are basically very selfish, we have the tendency to be selfish. 2Samuel tells of the Prophet Nathan who went to deliver a message to King David, reminding David that the Lord has given David so much. Yet, David fails to show signs of gratefullness.

To this Jesus teaches us, "I tell you, then, the great love she has shown proves that her many sins have been forgiven. But whoever has been forgiven little shows only a little mercy." (Gospel of Luke 7:47)

This Gospel of Luke is a mirror of 2Samuel 12, here we have Jesus in a Pharisee's (sinner) house and comes a sinful woman who wetted Jesus' feet with her tears, and poured perfume on Jesus' feet. Jesus reminds us that the woman, who had experienced so much forgiveness has in her own responds showed the encounter of mercy by an act of LOVE.

Humanity, like me, has great tendency to move towards the self- we forget the need to be self-less. Is this a sin? I will say so. Thank God that as Catholics we are constantly reminded of the nature of humanity; we are people in great need of constant encounter with mercy. But, on upon receiving that mercy so often, in our tendency towards selfishness, we forget to show mercy to others, we forget to show love.

At times, I struggle too with the need to be self-less. Imagine in our daily routines and preferences; so often I want things done in my way, done according to my time, I fail to give others preferences to what they want. So often, I observed that like me, humanity can be charitable but only on one condition. We are charitable only when it suits us!

Thus, let us all be challenged this 11th Sunday in Ordinary Time to show mercy and love at all times. Let, us reflect the areas of life we have failed to show mercy and love when God who is so generous to us has shown us GREAT MERCY and LOVE.

Br Ken

Month of Devotion to the Sacred Heart

2010-06-08T19:13:00.003+10:00

Devotions, fasting, penance and perhaps even daily faithful prayer makes people get on their foot, and ready to get away from you. What has happen to us today? Are these spiritual practices only for Religious Brothers, Sisters, Nuns and Monks?

This month of June the Church remembers the Sacred Heart of Jesus; we recall the love of God through the heart of Christ Jesus, the Word made flesh. I told some individuals to make a point to pray the Litany of the Sacred Heart each evening during the month of June, and the individual responded negatively to the recommendation that I made. Again I wonder, what has happen to us today? Are we Catholic Christians afraid of an intimate relationship with God?

I will say that it is not that the world is afraid of an intimate relationship with God. I think why majority of Catholics today look with some disgust on devotions is mainly because Priests and Religious have failed to explain the richness of devotions, and what more even to practice devotions themselves in public. Individuals today have built barriers for themselves- creating barriers against God and against individuals.

Recently, I spoke to a Seminarian and enquired his support for forms of devotions. He was very quick to respond, “I will never support devotions! I believe in doing good, using practical methods!” I must admit this is a very common mentality today, I even get these respond from non-Christians. Yet, I must say that devotions never puts a stop to the need to do good works; all our prayers, Bible readings, devotions must ultimately lead the individual to an internal renewal, which is then expressed through good works.

Till today, I have yet to come across Priests and Religious who will speak prophetically about the richness of prayer, meditation on God’s work, penance and devotions.

I must say my moderate observance of First Friday Devotion during my early years as a Catholic and my faithful praying of the Rosary, while also observing other devotions such as Intercessions of Saint, has not only granted me favours. But more importantly I have grown in love for God, having a sense of the mysteries of life, humble desire to serve others and love for Holy Mother Church. In my record, I have without any encouragement from my parents, friends or individuals, I have assisted in areas of health care and tutoring orphans on a volunteer basis (no pay). Also, on my very own initiative I have saved money during penitential seasons of the year (Lent and Advent) and used the money to buy daily needs for those who are truly poor; I insisted on bringing those gift hampers to the poor myself.

Have we become a Church that is all about doing this and doing that- “OH, JUST LIVE A GOOD LIFE BY LOVING YOUR NEIGHBOUR.” Is this the best answer I can give to individuals who come to me seeking the face of God?

Eucharist to me is like an ocean!

2010-06-05T22:44:00.004+10:00

When I reflect on the Eucharist, so much thoughts and feelings come to my mind. I imagine the Eucharist as a wide ocean, I look out into the horizons, I see the waves come and go. In my heart I feel the immense purpose of my life as an individual called by Christ; no words is ever good enough to describe God or the mystery of life.

Like the Eucharist, so much has been said about the Eucharist; the topic about transubstantiation, idea on Eucharist as a meal, and so on. But, in reality the whole idea of the Eucharist is a MYSTERY! Eucharist is Christ, Eucharist is about Christ, Eucharist has the same weight as the Word of God- thus, it will never be enough to speak about the Eucharist! I start to think that this is a great blessing for us as Catholic Christians. We have MYSTERY to deal as part of our pilgrimage in life; when we have a world that is afraid of mysteries, we as Catholics are confronted with mystery everyday of our existence!

As I imagine myself sitting on a beach, looking out into the horizons, it is never ending. A person searching for God, a person reflecting on the mystery of God, can only have so much an understanding of God. The whole idea of Church as a Body Of Christ is in fact a reality- each of us have only so little discovery of God, but together as ONE BODY, we become THE BODY OF CHRIST. This is why, I always welcome every Catholic no matter their state of believe; as long as we are faithful to the Gospel of Christ.

Like the waves that come and go, that is the reality of life. As I dine with my friend and his family this evening, he told me that he never imagined meeting me for dinner and here I am in 2010 training to become a Roman Catholic Priest; he says that life is full of uncertainties. He added that, he did not think that we will be working as a pharmacist now when his plan was to start a doctorate degree. Like the waves that come quickly, and return to the ocean quickly, the fullness of mystery is such as the waves. We cannot hang onto that very moment of the mystery of Christ in the Eucharist forever unending; once we are aware of that mystery, we take in as much as we can, and live that mystery to the best of our ability. This is why at Mass, we dwell in the mystery of the Word and of Christ in the Eucharist, and we finally have to go out and live that mystery.

We need to live that mystery by becoming that mystery!
Happy Feast of the Body of Christ!

br ken gan

Sacred Heart of Jesus

2010-06-01T11:45:00.002+10:00

If the sacraments are the divine means through which the Divine Love is poured out, it is only in prayer that we can take the full measure of that Love. It is only in prayer that we can put ourselves fully at the disposal of that Love. Just as it is impossible for two persons to get to know each other without spending time together, so it is impossible for to experience the Love of Christ without speanding time with Him.

(Fr. Pius of Mary, OSB)

Sadly, I must admit that since starting my education in Australia, away from family and friends, my devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus dwindled; I cease to observe the First Friday of the Month, observing it only when I was able to. On the other hand, sadly too, is the fact that many of these rich forms of devotions have died down- many cease to be in existence in Parish Churches. This even happens in Malaysia, my home country, many fail to realize that being Catholic no matter where you are we as Catholics share the same strengths and struggles.

I hope, now as a Seminarian who aspires to be ordained a Priest I can within myself revive the Devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the Immaculate Heart of Mary. They were such beautiful devotions that draws my heart closer to the Love of Jesus and the Love of Jesus pondered by Mary. I remembered the years before I received Baptism, as a young boy, I was so interested in the First Friday Mass; I used to walk 30 minutes from home to my parish Church of the Immaculate Conception, and served in the Mass and Benediction. I enjoyed praying the Act of Consecration to the Sacred Heart (and to the Immaculate Heart on First Saturdays) because the prayers seemed so powerful to me; the words used created a sense of love and awe for Jesus. The other thing I most enjoyed, is incensing the Monstrance during the Benediction! Oh, how I missed those sacred moments that the world fails to give souls that are thristing for spirituality!

I hope in the future, I can share the Divine Love of Jesus to all through the revival of the Devotions to the Sacred Heart and Immaculate Heart.

May this Month of June, Month of the Sacred Heart be a constant reminder of God's generosity to each of us and for all humanity.

Pax tecum!

Missionary Zeal and Dynamism

2010-05-31T19:38:00.005+10:00

It thus follows that the spiritual life of the priests hould be profoundly marked by a missionary zeal and dynamism.

(Pastores Dabo Vobis)

I spent this afternoon reading the Apostolic Exhortation of His Holiness the late Pope John Paul2. I must admit my conversion, my conviction and my enthusiasm has been confirmed by the inspiration of the late Pope.

Pope JP2 mentioned about the different charisms that priests are encouraged to have; charism that will be benificial to the entire church. This is why deep within I still consider myself having the inspiration of St Francis of Assisi; Francis's way of life is a marvelous example of Gospel zeal. Charisms does have the power, if it is marked by Gospel humility, to bring about great vocations, conversions and life to the Church in the modern world, which seems to be marked by a 'decrease'.

Like St Francis, all of us men and women, the laity, are called by the same Jesus Christ to be missionaries and to be dynamic in our approach to Faith. For me, I pray that the way I live and move may be a manisfestation of the Gospel; like Francis I hope as a priest, I can be first and foremost a brother to others.

The message of Pope Benedict on prayer and penance is something I desire to further explore in order to acheive, to the best of my ability, to live the Gospel message of Jesus Christ. Prayer and penance, if done with a good intention, has and will continue to bring goodness to me and the church.

pax tecum!

br kenneth

Gosh, it's the Trinity!

2010-05-30T14:28:00.003+10:00

There is a variety of gifts but always the same Spirit; there are all sorts of service to be done, but always to the same Lord; working in all sorts of different ways in different people, it is the same God who is working in all of them. – 1Cor 12:4-6

Many people find it very challenging to speak about the Trinity; 3 Persons in 1 God. I guess on a laymen’s term we can say that there are three different personalities, or work forces, in the whole mystery of ONE GOD.

But, as I took my usual walk in the cold autumn morning at 6.25am, from my house to the Seminary’s Oratory I was reflecting on the idea of the Trinity. As I walked the idea of the sign of the cross came to mind; how privileged for me to have the courage to sign myself with the cross, invocating the Trinity, each time I call myself to prayer?

As I sign myself with the cross, invocating the Father, Son and Holy Spirit I call to mind:

The Redemptive Love of God
I find my origin and end in the mystery of God; 3 persons in 1 being
The Lamb of God (God the Son) who died for me on the cross, rose from the dead and is now seated at the right hand of God
My vocation as a child of God; to be sensitive to the prompting of the Spirit
That without this mystery of God, without an extra pillar in my life, my life is just like a living-dead rock
I know through baptism I have been saved
As with the Trinity, I am called into a relationship with God and one another

As we ponder the mystery of the Trinity, let us recall how blessed are we to be children of God; baptized, saved and called to live life in its fullness.

Pax tecum!

What the hell is 'blindness'?

2010-05-27T08:56:00.002+10:00

Bartimaeus in the Gospel according to St Mark manages to catch the attention of Jesus; Bartimaeus was shouting “Jesus! Son of David! Have mercy on me!” I will believe that this blind beggar named Bartimaeus did believe in the Divinity of Jesus, which then prompted him to have the courage to shout and call upon Jesus.

This morning at Meditation I reflected on words that come out of my mouth and the Faith that is within me. If we reflect on Bartimaeus actions and words in Mark 10:46-52, Bartimaeus’ words reflects his deepest Faith conviction; Bartimaeus was a man of his word, Bartimaeus meant what he said. This was a reality as Jesus said to Bartimaeus, “Go, your faith has made you well.”

For me, the blindness of Bartimaeus was not a physical disability, but was more of a spiritual/emotional/psychological blindness. Yes, no doubt Bartimaeus as a beggar may be seen by the members of his society as an outcast, and maybe a sinner. But, in the world we live in today many of us are ‘beggars’. In one way or another, so many of us are ‘blind beggars’. It is so sad that the majority of our world today fails to recognize the need to cry out to Jesus, like Bartimaeus, and seek once again for the ability to see with eyes of our hearts.

I remembered when I was in college completing my New South Wales HSC, since then some days I had no class and was at home; so I was more in my parent’s eyes. Being a young man in love with God, I had very often turned down invitation for outings (shopping, movie, meals) if those outings clashes with my fixed Prayer times. I never allowed anything that is unimportant to come distract my Prayer time, volunteer services to the Church and community, and Church Masses. In University I started to relax a little, but I was still a rather strict young man when it comes to Spiritual observance.

There is a danger today, a danger recently spoken by Pope Benedict, of a “silent” religious practice. And I must say this is true in Australia, even in Malaysia, and I believe definitely in all the Catholic Churches throughout the world. Pagans and Catholics today take easy paths, many priests and religious are taking the highways with a very pagan respond, “the heart is more important”. Many today take the easy excuse that, putting to heart is good enough. Today even Catholics are having this corrupted mentality that as long as I love one another, do good works and lead a healthy life is all that counts; so the need for holiness, a relationship with God, is flushed down the drain.

I firmly believe our Church today need a constant renewal, Vatican 2 has challenged us into a deeper union with God; Vatican2 has given us ample space in the Sacraments as laity to discover God. Have I done that? Have you done that? Have you constantly challenge your priests and religious towards a life of holiness? And if you have, have you now given up because your request for traditional forms of prayers are ignored? Never allowed that to happen!

Like Bartimaeus we need be constantly convinced that what we are called in life, we must do it. Like Bartimaeus we must not let the people around us dictate our physical (Bartimaeus’ blindness) and spiritual (Bartimaeus crying out to Jesus) state in life. We need the courage to live not only by speaking, but we must be convinced of our words; our words we speak must give life, it must come from our convictions, our faith.

br kenneth gan-Pax Tecum

The Words 'BEING' (TO BE) and 'ACTION' (TO ACT)

2010-05-16T20:52:00.002+10:00

Jesus said to them again, "Peace be with you. As the Father sent me,, so I send you." Then he breathed on them and said, "Receive the Holy Spirit.

John 20:21-22

This week I received a phone call from Malaysia and a text message from a friend in Australia; both had the main question, “WHAT AM I DOING IN SEMINARY?” Another friend asked my opinion on how to tackle a friend who seems to place personal opinion above everything other then the Truth, which most of the time clashes with our personal opinions (ideologies, doctrines created by humanity…).

You know, most times God speak to me in ways that seem so so so insignificant! This week with all that was happening deep in my heart, the calls I got over phone and the questions placed to me- it confirms that God wants me to focus on the issue of BEING rather than ACTING.

Hah! Being and acting are, in fact, two very different words. Many sermons I listened to with regards to Pentecost speak of action words; many preachers stress on the fact that the disciples were empowered and off they went out to proclaim. Poof they went! It is all exciting, full of action, joy and courage. This is ACTING- this is an action word; demands cause and effect.

'BEING', if one meditates on it tells of a single word that incorporates both the active and passive. Being demands that first we are what and who we are; we need honesty, docility, courage and determination to face the Truths of our very selves. Perhaps the question will be, “Deep down in me, who am I?” This is the passive nature of the word ‘BEING’.

After we discover the Truth of our selves, once we are enlightened by the Spirit, we need to face the Truth. If one discover that he/she is a selfish person, and the Holy Spirit encourages him/her to open the doors of his/her heart, the person responds to it. Hah! But, one can also be reluctant to face fact. HHmmm…So, the word ‘BEING’ can be challenging. This word ‘BEING’ can remain totally passive, or if an invidual is open enough to allow the Spirit to take control, then the word ‘BEING’ can also be an active word.

I must admit so very often I am a sinner, I chose ACTION rather than BEING. So, often our society worships action; climbing up the social ladder, earn large sums of money, excellence in sports, brilliant, women rights, social justice. We are a society that has been blinded by this reality of action- everywhere we see we observe the majority of people struggling to have a difference in the environment they are in. TO BE (‘BEING’) is so hard, this is so difficult because it begins with us.

Perhaps this is why so many today face breakdown in marriages, suicides (a friend told me a friend in India committed suicide), Church corruptions, lack in Vocations to Priesthood and Religious Life. I will say this is caused greatly by the reality that we have failed to KNOW OURSELVES. Or we are afraid to open the 'doors' of our lives to face the real reality-the reality founded in the Truth proclaimed by Jesus.

As we observe the Novena to the Holy Spirit, let us pray for the coming of the Spirit. In prayer, let us not only blindly pray, but let us also BE THE PRAYER; allow ourselves to listen to the Spirit within and be open enough to respond with generosity to the Spirit. Let us allow Jesus to breath LIFE upon us-OPEN WIDE YOUR HEARTS!

Veni Creator Spiritus!
Br Ken

Why am I so faithful?

2010-05-09T20:36:00.003+10:00

Sometimes, after having spoken to high school friends who just seem to be doing good in life-you know, having a stable job, enjoying themselves, having relationships, buying power- I tend to ask myself, "LORD, WHY DID I CHOSE YOU? WHY LIVE A LIFE OF SERVICE FOR OTHERS?"

I have given this big discision of Priesthood-Religious Life a deep thought ever since I got my Call in 1997. I will not say it was a matured and realized reflection upon this question of Priesthood. But, I always felt assued by the Lord each time I turned my inner eyes, inner ears and inner heart towards the Priesthood. It was the Love of God that gives be the sure ability to fully see myself as I am.

I did tried to 'force' myself to enjoy my education and working career. I admit I do missed that salary cheques that comes in the THOUSANDS of $$$. With the money I see my savings grew, what more I had in my own hands BUYING POWER! In the evenings and the weekends I enjoyed meeting friends and spending some money on food and personal items.

Yet, it was the Love of God that constantly bucks me behind all my false masks I placed over myself. Money, yes! Good! Buying power-fantastic! Enjoying the evenings and weekends-builds relationships! But, deep deep deep down something so big yet so invisible was missing.

Now, living in the Seminary I am thankful for the Rector, Spiritual Director, Formators and my Brother Seminarians. I am grateful that I found my fulfillment on this journey towards the Priesthood. Sometimes when I spent time in prayer and reflection, my mind goes towards the days I was working out in the world; I asked myself, shouldn't i be working rather than praying here?

But, you know what? Nothing is better then for me to spend time with my Creator and to desire to lead others to the desire to know this BIG BUY, OUR CREATOR- God is so big, yet so INVISIBLE!

Come Holy Spirit!

2010-05-02T10:29:00.003+10:00

In the month of May, for a devoted Latin Rite Roman Catholic is the month of the Virgin Mary. A quatation from Pope Benedict 16th in the Ordo for Priests and Religious says, "The MONTH OF MAY evoke sweet memories linked to the vespertine gatherings to honour the Blessed Mother...Especially in these days that prepare us for the Solemnity of Pentecost, let us remain united with Mary, invoking for the Church a renewed effusion of the Holy Spirit "(3 May 2008).

To many, they may wonder why the Virgin Mary? Why not have a month in honor of one of the 12 Apostles who were also present at the first Pentecost? Why not the month of the Spirit, or Jesus or God the Father?

I too was trying to make sense, as I joined Catholics from Salt+Light to pray on our First Saturday Meeting. Why Mary?

Perhaps, it is the quality of a mother and a woman that the Church tries to make use of to see the face of the Spirit. So, little is spoke on women and the Virgin Mother in the Bible. Yet, I can assure you that the nature of a mother and of a woman is hidden behind the lines of the Gospels.

Pope John Paul 2 has praised women for doing so much for the Church. Women have a very special role within the Catholic Church, a role beyond the words used in Scripture and in Liturgy. A role that is sacred, humble and ever inspiring! Look to our mothers and our Religious Sisters for good examples of the reality of the vocation of women within the Catholic Church.

Therefore, in May we look to Mary to encauraged in our hearts the human universal value of docility, humility, openess to the mystery of God in life, patience, endurance, love, peace, care for the other, chaste, self-giving...The list goes on.

Having incorporated, reflected and experienced the values found in Mary we can then go own our knees and pray for the true coming of the Holy Spirit in our lives. And when we as individuals are transformed and are responsive to those inner transformation within us, then the Church is renewed by the Holy Spirit!

O, Mary our Blessed Lady! May my heart be the tabernacle of the Holy Ghost, pray for me for the gifts of the Holy Spirit. So, that having been transformed inwardly, I may with the help of God, proclaim His Goodness in my daily life. The Spirit is one of Joy, Freedom, Life, Love.

The Virgin Mary in the Month of May

2010-04-24T06:49:00.004+10:00

The Month of May, a month dedicated to the Virgin Mother of Jesus, Mary Most Holy. Traditionally in my family and during the days of my schooling, we observed October as Month of Mary, Month of the Rosary. But, thank God for the youths of Salt+Light who have aegerly reminded me every year about the Month of May.

Holy Mother the Church, invites her children in May to look to Mary. Why? Mother Church asked her children in the month of May to put on practice the virtue of Holiness/Prayer. Mother Church asks of us to be in Prayer to the Holy Ghost for the life of the Church. In May, like Mary who was in the Upper Room, we are called to be renewed by the Holy Ghost.

Yes, in May we as Church celebrates Pentecost or, also known as, Whitsunday.

What is this renewal that we as Church expect? Its easy to pray for the Holy Spirit to come, but it is a whole different story when it comes to how willing are we to respond to the Spirit's prompting? Like Jesus, the Spirit continues to stir the hearts of men to respond to the message of Christ in today's society. Many times the message of Christ is not one that will give you and I a good life; it can mean becoming persecuted by our friends, hate by the certain Church leaders, scorn by the majority.

All I can say that, like so many of you, I too find it difficult to respond with my whole life to the call of the Spirit. Not only society will look at me with a weird eye, but sadly even God's Holy people tend to have prejudice to those who are 'different'.

Never the less, in Pentecost we certainly need to ask ourselves questions. Am I willing to walk in faithfulness in response to the call of the Spirit? If I am not willing to allow myself to be tranformed whole heartedly by the Spirit then why am I observing Pentecost? If I claim that I need to reshape all the promptings I get and suit the message of the Spirit to my liking, then why am I praying "COME HOLY SPIRIT, ENLIGHTHEN THE HEARTS OF YOUR FAITHFUL"?

Sancta Maria, Mater Dei-Ora Pro Nobis!

Jesus My Bread of Life

2010-04-21T19:12:00.007+10:00

"I am the bread of life," Jesus told them.

"Those who come to me will never be hungry; those who believe

in me will never be thirsty."

JOHN 6: 35

The greatest offering I can offer the Lord and His Church is the gift of myself. I thank God each day for those that are involved in my formation and for the Brothers I am journeying with. Giving up my dreams long ago was something I never see as a risk. All I know is that God created me from dust, and to dust I will eventually return; human life is nothing if we do not respond to the message we get from God.

Jesus is my bread of life, Jesus is the joy of my life-Jesus is my everything!

To have Jesus, I will say I take on His deepest message and conform my life to His Will. No doubt I am only a mere human being, one that is made of dust, but each day I sense a deep renewal of my love for God and for the people of God. Yes, I am weak, but it is in my weakness that I am amde strong; it is in my sinfulness that Grace can take effect and lift me up on eagles wings.

To have Jesus as my bread of life, till today I have lack nothing and I desire nothing temporal. Yes, I have a very good family that supports me, I have a good home way back in Malaysia, I have many good friends and I am highly educated. But, with the addition of Jesus in my life, my life have been transformed by the turth of God and my existance. The message of Jesus overshadows all I have and gives me the ability to see the hidden truth of life founded in my family, friends, education and those around me. The message of Jesus has given me all that one's soul can ever desire for.

The truth of God I experience can never be put into words; no words can fully discribe the transformation and fullness of life I am experiencing today. It is His deep Love that have filled my life to the brim to the extend that I "thirst" no more. Jesus has fed me so much with His love that I am not "hungry" for anything that leads me to self-destruction. My heart, deep down in me, I long only for one thing- I LONG FOR THE ABILITY TO KNOW LOVE AND LOVE LOVE, BECAUSE GOD IS LOVE!

Is Jesus the bread of your life? Are you still hungry? Are you always thristy?